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Lisa King

September 18, 2012

This is Lisa's last post for us here at tofw.com. A HUGE thank you to Lisa for sharing so much of her heart and life with us! We have laughed and cried and learned from Lisa and her courage and honesty. Here's to jumping in the waves today.

The school football team that Aaron used to coach won the premiership flag and then went on to win the State Premiership Cup this last week. They wrote his name on their hands, wore black arm bands, and dedicated their win to him.

I felt very emotional as a speech was made that mentioned Aaron and how he was supposed to coach the team this year. I sobbed when I received photos of the whole team standing around Aaron’s grave, singing the school song as they placed the flag at his grave.

I was grateful for the boys who made a special effort to put their arms around me and say that they did it for Aaron. I was particularly aware-and grateful-that even though it has been seven months since Aaron passed, they still talk about and remember Aaron today.

When things like that happen, it temporarily soothes my fear that Aaron and Noah will be forgotten.  I’m scared that the world will forget that there were these two amazing people in it who touched so many lives just by being themselves. 

I’m scared that people will forget that Aaron was an awesome dad and husband and an amazing teacher who taught his students not only the curriculum, but important life skills.  He taught them to believe in themselves and do the best that they could in everything. 

I’m scared that even my own boys’ memories will fade of their very special brother who taught them more in ten years than we ever would have imagined.  I’m scared that their memories of Aaron will also fade because they are all so young. Photos, stories and videos can only jog memories so much.

I’m sad that eventually people will probably forget the story of the poor woman from Tasmania whose disabled son passed away, and then her husband passed away three months later.  I wish it was just a story. But it’s my everyday reality, and although I have faith that things will get easier, it’s so hard.
As much as I’m suffering with my own grief at the moment, I hope that what I’m going through may help someone in some way.  I want people to know that some trials turn out to be huge blessings. I want them to know that having a child with a disability is tough – really tough.  But it’s also wonderful if you allow it to be. 

I want people to know that no marriage is ever perfect, but to never take anything for granted because one day it can be taken away in a minute – literally.  I want people to realise that even if life isn’t what they planned or hoped or expected, it’s still good.

When I talk to friends and they start to talk about something that they’re going through, I often hear them say, “I shouldn’t complain to you.”

But everyone has trials. It may not be losing a son and a husband, but it’s still tough and they still need love and support.

I want people to remember what has happened to us, and to think about how they can help someone else in need. I hope that people reach out to someone who is struggling – no matter what the cause may be.

I want people to know that it’s okay to say, “I don’t know what to say” or “I’m thinking of you.” Saying that is better than not saying anything at all.

I want people to know that sometimes there is nothing you can do to change a situation for someone, but just letting them know that prayers are being prayed for them helps.

I want people to put their arms around someone and just let them know that they are willing to listen, because most of the time that is all I need.

My heart aches every day because Aaron and Noah aren’t here.  I look forward to the day when the ache is tempered a bit. I look forward to the day when we’re all together again. And I hope that in the meantime, our story remains in people’s hearts, inviting them to hold their loved ones closer, appreciate blessings, and make the most of every single day.

Lisa King is a woman of faith with a zest for life who loves photography, chocolate, helping children with special needs and being a mum. TOFW first met Lisa at the Sydney, AU event in July 2011. We have been amazed at her ability to SEEK THE GOOD thru the trials that have come her way, including unexpectedly losing her son and husband within 4 months of each other. Lisa was born and raised, and continues to live in the beautiful area of Tasmania, AU and looks forward to the day when she can introduce her boys to Rexburg, Idaho, USA, where she has incredible memories of a year at college before returning to Australia where she met and married her sweetheart, the late Aaron King.

This will be our last post from Lisa, but keep following her courageous journey at her blog: