TOFW Blogs

Ring By Spring

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 00:43:00 -0700

My first calling to serve in the Primary came when I was 38 years old. After years serving in Relief Society, I was nervous to work with the children. My fears quickly subsided as I discovered that the real lessons in living the gospel happen in primary classrooms. I’ve learned more about living my covenants intentionally and deliberately from Primary children than from just about anyone else.

For about a year and a half I had the opportunity of teaching a class of 10-11 year old girls. We got to be great friends. At the beginning of what would be our last year together, I invited each of them to read the Book of Mormon on their own for the first time. They were to mark any reference to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and come to church each Sunday prepared to share something they had discovered.

Our Sunday discussions were delightful as we talked of and testified of Jesus Christ and our faith in Him. One by one, the girls finished the Book of Mormon and testified for themselves of its truthfulness.

On my last Sunday prior to moving from Arizona to Utah I brought a small treat to share with the girls. However, each girl graciously declined the treat assuring me they would save it for later. It was then that I discovered that they had decided to fast for me that Sunday. They had heard that when a girl moves to Provo to go to BYU, she gets a “ring by spring.” They were fasting for me to meet my husband.

I explained to them that they probably shouldn’t get their hopes up as I had been fasting and praying for years. To which they responded: “Where is your faith? Isn’t that what you taught us? Now get up there and get to work.”

Needless to say, I was touched by their faithful act on my behalf. I was motivated by my new life in a new state, teaching at BYU. Many good things happened with my new life in Utah. . .

Imagine my joy that next spring when my husband and I emerged from the Mesa Arizona temple, having just been sealed to one another, to see a group of Primary girls, almost a year older holding a sign that said: “The Blessings of Fasting: A Ring by Spring.” They had made sacrifices to take final exams early that day and were standing in record heat to greet their Primary teacher and her new husband, the man who gave her a ring that spring.

There is much to be learned by the pure faith of a child. Harnessing our childlike characteristics helps us to better make and keep our covenants. That was exactly what King Benjamin was teaching when he said, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (see Mosiah 3:19)

Our capacity to change and become a saint through the atonement is impacted by our desires to be more childlike. In our purity, we are more malleable to the influences of the Spirit resulting in the shedding of natural man tendencies while becoming more like Him. As we take His name, we feel His Spirit with us. Always.

2013 Tote Bag Reveal!

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 10:54:00 -0700

The 2013 tote bag is here! We're loving the colors, the canvas, the chevrons, and the water bottle holder

***Our 2013 event tote bag will only be available to attendees registered for the Full-Weekend or Saturday Only (not Friday Only). Each attendee will receive their bag on Saturday morning. If there are extra bags at the end of the tour in November, we will sell them online. Can’t wait for you to receive yours!

10 Great Freezer Meals

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:48:00 -0700

by LDS Living, Kaela Worthen

Fast and delicious and from our own ovens is a combination that we definitely support around here. Enjoy these 10 Freezer Meals from LDS Living!

I’ve recently become a devout convert to freezer meals. It takes roughly the same amount of time to cook and shred eight pounds of chicken as it does two, a negligable amount of additional time to chop three onions instead of one, and it means that some days, your meal prep amounts to pulling something out of the freezer, dropping it in the slow cooker, and coming home to the delicious aroma of dinner. What’s not to love?

Get the recipes at ldsliving.com.

Feed Zone For Girls

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 11:54:00 -0700

by Chrislyn Woolston, Director of TOFW

My husband is an avid cyclist and for some odd reason gets quite a thrill out of doing a 206 mile race from Logan, UT to Jackson Hole, WY each September. Oh…and did I mention it’s in one day? And no, I am not anything like him and am not sure what I would even think about on a bike for longer than an hour. But I can tell you that I love to be the “support crew.” There is something so energizing about following in the car, cheering him up the hills, and best of all, giving him the food, water, and hug he needs at the designated “FEED ZONES” along the route.

There are times when those feed zones literally save his life, and there are other times when all he needs is to switch out a water bottle and be on his way again. But, no matter what, every feed zone is vital to his finishing.

Now, why in the world am I writing about this? Well, last summer I was invited to go back to Logan, UT but this time to speak to young girls at the event, Retreat for Girls. As I was speaking to those girls, it occurred to me that they were at a “FEED ZONE,” making a quick stop to be recharged, replenished, and reassured that what was inside of them was bigger and stronger than any journey in front of them.

And at this stage of their lives, when they are learning who they really are, deciding what they want to feed their spirits with and what course to take, this retreat or “feed zone” was one of the most important places they could have stopped (especially because there were no boys there!).

I watched those girls that week, and was amazed at how GOOD they were. While speakers like Emily Freeman, Hank Smith, and Ardeth Kapp spoke to them, they were eager to take notes and open their scriptures. As music artists, such as Carmen Rasmussen and Mercy River performed, they were reminded of the importance of listening to positive music. And as they settled into their rooms at night, they listened to their counselors teach simple but profound devotionals on prayer, testimony and other critical topics for young girls.

I watched these girls serve. I watched these girls study. I watched these girls laugh. And most of all, I watched these girls grow.

And so today, I reach out to you, the mothers, grandmothers and leaders of these girls and invite you to ask yourself, “Does the girl in my life need to stop at a FEED ZONE this summer? Does she need an opportunity to step away from the world and be reminded of who she really is?” If so, I hope you’ll encourage her to join us this summer at RETREAT for GIRLS. We promise she will be well fed.

Visit www.RetreatforGirls.com for all of the registration details, and make sure you don’t wait...it sells out quickly!

P.S. Do you know a college age girl that would make a perfect COUNSELOR for these girls? If so, Retreat for Girls is accepting applications for these spots through April 1st.

***Retreat for Girls is a partner of Time Out for Women and is separate from the Time Out for Girls weekend program that is part of TOFW’s 2013 Higher Tour.

Chrislyn Woolston, director of Time Out for Women, is a mother of one energetic 2-year old girl, a wife of an avid cyclist, and an addict of chocolate covered cinnamon bears. While serving her mission in Denver Colorado, she grew a deep love for serving in and outside of the church, especially when it comes to the youth. Her current goal is to find joy in the reality that there is no such thing as “balance in motherhood” and as long as she is leaning forward, she is moving in the right direction.

VIDEO: Garage Inspiration

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 16:28:00 -0700

Meet the women who heeded Thomas S. Monson's call as a young Bishop to canvas the ward and seek the one. We seek and find Jesus in some of the most interesting places.

Everyday Shortcuts

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 00:57:00 -0700

by LDS Living Staff

If you're like us, and we're pretty sure you are, you would LOVE just a little bit of extra time in the 24 hours that makes up a day. We can't make a day any longer, but we can share some everyday tips that just might save you a few minutes.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could save up time by cutting out the little ways we waste it, or getting two things done at once the right way? Start 2013 right by implementing some tips that have been tried, tested, and proven to help save time.

Read more at ldsliving.com.

Just A Messenger

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 00:52:00 -0700

“Come to the hospital as soon as you can, Arli has broken her arm.” I had just landed at the Salt Lake airport returning from a business trip, turned on my phone to check my voicemail and was greeted by that unsettling message about my daughter. I called my wife to tell her I was on the way and was assured that Arli was going to be fine. En route, my thoughts unexpectedly shifted from my daughter’s arm to a family I knew, but hadn’t thought of in months. Initially I thought it was odd that I would think of them when I was so focused on my daughter.

It had been about a year since their son had taken his own life and as I wondered how they were doing, the request, “Will you call my parents and tell them that I love them?” came into my mind. I immediately felt it was their departed son making this request of me, and that I needed to call them, right in that moment.

The boy’s mother answered and I explained why I was calling and relayed to them the message I believed I had received from their son. I could hear the immediate emotion in her voice as she explained to me it was their son’s birthday that very day. It brought a great deal of peace to a grieving mother and father to receive a beautiful expression of love and hope from their son through me.

It was especially interesting for me because I had wondered so many times after the passing of my wife five years ago if she was pleased with how I’ve tried to raise our surviving two sons. As many times as I’ve desired an answer, I had never perceived any direct indication of how she felt.

And then this past January I spoke at a fireside for single adults. After the fireside I was approached by a woman who related a near-death experience she endured years ago, noting that since then she felt more “in-tune” with things on the other side of the veil. I listened with interest and she explained that she didn’t know why, but as she listened to me speak during the fireside, she had a distinct phrase come into her mind with the impression she needed to relay it to me. She said that my wife wanted her to tell me that, “She is so proud of you!” And there I had my answer.

Although these are remarkable experiences, I think the tender mercies they really exemplify are the simple expressions of love and admiration that can be so easy for us to give, but make such a huge difference. We just need to be open to the inspiration, and then act on it when it comes.

5 Ways to Get Your Kids Talking

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:31:00 -0700

by LDS Living, Dr. Cindy Dormer

Getting kids and teenagers to talk can sometimes be a bit tricky, and we figured we weren't the only ones who sometimes feel stumped with this. So when we saw this article from LDS Living, we knew we had to share it with you. Enjoy these great tips! Let us know if you try one or two-or if you have your own tips to share-and how it goes!

If you're like me, you want your kids to fill you in on everything that goes on in their school day. But when you ask them about it, you receive little more than, "Fine." What else can you do to get your kids to talk to you?

Read these great tips at ldsliving.com.

VIDEO: Jump In!

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 10:27:00 -0700

What do you do when your child refuses to shower? Kris Belcher has answers! And a challenge for each of us to "jump in."

Healing on the Inside

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 20:59:00 -0700

It’s been four years since I discovered the lump in my breast. I had no idea what was in store for me then. And I had no idea of the journey of learning and suffering and changing and growing that would occur after that fateful day.

Through the entire experience, I’ve learned a great deal about healing. I’ve had a lot of experience with physical healing after suffering through a radical mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, and then five surgeries to rearrange the front of my body. Physical healing takes time. No matter how young or old you are, it just takes time. And physical healing takes patience—patience with your body, with others, with time, with yourself.

Through the physical healing, I’ve learned about the importance of light, and water, and love. Getting outside and turning my face up to the sun would fill me with a healing purification that is difficult to describe. There is life in light.

Water became important as well both to restore my body’s healing properties as well as to rid my body of the toxins being used to kill the cancer. Water nourished my body. There is life in water.

I healed fastest when I let love come into my life. I still weep when I think of the senior woman in my ward bringing me a basket with things to help—soft pink socks, a lovely warm robe, little things to cheer my day—even though she had so little. I weep when I remember my sister rushing to my side when I was having an adverse reaction and holding my hands while I suffered. I weep when I think of my dear husband bringing meal after meal to my bed with a little flower or a fresh strawberry. Every day, love came to me and helped me heal. There is life in love.

What I did not know then but I understand now is that physical healing is just the start. There is an emotional and spiritual healing which follows.

This surprised me. I thought I handled everything really well. And hey, I was alive and functioning and in pretty good spirits most of the time.

But something was still “off.” I was still not right. I still thought about cancer every day. Not with fear or obsession. But it was just there—in my head—every day.

As I prayed and pondered, I realized that I needed to heal on the inside.

So this journey began. Discovering how to heal emotionally and spiritually was no easy task. Each of our journeys is so very personal and unique. It was virtually impossible to ask someone, “So . . . how did you heal on the inside?” I had to find my own way.

I discovered something very interesting, something that I actually already knew. There is healing in light. I turned to the Light, my Savior, who had been my beacon of light the entire time. I turned to him in constant, deep prayer and in constant pondering. I read of Him and thought of Him. And of course, I learned that there is spiritual life in his light.

His Living Water became even more important. I would ponder just one verse, holding it in my mind and my heart all day long. I would read a simple scripture story and learn of the suffering and triumph of others. I turned more deeply to his Word that watered my spirit. There is spiritual life in the Living Water.

And I begged for his love. My life was so very different. But through it all, I just felt that if I could feel his love—intently—then I could cope with it all and I could and would be healed. There is spiritual life given with his love.

It took about another year and a half. And one day I realized, that I was healed on the inside.

I was on my prayer walk when I realized it—I hadn’t thought about cancer in over a week. I felt settled. I felt peaceful. I felt whole again.

This is not to say that I don’t have my moments—we all do. But as I complete this one part of my journey, I realize that He has truly healed me.

When I began this experience, I received a blessing that promised me that I would be completely healed. I had no idea that meant on the inside as well as on the outside.

I have turned to light, water, and love. He offers that to each of us. He offers healing to each of us. I am living proof.

Timeline: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 2012

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 12:48:00 -0700

by LDS Living, Kate Ensign-Lewis and Kaela Worthen

2012 was a big year, the year of the "Mormon Moment." LDS Living takes a look back on the memorable events of 2012. You won't want to miss this amazing timeline!

Read about (and get top news coverage) on the big events of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its people in the year 2012. Scroll below graphic for coverage.

See the timeline at ldsliving.com.

Rearranging the Furniture

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 12:00:00 -0700

The other day I taught my seminary class about Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem. Multitudes of people rushed to greet the Savior and excitedly welcome him into Jerusalem, cutting down palm branches and crying out, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” (Matthew 21:9). Here, finally, was their King, their Son of David to rule and reign and free them from Roman oppression. “He is so powerful!” they must have exclaimed. I can just imagine some of the conversations in the crowds: “Who is that?”

“That’s Jesus, the one who can multiply bread. We will never have to worry about food again!”

“The prophet from Nazareth heals all the sick. We are free from pain! He even brings the dead back to life! Nobody can stop him!”

“He can perceive the thoughts and intents of others. Our enemies stand no chance against us with him as our King!”

Hosanna, indeed.

Only, that wasn’t why Jesus came into Jerusalem. He wasn’t that kind of Savior—to make life comfortable and stress-free and easy. He wasn’t riding in to inherit the throne over the nation of Israel and to free the Jews from the Romans, nor to multiply bread or take away discomfort from Israel. No, he was there to cause some discomfort to Israel. The very first thing he did after riding into town on the back of a mild colt was to go over to the temple and un-mildly start wreaking havoc: overturning tables and chairs, sending the money changers scurrying, driving out those that made the temple into a “den of thieves” because it should have been a “house of prayer.” (Matthew 21:13). The very people who had welcomed him into the city just moments earlier may have been some of the very people he later chased out of the temple, and some bystanders might have suddenly started to question their excitement over this Jesus of Nazareth—a sort of buyer’s remorse for their throne of David.

Sometimes, today, we are just like the ancient Jews who welcomed Jesus. We want him to come into our life and take away all that is wrong and to make everything right: Give us secure employment, a nice home, health, no fear, safety, freedom from sickness and pain. Make my life comfortable, like the Garden of Eden. Hosanna! However, Jesus isn’t that kind of a Savior.

He loves us too much to give us Eden, when he knows he can give us heaven.

When we welcome Jesus into our life—really welcome him—he does to us just what he did in the temple: He starts overturning personal tables and chairs. He says to us, “This chair of unchastity needs to be gone.” “This pedestal of pride shouldn’t be here. Get rid of it.” “This table of temper needs to be overturned.” And he starts re-arranging our lives. He starts cleansing our temples. And sometimes it hurts. And sometimes it’s fearful. And sometimes, it upsets us. We say, “Jesus, I came to you so you can show me a life of sleekness!” and Jesus responds, “If men will come unto me I will show unto them their weakness” (Ether 12:27).

It has been my experience, and it is my testimony, that the moment we let Jesus into our hearts he will begin to re-arrange our lives. He will start to re-decorate our souls. Being changed by Jesus is a natural result of following Jesus. He will throw unholy things out, bring holy things in. He will expose our own personal “den of thieves,” cleanse us, and create a “house of prayer.” Ultimately, if we let him re-arrange our furniture, he will change us into a temple fit for the Holy Ghost. He will transform our very natures. He will truly heal us. I don’t find it coincidental that after Jesus cleansed the temple—after he caused the apparent chaos—the scriptural record says that “the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them” (Matthew 21:14; emphasis added). The same will be true for us. Hosanna, indeed.

An Experiment in Kindness

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 14:39:00 -0700

by LDS Living, Susan Wolf

It's a busy time of year, that's for sure. But is there anything better we could do to truly remember the Savior? What if we thought of kindness, not as another plate of cookies to bake and deliver, but as a way of life? A way of doing the things we're already doing but with just a little more awareness and love. Can you imagine what might change?

I've often thought it would be fun to conduct human behavioral experiments. So I decided to do it - and I found out just how far kindness can go in changing people's outlook.

Read more at ldsliving.com.

Like Mary

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Even as a young girl, I was drawn to mother Mary. She felt familiar to me. Hers was a magnificent calling. Only one woman was asked to be His mother for it took only one woman to birth Him and raise Him. Pondering Mary’s calling as a youth made me wonder what my calling was. Who was I to be? I wasn’t the mother of the Savior, but I too was a chosen daughter of God. I felt that at a young age – that I was God’s daughter. I felt that my Heavenly Father knew me, and that I too had something to ‘birth,’ to create, to offer to the world as my gift. I knew that my Heavenly Father knew my full ability and measure and needed me to listen, obey and fulfill all that He had planned for me, just as He depended on Mary to do so many years ago.

In the middle of Luke chapter 2, at the pinnacle of Mary’s fulfillment of her divine calling, Mary is visited by the shepherds who had followed the star to meet the newly born king. The shepherds expounded to her the words that an angel had spoken. It must have been an overwhelming experience for Mary to hear the message from the shepherds, to know that their words came from an angel, understanding that the shepherds’ duty was to go about the land and share the good news of Christ’s birth.

Luke 2:19 “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”

I understand that. It feels familiar to me. I understand witnessing spiritual and special things, and keeping them and pondering them in my heart. I keep each experience tucked away in my heart to keep and ponder forever. In times of doubt, I recall these spiritual happenings and find peace. In times of triumph, I recall these spiritual happenings and find humility.

Just like Mary, we are all handmaids of the Lord. He needs us to listen and follow His counsel and fulfill our full measure of life to bring His greatness and glory to the world around us – here – today! Mary’s calling was great. She followed faithfully. In the Lord’s eyes our callings are also profoundly important. We are all his children, none of us greater than the other, but all of us great in His eyes.

A favorite Broadway song of mine is titled “Christmas Lullaby” by Jason Robert Brown. These lyrics capture my spirit every time I sing them:

In the eyes of heaven, my place is assured.
I carry with me Heaven’s grand design.
Gloria! Gloria! I will sing the name of the Lord,
And He will make me shine!

And I will be like Mother Mary
With the power in my veins,
To believe in all the things I’ve yet to be.
And I will be like Mother Mary
And I’ll suffer any pains,
For the future of the world inside of me.

The future of the world is in all of us. God put us here, not only to learn and grow, but also to offer something to the world as our gift. Whatever our callings may be, let us follow them willingly as Mary did, and continue to witness the miraculous spiritual happenings around us and be sure to keep them and ponder them in our hearts.

Scheduled Blessings

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:47:00 -0700

There are some things in your home people should never be allowed to see.

Like that one drawer in your kitchen filled with pens and elastic bands and kids meal toys and batteries.

Do you know the drawer I am talking about?

Another thing that I don’t like people to see when they come into my home is my calendar. I should probably divulge the secret that I do not have a “smart” calendar. Mine still hangs from a hanger on the inside of my pantry door.

It’s a disaster.

It’s filled with one million scribbled notes of things that I can’t forget. Just looking at it makes me crazy…I can’t imagine what someone else would think if they looked at it.

Each square contains a code, one word here, another word there…key words that are supposed to act as reminders of what is about to happen in my life.

Usually they make sense to me.

But one afternoon I went to a meeting and I had to bring my calendar.

In the middle of the meeting I ended up having to lay the calendar out on the table in front of me.

The date being considered was March 6.

I had written one word there as a reminder…but for the life of me I could not remember what the reminder was for.

The word was blessings.

As I spoke with the person there about my availability on that date I told him, “I think I am good for that date, I have just one thing written there but I can’t remember what it’s for.”

“What did you write?” He asked.

“Blessings.” I replied.

“Do you usually schedule blessings for yourself?” He asked incredulously.

“No,” I laughed, “I didn't schedule blessings, it’s supposed to be a reminder of something I need to do on that day. It’s like a hint. I just can’t remember what it’s for.”

“Well maybe you need blessings...” He suggested.

Actually, we really were in need of blessings.

Desperately in need.

“…and maybe you scheduled some for yourself on that day.”

“It’s a good idea.” I told him, “But I don’t schedule blessings for myself.”

A few minutes later I remembered what it was. I had two baby blessings scheduled for that Sunday. Blessings.

“I liked it better when you had scheduled blessings for yourself,” he said, “I need a calendar like that.”

As I drove home I was reminded of one of my favorite stories of Emma Smith.

Do you remember when the Prophet encouraged Emma to write out the best blessing she could think of and he would sign it on his return? A few days later the Prophet was martyred.

I love to read through the blessing Emma wrote. Seeing what she desired most helps me to understand what a remarkable woman she was. Here are some of the blessings she asked for:

“First of all that I would crave as the richest of heaven’s blessings would be wisdom from my Heavenly Father bestowed daily, so that whatever I might do or say, I could not look back at the close of the day with regret, nor neglect the performance of any act that would bring a blessing.

"I particularly desire wisdom to bring up all the children that are, or may be committed to my charge, in such a manner that they will be useful ornaments in the Kingdom of God, and in a coming day arise up and call me blessed.

"I desire …that I may wear a cheerful countenance, live to perform all the work that I covenanted to perform in the spirit-world and be a blessing to all who may in any wise need aught at my hands.”

Her requests, in and of themselves, inspire me to be better. She wanted wisdom from God that would allow her to perform acts that would bring blessings. She hoped that her children would call her blessed. She wanted to be a blessing to any who needed something from her hands.

I can’t help but focus on the word blessings within her writing.

The best blessings she could think of.

Maybe you are in need of blessings at this time. Perhaps you could set aside a little time to write down the best blessings you can think of.

What might some of those blessings be?

As you write maybe you could remember one of my favorite promises from the Lord, “In blessing, I will bless thee…” (Genesis 22:17)

2012 Time Out for Women and LDS Living Service Project Feeds 23,000

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 09:27:00 -0700

by LDS Living, Erin Jones

23,000 people fed.
That's right.
A big thanks to LDS Living for sponsoring our 2012 service project, and a HUGE thanks to YOU for making it happen, one city and one meal at a time.

Women who paired with Time Out for Women and LDS Living in 2012 made a significant difference to help the hungry.

This year’s Time Out for Women service project, which was sponsored by LDS Living, encouraged participating women to bring specific food items to the conference that could be included in family meals. Over 4,000 women participated in the service project during the course of the 2012 “Seek the Good” tour, and even more women donated food to make complete meals for families of four.

Read more about the Good Meal Project here.

VIDEO: A Better Day Coming

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 10:49:00 -0700

TOFW presenter Chris Williams explains how his story, one most of us would see as a complete tragedy, is also a story of hope.

Knowing What to Keep

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 00:00:00 -0700

When I was little, my parents had a big afghan that my grandmother had made. Dyed with the dreary grays and deep blues of a cloudy sky at dusk, its heavy wool was scratchy against my skin – more so because I was allergic to wool. I knew my father would always keep it because it reminded him of his mother, from whom he’d moved far away, and because he valued things people made. I wonder how many times my mother refolded and replaced it on the back of the gray living room couch after someone finished a nap or a book or a chat by the fire.

When my parents went to friends’ houses for dinner, the afghan came along. I would fall asleep while the grownups talked, and when it was time to go my father would wrap me up in it and carry me out to the car. Not wanting to be told I was too big to be carried, I endured the tangle of wool that turned my arms all red and hot, and I pretended not to wake up. I liked being carried. It felt good to know my parents had friends who liked them. It felt good to be taken along.

The world my parents wrapped around me then was warm and ultimately safe, and I felt woven into it by strong arms and soft words spoken when I was almost sleeping. But the wool they tried to plait into a life was often crude and hard, and the needles that fashioned it clashed as they worked. I struggled against the prickliness of that childhood – times my mother cried in her room, or my father raged, or my grandparents failed; the times I cried, or raged, or failed. Yet when I look back through the tangled yarn, I see light coming through the strands.

Looking back, I feel blessed. It is not that I have forgotten the sadness. It is just that the small kindnesses matter more and more. I remember dad showing me a garter snake in the garden and taking me on dates for ice cream even when we really had little to say. I remember the effort he made to be home for my birthday, and the time he apologized. I remember the comforting sound of mom running the vacuum on Saturday mornings while I was still in bed, and the taste of her homemade fudge. I remember her making my Halloween costume, and tucking me in, and I remember her smile. Such small things. And in their smallness I gather hope. I can do small things, too.

I found the afghan when I was cleaning out the house after my father’s death, and I brought it home with me. It was coming apart in long, gaping fissures that didn’t seem worth repairing: the wool was still rough and scratchy and the colors still dull. Nobody really wanted it. We can buy softer blankets at Walmart. Not knowing what else to do, I finally threw it away. But in my mind, if nowhere else, the warmth and the weaving endure – invested with the patient, stoic rhythm of soft hands working against the irritability of the yarn, heavy with my father's tenderness, and folded up in my mother's enduring strength.

Top Cleaning Tips

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 00:02:00 -0700

by LDS Living, Kaela Worthen

Anyone else wishing you were getting a maid for Christmas?
Since none of us probably are, here are some SMART cleaning tips from LDS Living. Any tips of your own you could share?

The holidays mean house guests, and house guests mean you need a clean house – and that can be a lot of stress. Use some of these great cleaning tips to make the holidays go just a little smoother.

Click here to read more.

VIDEO: Jenny Oaks Baker's Silent Night

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 16:57:00 -0700

It's that time of year to dust off the jingle bells and bring out the tree! Kick off your holiday season with this LOVELY new Jenny Oaks Baker music video.

The Gratitude List

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 12:19:00 -0700

‘Tis the season for gratitude lists. Each November, as Thanksgiving approaches, my Facebook feed fills with them. I know parents who encourage their children to give thanks by posting butcher paper on the wall for them to draw on or a “gratitude tree” on the door with leaves that enumerate their blessings. A few kernels of corn beside their plates will serve as a reminder to many on Thanksgiving to stop and get specific about what they’re celebrating this year.

I love these traditions. I love that there’s a whole holiday devoted to inviting us to stop and think for a minute about what really matters before we rush headlong into Noel bedlam. But it’s always a little hard for me to make a gratitude list.

This is not because I lack blessings, heaven knows. I think maybe it’s because being thankful is something I feel really, really deeply about. Flippancy doesn’t really work here, and once I discard all the cutesy answers that might seem fun on Facebook, my list seems almost embarrassingly simple and repetitive. The things I’m most grateful for are the same ones that will invariably show up first on even the three-year-old’s section of the butcher paper. I’m grateful for the people I love. Ask me any day, and the answer will be the same. I’m grateful for my family, earthly and heavenly, every single day of my life. First and last. Every. Single. Day.

At a recent family reunion, we had a chance to hear memories of my great-grandfather voiced by his last remaining grandchildren, of whom there are ten (from an original fifty), ranging in age from a remarkably spry 79 to an unbelievably spry 99. A chapel full of descendants, representing only a small percentage of those eligible to be there, awoke in my heart an unbounded gratitude for the opportunity to belong to these good people in some way. And that uncovered a bright chain of blessings going clear back to the basic plan of salvation our Father laid out for us—that we were not merely His creations but His family, linked to each other in ways that transcend anything mortality can throw at us. The most powerful Being in the universe holds in His heart for each one of us the concern of a tender parent. Whether life is weighing me down or letting me fly on any particular day seems immaterial in the face of such a truth.

So—yes. I’m thankful for Hershey’s Kisses in all of their holiday flavors and free layaway and Black Friday sales. I’m thankful for an extra day of fall sneaking in between what felt like winter, and for soup and sweaters and apples and fireplaces, but what I’m really thankful for isn’t going on a list because it’s just one item, lodged firmly in my heart, unchanging from day to day, year to year, and eternity to eternity. It’s the truth that I have a Father who has a plan for me. Everything else on the list is mine because of that.

VIDEO: True Beauty

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 14:35:00 -0700

Carmen Rasmussen, Time Out for Girls presenter and former American Idol contestant, takes off her make-up and talks about Hollywood's standard of beauty and why we should rethink it.

Beginning of Better Days Book Club Contest Winner!

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 03:06:00 -0700

We are so excited to announce the WINNER of our Beginning of Better Days Book Club Contest! This group of ladies from Gilbert, AZ put together a magazine to share with us the three themes from the book, The Beginning of Better Days, that were most important to them. Below are a few excerpts from the AMAZING project they put together. Congratulations!

The Goodness in a Giggle

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I love to laugh. I’m borrowing that line from Ed Wynn and Dick Van Dyke (Uncle Albert and Bert) in “Mary Poppins.” I can hear their laughter right this minute in my mind, and it makes me smile out loud.

Laughter feels like a bridge, or glue, or an oasis, or magic. It can break down walls, melt hearts, turn a frowny face upside down, and create happiness. It really IS “the best medicine.” And it’s free!

The kind of laughter I’m talking about is when something is genuinely funny, and people laugh together in a way that doesn’t hurt anybody and isn’t “loud laughter.” I think the distinction is not about volume (or noise level), but about quality. It’s the difference in why you’re laughing, and what you’re laughing at. It’s a difference you can feel.

President Hinckley used to make us laugh hard and happily. One experience happened in the Tabernacle in the early 90’s (1990’s, not 1890’s, OK?). It was a Sunday morning and it was very, very WARM in the Tabernacle. Most of us were fanning ourselves with the programs which had been handed out before the Tabernacle Choir broadcast right before the Sunday morning session of General Conference.

President Hinckley was conducting, and at some point he said something like, “We know it’s very warm in here, and that most of you are hot.” He had that twinkle in his eye that let you know something funny was on its way. “But you’re not as hot as you’re going to be if you don’t repent!”

I don’t remember if those were his exact words, but the place erupted in happy laughter, and it felt and sounded so good! Good humor is such a gift.

Some things aren’t funny at all. I know that. But there are times when laughter can be therapeutic, when it can make “all the difference.” As we learn from Ecclesiastes 3:4, there is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”

I learned this as a nurse. There were many times to weep, but there were also times to laugh. I found that humor and laughter often have a place in the healing process. (And, in keeping with nursing terms, laughter is infectious! … contagious!).

Studies have shown (picture someone in a white lab coat saying this) that laughter has many health benefits – it actually causes physical changes in the body. Among these benefits are an increase in energy and a decrease in pain and the harmful effects of stress. And of course there are all those endorphins.

Sharing laughter with others increases happiness and closeness. It can “break the ice” and strengthen relationships. Laughing with others is more powerful than laughing alone.

Can you think of a time recently when you laughed “until you cried” with someone, and it felt so good? Maybe you shared a funny cartoon or story or joke or personal experience.

In our family there are funny things which we can recall by saying just one word or phrase, and we all laugh.
“It’s either a skunk or a weasel!”
“Now I don’t know any of the details.”
“That’s my specialty.”

Right now I’m laughing by myself – computers don’t have that capacity.

I miss the fun I used to have with my parents, and the laughter we shared. Not long after my father passed away, I had to fly somewhere to give a talk. One of my younger sisters gave me a small box to take with me, asking me to be sure to bring it back to her. Inside she had put some of her favorite cartoons – a sweet way to cheer me up when it was mostly a time to weep.

One thing I love about TOFW is the chance to weep and laugh with all of the wonderful presenters, and with all of you whom I’ve met during the years. Thank you! I hope we can laugh in Heaven. If not, I’m in big trouble!

I hope today you’ll find time to laugh, and to share it with someone else.

VIDEO: What Are YOU Waiting For?

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 06:19:00 -0600

TOFW presenter, Laurel Christensen, tells the story of what happens when you take 9 year-old boys to dinner and the quirky questions they ask.

Salt Lake Live Stream!

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 17:47:00 -0600

Time Out for Women 2012 Tour


Remember the first time you attended TOFW? You felt empowered, uplifted, and energized. You left knowing yourself and feeling your purpose in the world just a little bit more clearly. We want EVERY WOMAN in EVERY CORNER OF THE WORLD to have that experience. We may not be able to physically take a TOFW event to everyone, but now, for the first time ever, we can share it with them virtually. And YOU CAN HELP!

VIDEO: Mom's Homeland

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 17:03:00 -0600

Dave Kimball of Jericho Road talks about visiting a small town in Germany where his mother grew up and how the choices we make can ensure that-regardless of what may be happening on our lives-all is well.

Dave Says...

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 00:50:00 -0600

by LDS Living, Dave Ramsay

Some people are known for giving great advice. Dave Ramsay is one of those people, and he happens to write a weekly post for LDS Living in a question and answer format! From student loan debt, to medical bills, to babies and down payments, Dave has some solid suggestions about financial peace. Here are a handful of his most recent posts. Be sure to check back with LDS Living to see Dave's latest tips!

Dave Says: Living Without Eating Out

Dave Says: Pay Off Debt vs. Down Payment

Dave Says: First the Baby, or the Debt?

Dave Says: Preparing for Life Beyond College

Watching Over Your Heart

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:00:00 -0600

I’m normally the one who jokes around and finds the humor during difficult situations. But recently I experienced a challenge in which I did very little laughing and a whole lot of weeping. I was hospitalized twice in one month with a systemic staph infection. The staph lodged itself in my backside which prevented me from moving much. Man, talk about pain in the bum!

I was in constant and severe pain for weeks, and no medication sufficiently alleviated my agony. I hurt so badly for so long that I began to wonder if I’d ever heal. There were so many medical tests, so many doctors, and so much pain that I didn’t think I could handle one more second of it all.

My prayers were a continual, “Please, please help me!”

One night, when I was in tremendous pain, I lay on my hospital bed and wept. I was sweating like I was running a marathon, and it was hard to breathe. When I pushed the nurse’s call button, no one came in my room to assist me and I pled with Father in Heaven for help.

In walked James, my husband, who immediately got someone in to administer some pain medication. My prayer had been answered.

But the trouble wasn’t over. When the nurse’s aid came in to take my vitals, I knew something was wrong. All of a sudden, the whole cardiac team was in my room. I had a gazillion leads placed on my chest and monitors displaying my heart activity. The crash cart was even there by my bed. I felt like I was in some TV medical drama. If I wasn't blind, I would have looked around for George Clooney.

When the doctor came in, he informed me that while my heart rate was usually in the 90s, it was now at 240 and showed no signs of slowing. He was going to administer some medication that would slow down and possibly stop my heart so that they could restart it to pump at a normal level.

Two nurses each held a syringe, ready to put into my IV. I truly wondered if I was going to die. If they stopped my heart, would it start again?

Before giving the order to administer the medication, the doctor asked me to try a certain muscle contraction which can sometimes slow down the heart. I was able to follow his instructions, and my heart immediately slowed to a normal rate. There was an audible sigh of relief in my room from the whole medical team, but no one was as relieved as I was.

I was kept on monitors, and, at one point that evening, a nurse came in and introduced herself to me, saying, “I’ll be the one watching over your heart tonight.”

I almost cried at her words. She was the one monitoring my heart activity, but the Spirit let me know who was really watching over my heart that night. And every night. Heavenly Father was completely aware of my condition and watching over me.

Our circumstances are different. Our pains, trials, worries, sorrows, and other personal struggles may not be the same. But, there is one thing each of us can be assured of. You and I have a Father who loves and knows us personally. He knows how much we hurt. He knows our longings and hears our desperate prayers. He may not always deliver us from the pain and heartbreak, but he always helps us through it.

When it feels like your heart is breaking, I invite you to turn to him again and again to feel the peace and love you need. There is no other source for lasting healing.

VIDEO: What Suit Are YOU Wearing?

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 16:11:00 -0600

At a fireside for the BYU Spirit Squad, Sheri Dew made one request: to meet the men behind the Cosmo suit. What she learned surprised her. So we ask you, what suit are YOU wearing?

To Mormons: Why Relief Society Should Run for President

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by LDS Living, Chrisy Ross

As soon as we saw this, we knew we HAD to share it with you! As election season heats up, take a quick break to enjoy the thoughts of Chrisy Ross, a non-Mormon living among Mormons, as she explains why her write-in vote just might be the Relief Society.

We’ve yet to see a woman hold the office of president or vice president, and the possibility of witnessing that event in my lifetime is exciting. I’m fortunate to have grown up with examples of strong, intelligent, compassionate, productive women. As an adult, I have girlfriends in a variety of age groups who model tremendous character. And, over the years I’ve seen groups of women come together to accomplish what, to me, seems like the impossible.

So, this election year, I’m considering a write-in candidate: Relief Society.

When GPS Doesn't Cut It

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 13:00:00 -0600

In April of 2012, my son and I drove 1900 miles all over England, Wales, Ireland, the Isle of Man, and Scotland, “searching,” as my son Daniel put it, “for dead people.” We were looking for the places where our ancestors were born, lived, worked, and died.

One of the highlights of our journey was finding where our great-great grandfather, Edward Ogden, and his wife, Sarah, met the missionaries and first heard their message. It was in the Angel Inn that the Ogdens owned and operated that the missionaries preached, and the light of the restored gospel flooded their inn and their souls.

Daniel and I located that very old building that is still standing in Mottram in Longdendale. We also visited the parish church in Mottram, called St. Michael and All Angels, and while taking photos we noticed the large sign in front of the old church. The poster declares, “God gives you better direction than Sat-Nav” (the British nickname for a GPS, from the name “Satellite Navigation”).

What a clever and true statement! God does indeed give better direction than Sat-Nav. We children of God are wise to follow Heaven’s direction; we will do much better reaching our eternal destination if guided by, and constantly using, the divine system God has set up for us—a direction system that’s not merely global, but universal. Prayer, scriptures, prophets, principles, ordinances, service, and all other parts and systems of the gospel of Jesus Christ will guide us safely through the hazardous roads of life.

It reminded me of a curious object in the middle of the Brigham Young University campus in Provo, Utah, USA that I noticed just last year. It is a sundial, and it features a very thought-provoking inscription carved into its side: “I GET MY LIGHT FROM GOD.”

In an increasingly dark world, where the prince of darkness seems to be succeeding in winning over more and more souls to the “dark side”—causing others to follow his example of corrupting, distorting, or simply ignoring the light and truth that Heaven emanates, we must do as the sundial does, and “get our light from God.” Our Heavenly Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are constantly broadcasting light throughout the universe. There is so much light available to us, shining through the darkness, but we have to seek it. To live forever in such brilliant light as They do, we must constantly absorb all we can, our light growing brighter and brighter until the perfect day. Our light—God’s light—will help dispel the darkness around us, and help rescue others from the thick mists of darkness that obscure our vision of eternity.

So God tells us, “I will give you better direction than Sat-Nav, or GPS,” and each of us in turn can accept Heaven’s guidance by living by the slogan, “I get my light from God.” His direction is light.

Elevate Your Life

Thu, 04 Oct 2012 11:12:00 -0600

by Chrislyn Woolston

During the last year, as I’ve settled into my new role as director of Time Out for Women, I’ve figured out many things and mastered a few. I’ve learned how to pack a suitcase in under five minutes while preparing my sweet two-year-old and husband for their fun weekend without the Mom. I’ve discovered that I am a genius at putting on the right amount of makeup so I’m not shiny from the stage. And I’ve learned how to tell anyone on an airplane about Time Out for Women in less than a minute—or at least I thought I had that one in the bag until my flight to Texas. . . .

That was when I sat next to a man who asked the question: What is Time Out for Women, really? It was that really that threw me. I looked at him and found myself at a loss for words. Somehow, my elevator speech, carefully developed over the years, couldn’t quite capture the real essence of TOFW. Sure, we are a room full of 2500 good . . . no, great women. We come from around the world to share an inspirational weekend and take a unique “time out” from our busy lives. We have fun with our friends, mothers, and sisters, and we laugh, cry, and bond. But is this what TOFW really is?

I left that flight thinking about all of the faithful women who were about to fill those seats in Texas that weekend. I realized that in order to describe TOFW really, we have to describe the women of TOFW.

We know you because we are you. We know you’re one in a million and yet you’re part of the millions. We know you dream big and feel deeply and serve with all your heart. We know you love God. We know that the TOFW experience is not unique just because of what we have to offer from the stage. It is unique because of you. We also know that you don’t need TOFW to do the things you’re already doing.

But maybe, just like us, you find strength in music, humor, service, and thoughtful gospel insights that elevate your spirit and recharge your soul and send you back into the world a better woman. And that’s when the 2013 theme “HIGHER” came to us. When the Lord says in Isaiah 55:9, “So are my ways higher than your ways,” He’s not chastising us for not being more. He’s inviting us to move beyond what we have known and to join Him in a higher life.

It’s a plea to the woman who needs to rediscover herself and THINK HIGHER about her life, her role as a woman of God, and her future. It’s an invitation to all of us to BELIEVE HIGHER as we face the challenges that will require all of our faith and all of our hearts. It’s an injunction to those of us choosing every day between good, better, and best to LIVE HIGHER and make God’s ways our own.

And that is what Time Out for Women is, really.

It’s YOU… Higher.

We can’t wait to experience Time Out for Women with you in 2013 as we embark on this Higher adventure together! And I promise, I won’t be at a loss for words again.

Really.

Chrislyn Woolston

Chrislyn Woolston has been the proud mom to Emma since July 2010 and the enthusiastic Director of Time Out for Women since August 2011. She loves traveling, organizing a party and will do anything for pumpkin bread. She's an avid BYU fan and her husband is decidedly a UTE. The rivalry in their home keeps things alive and fun.

VIDEO: 25 Women and 1 Tube of Toothpaste

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 10:49:00 -0600

Sometimes seeking the good is as simple as being grateful for shoes and toothpaste. Name one good thing, big or small, in your life right now.

VIDEO: Twenty Rejection Letters and a Bestseller

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 13:15:00 -0600

Think back on the moments in your life that you might consider failures. What good came of those moments? What lessons did you learn? How did they change you?

Chasing A Better Dream

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 00:00:00 -0600

It was after the TOFW event in Phoenix last year. I had just given my “The Faith Experiment” talk and was in such a good place.

I was approaching my year mark of the beginning of my “choose to become” journey and working to turn my life into exactly what I thought I had always wanted. I was chasing a dream.

Someone at the event had put a little note in my scriptures. It didn’t say anything to me personally. It wasn’t signed. All it had was this anonymous quote:

“Sometimes on your way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.” –Unknown

I thought it was a sweet quote but I couldn’t imagine finding a better dream than the one I was living at the time.

But, that’s exactly what happened.

Sometimes, in the midst of chasing what we thought we always wanted, we take a little turn on our journey (or rather, the journey takes a little turn on us) and we DO find something better. And, the truth is, we would have never found the “new dream” if we hadn’t been willing to try the “first dream”.

I’ve learned a few important things in this journey of chasing a dream:

        1.) Dreams are big. That’s what makes them dreams.
        2.) Part of finding a “new dream” is being okay with the bumps and failures along the way
        of chasing your original dream.

Can I be personal for a minute?

Some of you know I’ve been on a weight loss journey for the past 18 months. Earlier this summer, I had to acknowledge I wasn’t where I was “supposed” to be and honestly, I had been carrying a bit of shame about that for the last year. So, one week this past July, I returned to Fitness Ridge in St. George, UT (the place the journey had begun for me).

I walked in and the trainer who changed my life last time was there waiting for me.
It was so good to see her and she was proud of how far I had come.
And was ready for me Monday afternoon in a personal training session I set up.

"So, tell me where your head is at?" she asked.
And I couldn't contain the tears.

The stirrings had started the night before and I had felt them all morning...on the hike...during the workout. I didn't know how to articulate what I was experiencing...until I started talking.

"When I was here last time, I was afraid of all the things I knew I couldn't do...but now...I think I'm afraid of all the things I know I can."

I don't know how to explain it and I don't expect it to make any sense but I knew that the life that I've known, even the "new one" of the previous 18 months, was comfortable and "good enough". It's a world I have understood and felt safe in. It's a world that didn't really need to change anymore.

Except that I still wanted it to change.

I had a “new dream” for my life and I wanted to find it.

And I found it during a hike that week. It’s called “Stop Sign” and it starts at the base of Snow Canyon and goes all the way to the top. It’s 4+ miles all up hill (the last part being dramatically uphill).

I thought about all that had led me to that place and all that I had done in the previous 18 months.

I realized that I had been so caught up in my original "goal date" and so wrapped in the shame of not hitting it, that I had never really celebrated all that I had accomplished.
I felt sad about that. And thought of all that I HAD accomplished on this “dream journey”. I focused on all the good.

As I was approaching the last stretch, I looked down at my watch and realized that if I could make it to the top in 2 minutes, I would shave FORTY MINUTES off my time from 18 months prior.
FORTY MINUTES.
And since I turned 40 this year, that seemed most appropriate.

In that very moment, Hilary Weeks’ "Past the Point" came on my iPod.
Oh, the timing of hearing that song of all songs!
And so I booked it.
I actually started running.
After walking an incline for 4+ miles,
After being seriously exhausted reflecting on the last 18 months.

After seriously considering the 6 months that lie ahead of me.

I ran right up to that stop sign with not a second to spare, without anyone seeing or being there to applaud.
It was just me.
I made my goal.
Forty minutes faster than 18 months prior.
And I cried like a baby.
The wailing kind of crying.
I had spent the last 18 months doing all the things I knew I couldn't do.
I hadn't been perfect but I have kept at it.
I had believed.
I had become an optimist.
I had asked for bread when I had previously been content with stones.
I had learned to trust and learned to love.
It's been a remarkably sweet and significant and sacred journey.

And, that morning, as I reached the top, reflecting on the past was only for a moment because in the moment I touched the sign, I realized the most important thing...

When you embark on a journey chasing a dream, there is a risk in believing there is some monumental “finish line”—as if you’ll arrive at a place and the journey will be over. But, the truth is, there is always a dream to chase. There is always the hope that things can be even better than they are.

Do you have a dream for your life?

Do you feel like you’ve failed at an attempt to chase something you’ve always wanted?

As cliché as it sounds, the experience, the becoming, the dreaming…it really all exists in the journey of the dream, not in the destination of arriving at it.

In many ways, there is no “finish line” when you’re chasing a dream. There are simply a series of starts and stops…a path filled with places where you can turn corners and make adjustments. The key is to BELIEVE you can have the life you were meant to live and then have the COURAGE to live it.

Dreaming something more for your life might not be clean and perfect or follow the timeline you have in your head; but keep going. Keep chasing your dream. Because it really is true...”Sometimes on your way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.”

And who doesn’t want something better?

Different but the Same

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 00:00:00 -0600

On a trip to Utah last fall, I made a quick stop into Café Rio. Until recently, we did not have Café Rio on the east coast, so taking a trip to Utah not only meant mountains, Temple Square, and ultra-nice people everywhere, but it also meant at least one delicious pilgrimage to dive my face into a gorgeous, heaping bowl of cilantro-ranch-dressing smothered pork salad. Mm-mmm.

But I digress.

I walked into Café Rio. I stood in a long lunch hour line. A girl about my age was in front of me. She had straight blonde hair like mine. Skinny jeans and knee high brown boots like mine. A cute handbag like mine. She began to place her order: “A pork salad please….with shredded lettuce….everything but guacamole…to go…just water...thank you.” Then it was my turn: “A pork salad please…with shredded lettuce…everything but guacamole…to go…just water…thank you.”

No, I was not copying her – that is my same order every single time, as it probably is hers. I just had to laugh. Usually I have a solid strong sense of individual worth, but in that moment in line at Café Rio, I felt like nothing more than a carbon copy of every other knee high boot wearing blonde girl in Utah Valley.

You see, I have this little problem. I LOVE being different. My sense of individual worth was founded on the basic truth that I was individually different from nearly everyone around me in my youth. I have lived the majority of my life on the east coast. My religion has made me a minority in almost all of my social dealings. In high school, I was one of a small handful of LDS students. At work I was usually the only member. In our community, my family was one of few Mormon families with which anyone had come in contact. To some, this may sound hard, but to others, it sounds perfect. For my spirit, it was the perfect atmosphere for me to truly learn and accept the gospel that had been taught to me by my parents. In those pivotal teenage years when we must start to stand for what we believe, I found strength in standing alone. My testimony grew because it was mine and it was unique from all of my peers.

At 17, when I moved to Utah to attend BYU, my testimony was actually shaken rather than strengthened. It was like my Café Rio experience times a ka-trillion. Everywhere I turned there was a girl that looked like me, dressed like me, sang like me, believed like me, prayed like me, had the same countenance as me. So I doubted. How could I feel special and individual if everyone else was special and individual just like me?

I have pondered this question and I have studied and learned an essential truth. Individual worth is measured by our Creator, not by our peers. Heavenly Father knows our worth, and He knows what makes us different from all of His other children. He is delighted that we are different. But He is also delighted that we are the same. We were all created in His image. If we choose to follow Him, we will all be like Him. We will believe like Him, look like him, have a countenance like Him. When I look at it from His point of view, I am not bothered. Instead, I am honored that I look and feel and think and pray like so many other women in the world. I am honored that there are so many of us all over the world that claim our testimonies of Jesus Christ as the similarity that ties us together.

Whether we look the same on the outside or not, we feel the same as we speak of Christ. This must make our Heavenly Father so profoundly pleased with us, His children. And though I LOVE being different, I have now found that I also LOVE being the same.

Getting "Real" About Parenting

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:00:00 -0600

“You’re not my real Dad!”

Those were the words I feared most.

As a recent widower with two sons, who was considering marrying a widow named Mikkel with two children of her own, I wondered if I was up to all the potential challenges of blending two families together. Her daughter Arli was just two years old, and Parker was only four, and I was told that they would probably think of me as their dad from day one. But I had a six year old son and a fourteen year old son, both with plenty of memories of how things “used to be” before they were so quickly and dramatically altered with the sudden passing of their mother.

I probably picked that phrase up from a movie where some child lashed out at a stepparent in frustration, but my fear of the phrase developed on its own as I considered the difficulties Mikkel and I might face. So I began praying and pondering what I could do at the beginning of the marriage to make the transition as smooth as possible. And hopefully avoid the dreaded words.

One day I was struck by the thought that I should change one word in the statement and then ponder the new meaning.

“You’re not my only Dad.”

My perspective was widened as I considered that I was just one of many fathers that my children have, and I began to make a list. First they have their Heavenly Father. He knows them perfectly and has been their father much longer than I have.

Parker and Arli have Rusty, their father who succumbed to cancer, and my sons have their mother, Michelle, who is also in Heaven. I believe these parents are as interested and involved in their lives as they possibly can be.

When we’re baptized we become children of Jesus Christ, and he becomes yet another father for us.

As I further considered the grandparents and great-grandparents, and great-great-grandparents that would be equally interested in their children, I realized that I had a lot of help available to me.

I decided to share this perspective with my children right after the wedding, telling each of them individually how blessed they are to have not one, but many parents. We talked about each one and the different roles that they play in their lives. Together, all of these parents act together to love them, guide them and bless their lives.

And when I’m not sure what to do or how to do it, especially when some type of correction is necessary, I confidently consult with their Heavenly Father, knowing he will have the answer. I go to my children and tell them that “all of the fathers are united” in what I’m asking them to do.

The words I feared and worried about ended up teaching me a powerful lesson. I am not their only father. What a relief it is to know that I’m never alone in my parenting. None of us are, really. We are always surrounded by help.

Chris Williams is currently a presenter on the TOFW 2012 Tour where he shares his story of loss, forgiveness, and healing. His book, Let It Go, was released this summer and is the TOFW SEPTEMBER BOOK OF THE MONTH. See the BOOK CLUB page for a 25% discount.

You can also watch more about Chris Williams thru his interview with Glenn Beck.

VIDEO: The Good News of a Sinking Ship

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:28:00 -0600

There are a few life situations where you know, almost immediately, that you're in trouble. Like if you looked down and saw holes in your boat. But TOFW presenter, James Ferrell, explains how getting holes in our boat just might be one of the best things that ever happens to us.

No Need to Explain...

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 10:13:00 -0600

This summer, I’ve had a frustrating problem.

Garden slugs.

Those slimy, track-leaving, plant-wreckers have been ruining my flowers. So I drove to a local garden shop, seeking professional advice on how to eradicate them.

The specialist just happened to know that I have a small dog and voiced sincere concern about my pet’s safety around slug bait.

“Do you know what you need?” she stated with confidence. “Beer.”

“Beer?” I questioned.

“Absolutely. Slugs love it. They’re drawn to it. Simply plant open, deep dishes of beer in your flowerbeds and those pesky slugs will fall into them and drown.

“Really?” I said hesitantly.

“Try it. You’ll see.”

Since the other sales associate strongly agreed, I decided to use this unorthodox advice. So on my way home from the temple the following morning, I stopped at the local 7-11 to buy some beer for my slugs. I’ll admit, it felt weird.

While handing that can to the cashier to scan, I couldn’t help but imagine how I would feel if my neighbor, my bishop, or a friend had just casually strolled in and wanted to chat.

“I have a ‘beer prescription’ from the plant lady, “ I’d be tempted to tell them.

“I’m not buying this beer to drink--only to destroy,” I would say.

All the way home, I pondered this seemingly harmless scenario. After all, my conscience was clear.

But something about it seemed all-too-familiar – like that sketchy PG-13 movie I felt I needed to justify seeing to my family, those song lyrics my teens sometimes tell me they don’t actually hear, the gossip commonly repeated with the well-known phrase, “Now, don’t tell anyone BUT…”

Buying beer for slugs IS harmless, but I want to live my life in such a way that no explanations are necessary. Maybe that’s naïve, but at least I want to try.

You should know that the beer—to date—has attracted NO slugs.

Just my dog, Lucy.

Now I need some solid advice regarding an alcohol recovery program for dogs.

Anyone?

VIDEO: The Swimsuit Question

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 10:49:00 -0600

There are 543 questions in the Book of Mormon. TOFW presenter, John Hilton, unpacks one of them as he tells the story of the swimsuit question and the lesson it holds for each of us.

Planning is Half the Battle

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:05:00 -0600

by LDS Living

What if we told you that we'd found a one-stop shop of AWESOME Family Home Evening resources? Well, we have. And we want to share them with YOU!

LDS Living has HUNDREDS of pre-planned lessons on HUNDREDS of topics-so you can meet any need your family has. These lessons come fully equipped with ideas for songs, activities and games, conference talks, and refreshment recipes!

For stress-free planning and Monday night goodness, click here.

Wal-Mart Parking Lot Epiphany

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 13:47:00 -0600

I learned a life lesson at Walmart today. (I actually learn life lessons there often, which might seem strange to some people.)

I pulled up in the parking lot, parked my car, and saw that in the spot next to me was an elderly man sitting in a camping chair behind his car. He had the back hatch up to provide shade and held his cup of java in one hand and his crossword puzzle in the other. I teased him that his wife must be taking a looooong time to shop, and he replied, “Well, this lets her enjoy herself.” When I came back out, he helped me load my groceries into my car, and then I said, “Wow, she’s still shopping!” And his reply made me think. “Well,” he said, “she has a lot of time on her hands, just like a lot of us.”

I waved goodbye and drove off thinking, Wow. I can’t remember the last time I encountered someone who had a lot of time on their hands.

I thought about what my senior years would be like and chuckled. I’m a workaholic, so my days will be crammed full of temple work, family history work, grandchildren, writing, traveling, and anything else I can squeeze in. And the thought made me feel grateful.

I felt thankful for a church that offers us many avenues of service and teaches us to do many good things of our own free will. I see many seniors who are busily serving missions, serving in the temple, and serving in their wards. They are wonderful, productive people.

And yet . . . it’s probably good to slow down sometimes. I’ve been thinking about how my summer has slowed down and how good it feels to catch my breath a bit. I find myself breathing deeper, looking at the blue sky and the gorgeous flowers. I find myself reading books and sitting in the shade.

I have a little bit of time on my hands. And it’s nice.

I guess there’s room for both. Too much time spent on crossword puzzles is a waste and too much time running around like a crazy woman is bad for our health. So somewhere in the middle is best, with times of sprinting and doing much good, and times of walking slowly and looking at the sky and praying prayers of thanks. There’s time for all of it.

So here’s hoping that you’re having both this summer: the mad dash to the swimming pool with all the kids and then some slow time sitting in a chair watching them play; the monumental effort to get everyone to church all fully dressed and then some quiet moments during the sacrament to ponder the eternities; the packing and planning for the family summer trip followed by those wonderful minutes with the entire family gathered around the campfire.

Time—fast or slow—is a gift from God. We can treasure its flow in our lives.

For now, I’m going to go read my Ensign. I’ve got just a little bit of time on my hands.

VIDEO: Phone Call Serenade

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 12:16:00 -0600

Tender mercies come in various shapes and sizes. Macy Robison describes how she discovered two of them, one on a road trip and one from a surprise phone call serenade.

Back-to-School Ideas

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 12:25:00 -0600

by LDS Living, Ashley Evanson

It's that time of year again! It's the season of newly sharpened pencils and crisp white sheets of notebook paper. While you're squeezing out the last few drops of summer and getting ready for school to start, you might be looking for a fun way to celebrate that first day back. Here are some great ideas from our friends at LDS Living to help everyone get excited for a fresh start. Enjoy!

It's back to school time! Here are some fun treats, parties, and activities you can do to help your kids get ready for school.

Read more here.

BOOK CLUB CONTEST!

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 12:14:00 -0600

We were asked if the TOFW ladies would be interested in a BOOK with some special insights from SHERI DEW and VIRGINIA PEARCE.

Well, of course!

Next question: would the TOFW ladies be excited about book club CONTEST in connection with this book?

Yes, most definitely, YES.

And then the wheels started turning. We decided that if we were going run this fantastic contest, that it would need a really oustanding, YOU'RE-NOT-GOING-TO-BELIEVE-THIS kind of prize. Like a PERSONAL VISIT from Sheri Dew and Virginia Pearce to the winning book club.

So that's what we did! It's an incredible book that offers an incredible experience. And you just might win an incredible prize.

So watch this video to see what's in store when women gather to discuss the teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, and then check out http://tofw.com/club for more details on how to enter.

WORDS. Just How Powerful Are They?

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 02:56:00 -0600

The apostle Peter knew what he was talking about when he said, "For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile."

In other words...

Don't gossip.

Be kind.

Say nice things.

Speak uplifting words (to others...and yourself.)

Words are extremely powerful - they can demean or fortify, humiliate or strengthen, persuade or discourage. Paul believed if we used kind, caring, compassionate, encouraging words we will love life. We will see good days.

I believe that too.

That is a powerful promise.

Recently I put the power of speaking kindly to the test - in a bit of an unorthodox way.

I bought two plants.

Same kind of plants. Same type of pots. Both from the same greenhouse.

I decorated one of the pots with stickers. I spelled L.O.V.E. on the side. I made the pot look pretty. The other pot didn't received such lovely treatment. It remained plain.

I set both pots on the kitchen window sill. Four or five times each day, I would pick up the "LOVE" plant and take it out on the back porch (out of earshot from the other plant. If any of the neighbors heard me, I'm sure they thought I had lost it.) Holding it in my hands, I would speak directly to the plant. (I know, it's a little strange. But stay with me.)

I would say...

"You are so pretty!"

"I can see your beautiful yellow, purple and white flowers!"

"You are getting so big!"

"You must be the loveliest plant I've ever seen!"

After a minute or so of "nice talk," I would return the plant to the window sill.

I assumed the "LOVE" plant would grow bigger, higher, faster and stronger than the other plant. I assumed more flowers would blossom.

That is not what happened.

I am still a little stunned and perplexed by what happened next...

After about a week and a half of talking to the nice plant, I left for the weekend. (Time Out For Women in Long Beach, CA. Yay Long Beach!!! We love you!) I left both plants in their spot, both looking perfectly happy and content.

I walked in the door Sunday morning and found this...the plain plant totally wilted and drooping!

I immediately said to my husband, "What did YOU GUYS DO!?"

"Nothing!" He innocently replied.

"Did you forget to water it? Did you over-water it?"

"No."

I was shocked. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I checked the moisture of the soil - both plants were fine.

However, the "LOVE" plant had been fortified, strengthened and was standing tall. Clearly, the kind words had made a difference. Whatever was lacking - water, sun, a fresh outdoor breeze, new soil, space to expand roots - whatever it was that made the plain plant shrink, had absolutely no effect on the "LOVE" plant.

Kind, encouraging words had kept it strong. Those words were allowing the "LOVE" plant to "love life and see good days."

Words are important, influential - even life-changing. What we say and how we say it is crucial - it affects your spouse, children, work associates, extended family, friends, neighbors, strangers...

and it affects you.

There are over 250,000 distinct words in the English language.

Use. Them. Wisely.

(You may be interested in another "words" experiment I conducted. You can read about it here.)

VIDEO: You're in the Middle

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Have you ever had to wait for something? Wanted it, or needed it, so badly that you just wanted time to speed up?
Have you ever considered that your wait might be because someone else, somewhere else, was praying that time might be slowed down?

Stephanie Nielson of NieNie Dialogues: Sharing Her Hope

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:28:00 -0600

by LDS Living, Jamie Lawson

Every so often, a story comes along that you never forget.
And then you have to share it.
So, this is us, sharing with YOU, an unforgettable story that just might make you feel a little more grateful, a little more hopeful, a little more faithful. Enjoy!

Four years ago, popular NieNie Dialogues blogger Stephanie Nielson was in a horrific plane crash that burned 80 percent of her body. Since the accident, she has overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges to reclaim a beautiful life with her husband and children. Read as she shares her very personal near-death experience, as well as her personal mission: to share the hope of the gospel with others.

Read more here.

Everyday Miracles at 7-11

Wed, 08 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been thinking about chocolate covered cherries lately. The tiny treats have always symbolized my childhood Christmas mornings, and Mother always had several boxes scattered out on the counter when we came downstairs. We never had to ask if we could have one.

And, obviously, we never had just one.

So why are they on my mind in the heat of August? What has me thinking of them when Virginia’s smothering humidity reminds me every day that Christmas is months away?

It’s all about a good friend and a convenience store.

I’ve got a buddy who loves 7-11 and all of its convenient cousins. Is it an unhealthy affection? Tough to say, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he has a spare room in his home lined with maps of every 7-11, Handi-Mart and Exxon within a day’s drive.

When he walks in for a cold drink or quick snack, they don’t just call him by name. They ask about his kids and how his daughter did on last Friday’s spelling test.

I noticed a couple years ago that my friend also has a thing for chocolate covered cherries. Each time he visited a store that had them, or any of its individually wrapped siblings -- York Peppermint Patty singles, caramels, tiny Reese Cups, etc. – he always bought a couple extras.

One of the extras always goes to me and I appreciate the kindness. But the real generosity happens at checkout.

“How are you today?” he asks the clerk.

Their replies are often predictable. “Eh... OK, I guess… Just another day…”

“That’s it?” he asks. “We can do better than that.”

They don’t usually reply with words, but their eyes say plenty.

“Here, I promise this will turn your day around.” He slides the candy he’s just bought back across the counter.

“Excuse me?” Even the clerks he knows well act surprised each time he treats them.

“Trust me,” he says, “nothing turns your day around like a chocolate covered cherry.”

They reach for it and slide it the rest toward them. There’s no fighting it; a smile finds their mouth.

“Thank you,” they say, often more than once. “Thanks very much. You didn’t have to.”

My pal winks, pops his own treat in his mouth and walks out.

I eat my freebie treat too and the conversation turns to sports, politics, work and all the other things guys talk about to feel relevant to one another.

Sometimes my friend repeats the same scene on the same day at another location. I’ve been present for many of these chocolate covered cherry miracles. But how many have I missed?

I wonder how much money my friend has spent serving others in this small way. At 25 cents each, it can’t be much. I wonder if he’s bought 100 of these tasty gifts. More? 400? Even that lofty number would amount to just $100 over the span of years I’ve known him.

But it’s not the money, is it?

Like all other acts of the service, it’s the message. For a few seconds every time he walks into gas station or convenience store he send the unmistakable message to those who wait on him that they are not alone.

He speaks with action and with his gift of time. He says to them, “I see you. You’re not alone. You’re important. I don’t care where you work, or what you look like.” He practically shouts: “You matter!”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone step into your life, especially on the days you wish would end early, and look you in the eyes with that powerful message?

“You matter!”

My friend isn’t naïve and neither am I. We know that a 25 cent treat doesn’t solve life’s serious problems. It doesn’t help someone find a new job, cure family illness, or return the prodigal son.

But it just might make all those things seem more possible.

When life gets tough, when days seem bigger than our spirit, having someone look us in the eye and remind us we’re not alone could be the greatest gift of all.

I’m grateful that after so many visits to our favorite watering holes, I’m finally paying attention to my friend’s cherry chocolate miracles. I can’t wait to start performing my own. Come to think of it, I think I'll hit 7-11 on the way home tonight.

How about you?

VIDEO: An NFL Warm-up to a Primary Tune

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 08:16:00 -0600

It's time to get pumped up for the big game.
What songs would you expect on an NFL star's playlist? Well, here are three you'd never guess.

A Mormon with a Medal: An Interview with Peter Vidmar

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 08:43:00 -0600

by LDS Living

We are LOVING the Olympics right now! Have you ever wondered what it might be like to stand on a podium with a gold medal hanging around your neck? Or what that lifestyle of training is like for a Mormon athlete? Our friends at LDS Living found some answers when they interviewed Peter Vidmar, an Olympic gold medalist from the 1984 Olympics.

Mormon Peter Vidmar was part of the 1984 U.S. Men's Gymnastics Team - the first U.S. men's gymnastics team to win gold. Find out how his LDS religion influenced his win, his family, and his outreach to athletes everywhere.

Our Best Bites: The Recipe That Almost Got Away

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Crazy things happen when one is immersed in writing a cook book. Kitchens are chaotic, dishes are dirtied, pounds are gained, and occasionally minds are lost. With so many details to account for, it’s not surprising that some end up slipping through the cracks- like this recipe! It was created for our new cook book, Savoring The Seasons with Our Best Bites, to showcase one of our favorite summer fruits: fresh raspberries. When all was said and done, and we previewed the final copy of the book I realized something…it was missing! I still don’t know how it slipped past us, but it’s way too good not to share, so here you go!

Raspberry Cheesecake Crumb Bars
One of the highlights of summer is a plentiful supply of fresh berries, and sun-ripened raspberries are one of our favorites. Whether you pick your own, or find them at a local farmer’s market, they will shine in these buttery, crumb-topped bars, and burst with flavor when combined with a layer of almond cheesecake.

Crust and Crumb Topping
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
3 cups all purpose flour
½ teaspoon table salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup real butter (2 sticks), very cold.
1 egg, lightly beaten

Cheesecake Layer
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons flour
¼ teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons almond extract
2 eggs, at room temperature (place shelled eggs in a bowl of warm tap water for 10 minutes)

2 cups fresh raspberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly spray a 9 x 13 inch baking pan with non-stick spray and set aside.

In a mixing bowl, combine brown and white sugars, flour, salt, and baking powder. Use a cheese grater to grate butter into flour mixture and use your fingers, or a pastry cutter to crumble mixture together. Add beaten egg and quickly mix together with fork or pastry cutter to distribute. Place half of crumb mixture into prepared pan and use hands to press down in an even layer. Set aside.

In a separate mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons flour and ¼ teaspoon baking powder until smooth. Add in almond extract, and then eggs one at a time, beating after each addition until smooth.

Pour cheesecake mixture over crust layer in pan. Sprinkle raspberries evenly over the top. Sprinkle remaining crumb mixture on top of that. Bake for 40-50 minutes, until lightly golden brown on top.

Cool to room temperature, and then chill for 1 hour before cutting.

VIDEO: Still Living With My Parents

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0600

After 37 years of marriage and their 60th birthdays, Michael McLean and his wife found themselves living in a space that sometimes felt like a nursing home and a daycare center. But 60 is the new 50, right?

Tips to Organize Your Kitchen

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 10:53:00 -0600

by LDS Living

We saw these tips and tricks compiled by LDS Living, and we HAD to share them with you! Which one do you think would work best in your home?

With the kitchen often being the center of activity in the house, it can often also become the center of chaos. Try some of these tips to bring back some sanity to your life.

For some great ideas, read on.

The Camelot Moments

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0600

We did our best—reading books that said we were doing the right thing by having family scripture study, family prayer, and family home evening. But then our children complained through scriptures, yawned through prayers, and argued through home evening. We wondered if our efforts would ever make any difference.

What helped during those frustrating times? We tried to focus on the positive—those shining Camelot moments when things did go right. Remember the legendary King Arthur and his knights of the round table? Remember how for one short, magical moment, everything in his kingdom was perfect? It didn’t last, but it happened. Remember the famous line from the musical by Lerner and Loewe?

“Don’t let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment, that was known as Camelot.”

I remember one of those Camelot moments when I was making a collect call home while out of state. My daughter, two and a half at the time, answered the phone. The operator asked if she would accept the charges to the phone call. My daughter did not understand.

The frustrated operator said, “Please get an adult to come to the phone.”

My daughter said, “My grandpa and grandma went on a mission and I go to Nursery at church and sing songs.”

The operator said, “Is your mommy there? Go get your mother.”

My little girl continued, “I’m going to get married in the temple!” When my wife finally took the call, the operator was relieved, but I was proud. I said, “Debi, did you hear her? That was our daughter!”

However, as positive as we tried to be, the Camelot moments always seemed to fade too quickly. A few days after I returned from my trip, the family was shopping at the grocery store, and things weren’t so wonderful. The excursion had taken longer than it should have and the children were irritable. When we finally got to the checkout line, my eldest son began teasing my little daughter until she burst out in a voice loud enough for the whole store to hear, “Shut up, you stupid idiot!” I said to Debi, “Did you hear her? Whose daughter is this?”

I think most parents agree that some days just go better than others. When you get down and feel like everything is falling apart, remember the Camelot moments. That may help you maintain a long-term perspective and keep on going. Maybe that is what helps Heavenly Father parent us through some of our dark days. Perhaps He focuses on our Camelot moments. He knew mortality would be filled with ups and downs because He sent us to earth to learn, but He also knew the ups would make the downs bearable.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “I know it isn’t easy. It’s discouraging at times, sure. Aren’t you glad it isn’t just fun all the time? Those valleys of discouragement make more beautiful the peaks of achievement.”

After the Fall (a definite valley of discouragement), Adam focused on the positive. He realized that because of Christ’s Atonement, the low points did not have to last forever. He exclaimed, “Blessed by the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God” (Moses 5:10).

I remember as a young schoolteacher (with a large and active class) asking my wife, “When does life even out? Why does it always feel like a roller coaster with so many highs and lows all in the same day? I wish life would just level out.”

Being a nurse, Debi replied, “Brad, when you get hooked up to the heart monitor, you don’t want to see a straight line. That’s bad news. It’s the up and down lines that let you know you are alive.”

The highs and lows let us know we are participating and not just observing, learning and not just existing. And what keeps us motivated to continue on this learning journey? It is the high points-those are the moments that fill us with hope and perspective.

So next time your child says the wrong thing, remember when she said the right one. Next time family home evening disintegrates into nothing more than a fight that begins and ends with prayer, think about how wonderful the dinner conversation was the day before. Next time your teen requests to be dropped off several blocks from school so none of his friends see him with you, remember how he used to sing to you on Mother’s Day. Let those shining Camelot moments life you up and see you through.

VIDEO: The Mom Behind the Music

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 13:10:00 -0600

How many nine-year old kids do you know who accompany Grammy nominated artists? We know one, and she's Jenny Oaks Baker's daughter. The two share the stage to the tune of a Disney duet at a TOFW event.

Tips for Sane (and Fun) Road Trips

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 09:06:00 -0600

by LDS Living

While we're away from the TOFW tour for the summer we LOVE taking our families on road trips! But it isn't always the easiest thing to do (especially with little ones) which is why when we saw this LDS Living article we just HAD to share it. Do you have tips that have made for a fun "Sane" trip? Share them below!

Perhaps one of the most frustrating parts about going on vacation is trying to live out of a suitcase—even if just for a few days—and getting all your belongings all jumbled up. This becomes even more difficult when you have little ones who can’t do things for themselves.

Keep reading here.

From Bonnets to iPods

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 04:00:00 -0600

What did Nauvoo look like in the 1840s?

What time of year was it when the Saints were forced out of Nauvoo?

And how did the pioneers cross the river?

Everyone thinks they know the answers to these questions about the Saints’ exodus from Nauvoo. The only problem is that much of what we “know” about Church history is not entirely accurate. History is never quite as simple as the stories we like to tell. Actual events are always more complicated, more nuanced, and more troubling than the accounts passed down from one generation to another.

To begin with, Nauvoo wasn’t the clean, shining city we often imagine it was. Though Nauvoo was established in a beautiful horseshoe bend of the river, by modern standards it was actually a muddy, rustic place—mostly a log cabin town. For example, one daguerreotype picture of Nauvoo shows the temple in the background and lots of ugly outhouses, fences, and sheds in the foreground.

The flight from the little town called Nauvoo began when a number of wagons crossed the Mississippi River on February 4, 1846. But only about three thousand of the Saints left during the winter months, not the whole mass of Saints, like we tend to imagine. Around ten thousand waited until spring, and some didn’t leave until September.

Late in February ice formed on the Mississippi, later than it did most years. When we describe this part of the story, we sometimes forget a few important details. First, some of the exiles did cross on the ice, but only a small percentage of the total number. In addition, the cold that froze the ice also froze the pioneers, so even though it helped hundreds get across, it made for a trying experience and dozens of deaths in the camp at Sugar Creek.

The vision of the place the early Saints held in their memories—the one we inherited—is not really wrong. But the real story, in my mind, is not the ice bridge that formed. It’s the story of a dispossessed people facing trials and hardships and triumphing over them. There were plenty of backsliders, but we have every reason to honor those who made their way across the plains to the Great Basin. We have a noble heritage—whether we’re direct descendants or not.

We like to turn the exodus into a miracle play, with faultless Saints marching toward Zion, their chins always held high and their children always singing and singing and singing. But after spending two years in Nauvoo and spending more years reading and writing about that era, the lesson I have learned is that they were ordinary people, with typical weaknesses and failings, doing what they had to do.

I often heard visitors to Nauvoo say, “We just couldn’t do what they did.” But I prefer the opposite lesson: we have inherited the strength of our forebears. We are also ordinary people with all the foolish tendencies and frailties that humans possess, but we’re facing huge challenges, and we’re doing well. We aren’t wandering through a wilderness, but we’re slogging our way through some deep spiritual and cultural muck—a kind of hindrance to our progress no one in 1846 ever could have imagined.

Maybe the ice on the Mississippi helped for a time, but most of the triumph came from putting one foot in front of the other every day. And we’re as strong as they were. We face a culture gone crazy, and the trail ahead is not always well defined. But we’re moving forward, too, and we’re doing our level best to lead our children in the same direction. If our kids sing as they walk, they’re probably lip-syncing to the music on their iPods, but you know what? They’re doing all right. I think the generations are getting stronger, not weaker.

VIDEO: Facing Your 25 Year School Reunion

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0600

So you're chatting and laughing with the classmates of your past when all of sudden, an old friend says something that catches you completely off guard. You're shocked. You don't really know what to say. But you've got to say something...

The Sweet Tooth Fairy's B&W Chocolate Cupcake Recipe

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by LDS Living

Now that you've met the Sweet Tooth Fairy, we invite you to step into her kitchen. This TOFW partner and winner of Cupcake Wars proves, once again, that her cupcakes simply can't be beat. So grab your apron and your mixer and serve up this secret recipe.

Want your taste buds to do a little dance? Start reading this delicious black and white chocolate cupcake recipe from Cupcake Wars winner Megan Faulkner Brown - known to most as the Sweet Tooth Fairy.

Keep reading here.

Just Keep Playing

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0600

There are times each of us face discouragement: Problems arise, circumstances change, challenges come, those we love make choices that break our hearts. We feel alone and are filled with despair. In such moments, we sometimes close our eyes to the gifts God has given us and ask the Lord what we’ve done to deserve our trials.

Sister Janice Kapp Perry, a beloved LDS composer who has given the Church some of its most memorable and meaningful songs, knows such trials well. At one point in her career, she began to feel heavy pain in her left arm and hand. The more she composed, the worse the pain became. She visited doctor after doctor who assured her it was nothing life-threatening, but they had no success in curing the ailment. Soon, the condition became so severe that the middle fingers on her left hand would curl under, and she could no longer play the piano except with her little finger and thumb. She requested priesthood blessings and was promised healing—in due time. Some days she would cry out in frustration, “Why? Why this test? When I am trying to write music to glorify Thee and build the Kingdom, why my hand?”

A friend suggested visiting a doctor who had helped others with similar problems, so Sister Perry made an appointment. She was surprised to find out that this doctor was blind. During their visit he asked the typical questions, and she complained about how intense the pain was becoming. Then suddenly the irony of the situation struck her. Here she was complaining to a man who was blind.

“Doctor,” she finally said, “may I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course,” he replied.

“How do you deal with your test?” she asked.

A smile crept across the man’s face. “I’m so glad you asked,” he responded. He then explained that he had made the determination to focus on what he had and not on what he lacked. “Obviously,” he said, “there are many things I can’t do as a blind physician. But I don’t dwell on those. I focus on what I can do and then I do it well.

“Sister Perry,” he then said gently, “I notice you still find a way to compose music even though it is difficult.”

Sister Perry nodded thoughtfully.

The doctor continued, “My wife and I decided that we could let this trial draw us closer to God or turn us away from Him. We chose to let it draw us closer.”

That day Sister Perry went home and wrote another song and dedicated it to the blind doctor. She called it “The Test” (The Light Within, Prime Recordings, 1985):

Tell me friend, why are you blind?
Why doesn’t He who worked the miracles
Send light into your eyes?
Tell me friend, if you understand
Why doesn’t He with power to raise the dead
Just make you whole again?
It would be so easy for Him.
I watch you and in sorrow question why.
Then you, my friend, in perfect faith reply:
Didn’t He say He sent us to be tested?
Didn’t He say the way would not be sure?
But didn’t he say we could live with Him
Forever more, well and whole
If we but patiently endure?
After the trial, we will be blessed.
But this life is the test.

Too many raise an angry fist at heaven when they’re faced with tests and trials, when they should be extending an open hand to receive the help God so willingly offers. So instead of closing our eyes to the miracles in our lives, we should turn to Heaven for strength, focusing on our blessings to help us avoid self-pity and depression. Expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father helps us move forward with improved perspective and hope, and more important, it helps us see just how much we really have. Even in times of darkness, we can learn to look for and follow the light of the Lord. We can “look to God and live.”

VIDEO: Check, Please!

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 09:50:00 -0600

How old were you when you signed your very first check? TOFW presenter, Mary Ellen Edmunds, shares a story about how a little bit of training and whole lot of trust can be the perfect combination.

Meet the Sweet Tooth Fairy

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 09:53:00 -0600

by LDS Living, Ashley Evanson

1,000 cupcakes baked, frosted, and displayed in two hours. We want to introduce you to one of our SWEETEST TOFW partners: the Sweet Tooth Fairy.

Meet Megan Faulkner Brown - a Food Network Cupcake Wars warrior, baking genius, businesswoman, wife, and Mormon mom. You might call her confections amazing. You can simply call her the Sweet Tooth Fairy.

Keep reading here.

Escape to Freedom: An Interview with Mariama Kallon

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0600

What does freedom mean to someone who hasn’t had it? How does forgiveness and knowing God play a part in feeling free? We interviewed Mariama Kallon, a woman and TOFW presenter from Sierra Leone, West Africa who endured years of hiding, suffering, and losing family and friends to a war torn country.

What did freedom mean to you as a young girl growing up in Sierra Leone during a time of war?
During the war it was hard and I don't feel I ever experienced freedom.   You can't do what you want or even live where you want. Many times you have to leave your home right away, running to escape the rebels, leaving all you own behind. You’re running and you just take yourself. You can’t go back but can only move on to where life takes you. The lack of freedom was all because of the greed of men --people thinking they could take advantage of others, which wasn’t right.

One of the many freedoms taken away from women was the freedom to take care of yourself. You tried not to be attractive to the rebels. If they found you attractive they would take you with them.   During that time, as much as I could remember, we would leave our hair undone and go without make-up.   We wouldn’t take care of ourselves out of fear of them; over time, that damaged our feelings of self-worth. We couldn’t be what we wanted but had to protect ourselves and live with the fear of even our virtue being taken away. The rebels thought they could take whatever they wanted.

How did you learn about the gospel?
I learned about the gospel through a lady whose daughters were taken away by the rebels. She shared the hope, courage and joy she found in the gospel during such a hard time. It was the thing that kept her going. So through that invitation I went to church and loved what I saw and mostly what I felt. The feeling that I had is what converted me. I joined the church and it has blessed my life so far. It is my way—my only way of life.

How has being able to forgive helped you?
Being able to forgive has helped me to be free. Heavenly Father has commanded me to forgive everyone and I trust that He will do justice where He feels it should be done. I know that I cannot feel that forgiveness towards others just like that. It doesn’t just come naturally. You have to work for it and be willing to submit to what the Lord wants. Pray. Fervently pray. I pray every day for a heart of forgiveness. And one thing I’ve come to find out is that He sees into our hearts. If you have an honest desire He will grant it to you. Without a heart of forgiveness you can’t move forward. You can’t be free. It doesn’t come easy. I pray and I fast and I ask Heavenly Father’s help. I want to forgive. I want to see the light of Christ in others. And it amazes me that He really helps me.

How has living the gospel given you freedom?
The gospel gives us freedom to hope no matter what happens in our lives. When I didn’t have the gospel there was no hope. Especially during the war. You’re ready to die because there isn’t anything more to live for. Through the gospel I now know there is life after this life and I can be with my family and see them again. As long as I try my best to live the way the Lord wants me to, I will be able to be with my Heavenly Father again. You can have those promises, those blessings that he has promised. It’s a very hopeful thing and makes life worth living every day. No matter what happens, with the gospel, you know there is something to live for. It’s a precious thing.

VIDEO: "I Created This"

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 23:59:00 -0600

Upon completion, no one believed that the 23 year-old Michelangelo had actually sculpted the Pieta. But he had.
Unlike Michelangelo's masterpiece, we are still in the making. But we are not sculpting alone.

Ultimate Guide: Knee-length Skirts

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:26:00 -0600

by LDS Living

The hunt for skirts that are both stylish AND modest can sometimes be a challenge. But we've got some good news. Our friends at LDS Living have rounded up some great finds and we couldn't help but pass them along to you!

Looking for a modest skirt to wear to church or just around? Look no further. LDS Living has compiled a few fashionable knee-length (or longer) skirts to keep you cool and covered this summer.

Read more here!
Ultimate Guide: Knee-length Skirts

Locker Room Talk and Lessons from Football

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by David Kimball of Jericho Road

Before I say anything, allow me to readily admit that a Time Out for Women blog may not be the best place for football stories, but hear me out! As many of you know, the four of us who comprise Jericho Road met in college. We were pretty much your average sports-loving, ramen noodle-eating college guys who also happened to love singing and performing together. Abe won’t brag about it, but he actually walked on and made the BYU football team. So maybe it was just the practice squad and he never quite got that ‘Rudy’ moment, but he accomplished WAY more than any of us did with our athletic skills, so props to Abe! And if you want a good laugh, be sure to ask Justin or Bret about the infamous intramural football practice incident. But I digress….

I learned something during the last NFL Divisional Playoffs that I wanted to share with you. (For those of you reading this who have no idea what that means, it’s the semifinals that determine who will play in the Super Bowl.) I found it interesting that when the original 32 teams were narrowed to the final four, two of them were coached by brothers. Jim Harbaugh coaches the Baltimore Ravens and John Harbaugh coaches the San Francisco 49ers. For anyone to achieve that level of success in coaching is phenomenal, so for two brothers to do it in the same year is almost miraculous. I was curious to know what type of upbringing these brothers had and wondered what could have contributed to their great success.

One thing really stood out: their dad. Jack Harbaugh was also a football coach who raised his sons to be focused, hard-working and confident. Almost every night when he got home from work he would energetically shout out at his family “Who has it better than us?” In turn his family would shout back and respond, “Nobody!!!” This is a tradition that John Harbaugh still has with his team. Even through tough times he can be heard shouting in the 49er locker room “Who has it better than us?” to which his team will shout back, “Nobody!!!”

The message is that focusing on the positive in life will help us to be the best that we can be. So often we get down about all of the stress, pressures, and frustrations we have instead of thinking of all of the good things we have going for us. Like those football players, recognizing our blessings and appreciating the challenging opportunities we have in moments of discouragement will immediately bolster our confidence and improve our desires to work even harder and make things even better.

There is not a person on this earth who doesn’t have access to the hope that Jesus Christ brings. Every single one of us can look to the heavens with eager and bright eyes and with the confidence that Heavenly Father loves us and has a tangible plan for our happiness. So if we’re ever tempted to focus on the negative and dwell on everything that might be going badly, hopefully we can stop ourselves, think about the good news of the gospel for a moment and then quickly ask ourselves "Who has it better than us?”

Nobody.

VIDEO: Indoor Camping

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

You know those moments when you catch a little one who's making mischief? Kris Belcher shares one of those moments and talks about listening for loud fire alarms and quiet promptings.

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Easy Slow Cooker Recipes

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 11:08:00 -0600

by LDS Living

Sesame Beef. Artichoke and Spinach Dip. Pesto Chicken. Sweet and Spicy Ribs. Brown Sugar Banana Bread. And MORE.

ALL easy. ALL in your slow cooker.

Hungry yet?

LDS Living has compiled some seriously yummy slow cooker recipes to free up your busy days and satisfy your friends and family.

Find your new favorite recipes here!
http://www.ldsliving.com/story/68979-easy-slow-cooker-recipes

FATHER'S DAY: From His Point of View

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 01:00:00 -0600

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters,” the saying goes, but it could easily and accurately be changed to, “One fathering is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” Often on Father’s Day we reminisce about what our dads have done for us. But from a father’s perspective, I want to discuss what being a dad does to us. Let me share two personal stories to illustrate the profound effect of fatherhood.

Fatherhood and Faithfulness
Merely the thought of being a dad has influenced me since my full-time mission. Like many missionaries, I struggled early on and I wasn’t sure if I could do it. The reality of two years in the mountains and jungles of Bolivia with an unknown companion and an unwanted tapeworm named El Flaquito started to weigh me down and make me vacillate in my commitment to serve. When I expressed my uncertainty in a letter to my family, my mom wrote back and said something that recommitted me to the faithful completion of my mission. She didn’t mention Jesus, the Book of Mormon, or the Prophet. She simply mentioned my children. My future children. In a letter I still have today, she wrote about my premortal children watching me from heaven saying, “C’mon dad, you can do it!” For some inexplicable reason, the thought of my future kids rooting for me to serve faithfully gave me the motivation I needed.

Now that six of those children have jumped on the slippery slide from premortality and landed in my mortal lap they still motivate me to do right. Sometimes, thinking of this blessing, I’m reminded of the father who overheard his son pray, “Dear God, make me the kind of man my daddy is.” Later that night, the Father prayed, “Dear God, make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.” For me and many dads the world over, fatherhood facilitates faithfulness.

Fatherhood and Selflessness
One day on a drive in our marshmallow minivan, when my wife was expecting our fourth child, we had a disagreement. She was having a pregnancy moment (being a little emotional and sensitive) and I was having a manly moment (not being emotional or sensitive enough). As my wife cried in the passenger seat and I insensitively drove on, focusing on the road instead of her, a little lispy four-year-old voice from the back seat cried out in rebuke, “Have you forgot? She’s your wife! You should love her! Be nice to her!” I looked back in surprise at my daughter. Between blonde pig tails and a snotty nose, I saw seriousness in her blue eyes and heard powerful truth in her simple words. Waking from my thoughtless stupor, I turned to my wife and apologized, and thanked God for the thoughtfulness of my daughter.

There is something about being a dad that helps men to love more deeply, serve more selflessly, and sacrifice more willingly than we might otherwise have. The diapers and dinosaurs, the baths and the Barbies, the chauffeuring and the cheering; all of it helps us turn outward instead of inward, and thus be better men. I know of no better cure for the sickness of selfishness than the fatigue of fatherhood.

William Wordsworth wrote, “Father!—to God Himself we cannot give a holier name.” Reverently, I wonder if part of God’s goodness comes as a result of His sacred role as “Father.” I know it has for me.

Father's Day WINNERS!

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by Diane from Alabama & Allie from Utah

Enjoy our top two stories from the Father's Day contest!

Diane from Alabama

One of the most unforgettable moments I have had with my Dad was the day I turned 18. He was so proud; he told me to get in the car that we were going somewhere. I had no idea where he was going to take me, but as he turned the car toward town I realized where we were going.

My Dad has taught me all my life that we all have a right to vote, and that each and every one of us as citizens has a duty to vote. As we entered the courthouse he told me how proud he was of this day, and he also told me that this was the reason he fought for our country, so that I-his daughter-could vote on who I would feel would be the right person to run our country. I have never felt prouder than I was that day when my Dad and I shared this moment together. No one else could share this special moment with me but my Daddy.

Allie from Utah

When I was little, my dad worked as a firefighter, so he worked 24 hour shifts, then was home for a day. It was always fun to have him home when we got home from school. We loved those days. I remember numerous times throughout the years when I would be sick on his day off, and it never failed, each of those mornings he would cuddle with me on the couch and watch "The Little Mermaid.” That was OUR movie. We loved watching it together.

On my wedding day, I didn’t tell my dad beforehand what song we would be dancing to, so as he walked to meet me on the dance floor, "Part of Your World" began to play, and we danced and cried. It was the perfect Father-Daughter moment to follow all those years of loving kindness!

VIDEO: A Time To Cry

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Life takes us through times of joy and peace and times of struggle and loss. S. Michael Wilcox reminds us that even good can come from bad and that love is always the lesson.

5 Ways Fathers Influence Their Daughters

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by LDS Living

This is a special time for all of us as we get to recognize the FATHERS in our lives and the INFLUENCE they have had on us, as well as our children.

LDS LIVING featured an article this week that captures the important steps for FATHERS TODAY to be able to INFLUENCE their DAUGHTERS, and so we wanted to share it with you!

HAPPY FATHERS day to all the fathers, husbands, grandfathers, and other influential men in your life!

Oh...and it might be a good idea to share this with those great FATHERS as well!

READ THE FULL STORY HERE!

http://www.ldsliving.com/story/68982-5-ways-fathers-influence-their-daughters

Letting Her Cry

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

We sat with my pediatrician at my daughter’s twelve-month checkup. My daughter had been growing and was right on track, progressing the way a little girl should. But I had a pressing question for the doctor: Will I ever sleep through the night again?

At about six months, my daughter started sleeping through the night. This went on for a few blissful weeks, until she suddenly started waking up screaming at the same time every night. My husband and I determined she was going through a growth spurt, and started giving her an extra feeding. Then she developed the habit of waking up for that feeding every night—even when the growth spurt was long over. We tried letting her cry it out, but she’s a very determined little lady, and she wore us out. The feedings continued. We were exhausted.

The pediatrician was our last hope. And mercifully, she had a few great suggestions—keep her bedtime music on all night long, put a few extra binkies in the bed with her, and let her figure it out.

Let her figure it out. That’s hard. It’s hard to listen to a baby cry.

When my daughter was a newborn, my husband and I would drop what we were doing and go right away when she would cry. She was so little and inexperienced. And we knew she was crying because she really needed something, and because we knew we could help, we came to her rescue.

But as she’s gotten a bit older, we’ve learned that helping her right away when she cries isn’t always the best thing for her. The nighttime feeding episode made that abundantly clear. So, now we let her cry sometimes. Because sometimes (especially in the middle of the night) what she wants isn’t what she needs. And in those times, even though we still hear her, we are helping her the most when we don’t run to her rescue right away. We are helping her the most when we let her figure things out for herself.

It’s interesting to me that in the scriptures, prayer is often referred to as a cry. In Alma 34, for instance, we’re specifically instructed to cry unto the Lord. We are to cry in our fields, over all our flocks, in our houses, and over our household at morning, mid-day, and evening. (That seems like a lot of crying to me, but perhaps that’s just my perspective as the mother of a toddler talking.)

When I was small, I remember that my cries to the Lord were almost always answered. As I’ve grown and gained experience, sometimes my prayers feel like unanswered cries in the night that no one can hear. But I’ve learned that isn’t true. My cries are always heard. My Heavenly Father always hears me. And because our Father in Heaven is perfect, I know that my cries don’t tire him out like my daughter’s earthly cries tire me. As His daughter, I need to remember that just because I’m not getting the answer I want, it doesn’t mean I’m not heard. It just means that maybe the thing that I’m crying and praying for isn’t coming to pass because it isn’t the best for me. Or maybe I need to wait a little longer. Or maybe I just need to figure it out for myself.

VIDEO: Mr. Mom For a Summer

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Laugh with us as TOFW presenter, Dean Hughes, recounts the summer he spent playing "mom," and reminds us that in the middle of life's busy days we can still find ways to reach out and do good. How do you fit small acts of service into your schedule?

WINNER: Super Yummy Raspberry Cheesecake Bars

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by LDS Living

LDS Living has just announced the #1 Dessert Bar Recipe from their contest, and we wanted to share it with you! Any recipe that starts with "Super Yummy" is worth trying...

Presenting the winner of our best dessert bar contest: Super Yummy Raspberry Cheesecake Bars!

Four finalists down (see our other favorite dessert bar recipes so far), and we’re finally revealing our winner.

In this final week, meet our voters’ favorite dessert bar recipe of all time from the 30+ that we received: Super Yummy Raspberry Cheesecake Bars, by Vida Lake of San Angelo, Texas.

http://www.ldsliving.com/story/68978-food-dish-best-dessert-bar-contest-winner-recipe

Father's Day Contest!

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Celebrate Your Dad!

Share with us ONE unforgettable memory with your dad and see it published in the June 20th TOFW.com newsletter.

Story must be submitted by June 18th and be within 900 characters. Winner will receive a gift from the TOFW.com Gift Basket!

Submit your story here:
http://tofw.com/user_submitted_stories/new

A Worldwide Walk

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

It was a feeling that had followed me around for months, gently prodding, almost inviting ––you need more of the scriptures in your life right now.

Make room.
Set aside some time.
The feeling grew into a yearning to know more of holy words on gilded pages ––a longing to know more of the Lord. I spoke of the desire with my family and a few of my closest friends, and together we set a goal to read the entire Standard Works this year. Seven pages a day.

Before long the enthusiasm for the idea started to grow. As others heard what we were doing they expressed a desire to join us. So, by way of a blog, I extended an invitation ––anyone who wanted was welcome to join us on the journey to read the scriptures daily.

People from all around the world began accepting the invitation to spend a little more time in the scriptures. Comments flowed in from Africa to Argentina, and I quickly discovered an unexpected blessing ––through this journey I would be introduced to people I would never have come to know otherwise.

Strangers who are now becoming friends drawn together by a unified goal…a humble desire to know more of the Savior, to know more of His words.
My new friend Heidi Fernandez from Oregon wrote, “Scripture reading is the base of my day emotionally and spiritually. I wake up and grab my scriptures. I read and try to find one passage to get me through the day. Through my many readings I have found a strong testimony of the Lord’s love for me. Reading every day is my way to keep this alive and is my daily power.”
I love how Brenda Freund from Nevada describes her experience, “When my exhaustion reaches the point I can hardly move, when my aching heart makes it difficult to even breathe, when I feel I can't go on another day, the scriptures have been my 'Balm of Gilead'. Evidence that God knows and loves me, the knowledge that He has not forgotten my family, is embedded in the pages.”

These evidences that Brenda talks about have become a theme that has stood out to many of us along this journey.
The scriptures are filled with stories that testify of the Lord’s tender mercies.
Evidences of the hand of the Lord in the lives of His people.
Evidences.

Often it is these evidences of the hand of the Lord along the way that motivate us to keep going. The evidences become a source of strength, an anchor.

I wanted to find a way to celebrate these evidences.

Again I gathered with my family and some close friends. We decided to plan a 13.1 mile walk that will take place this month, on June 23, 2012 to celebrate the evidences of the Lord’s hand in our life.

More than just a half marathon, this walk will include several stops where we will take a few minutes to discuss the Deliverer of the Old Testament, and the Savior of the New Testament. We will ponder the tender mercies contained in the Book of Mormon, and the call to action extended in the Doctrine and Covenants. Evidences.

This walk will entail a celebration. An experience. A journey.

Remarkably, people from all over the World are asking to join this journey.
Some will walk with us here in Lehi, Utah; others will join us that day walking a route in the area in which they currently live. Groups are being organized in places like Oregon, Nevada, California, and Nova Scotia, Canada.

Hemaima Tait from New Zealand wrote, “I live in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand and two weeks ago invited the Kaikohe Stake Relief Society to pick up the scriptures and read and then take up their shoes and walk with me on the 23 of June. So far 20 sisters have signed up to walk. I have been inspired by the journey and am filled with hope and resolve as my love for the scriptures has taken the place of pride in my day. Walking and reading the scriptures has added oil to my lamp daily, and getting a sense of the participation of others around the world has strengthened me greatly. I have found enormous spiritual strength through this journey ––each day a walk of faith.”

I love the thought of friends gathering all over the world on June 23, 2012 to celebrate the power of the Scriptures and to recognize the evidences of the hand of the Lord in our lives.

It makes my heart happy.

Perhaps you would like to join us on this journey…

www.dailyclosertochrist.com

VIDEO: Grandpa's Front Porch Swing

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Heidi Swinton shares a story from President Monson's childhood and a lesson he learned while sitting on a front porch swing with his grandpa. What lessons have you learned from quietly watching your family members?

Living with Same-sex Attraction: Our Story

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by Ty & Danielle Mansfield

As a sister company to LDS Living, we thought you would like to hear about one of their current top stories that highlights one couple’s faith, dedication, and experience with same-sex attraction. Enjoy!

In 2003, Ty Mansfield wrote an essay for a class at BYU about how he—a member of the LDS Church who has experienced same-sex attraction—had found peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ. That essay resulted in a book, In Quiet Desperation, that made Ty's private struggle public. In 2011 he published an anthology on the same topic, Voices of Hope: Latter-day Saint Perspectives on Same-Gender Attraction.

Editor’s note:
Same-sex attraction is a sensitive and complex issue. We feel it is important to try to understand how we can better meet the needs of friends, family, and Church members who experience SSA. Ty and Danielle graciously shared the following story as a first step in creating a more open dialogue about same-gender attraction in the LDS community. We are in no way suggesting marriage is a catch-all solution; we recognize everyone’s experience is different. This is simply one man’s story of finding fulfillment and happiness while living in harmony with the gospel.

http://ldsliving.com/story/68799-living-with-same-sex-attraction-our-story

VIDEO: Everything But The Tuna

Wed, 30 May 2012 00:00:00 -0600

When you look at your detailed to-do list, do you only see the one thing you forgot or the one thing you didn't get to? DeAnne Flynn shares a funny family moment that reminds us to be a little more patient with ourselves.

Hungry All the Time

Mon, 28 May 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Recently I read: And blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost (3 Nephi 12:6).

I hunger and thirst a lot. I hunger for Reese’s peanut butter cups, hot bread, funeral potatoes, those marshmallow eggs with the colored candy shells they have apparently stopped making (what’s that about?), and occasionally something as potentially healthy as fresh raspberries or a good artichoke. I thirst after sparkling cider, hot chocolate, fresh orange juice, Fresca mixed with cranberry juice, real lemonade, and occasionally cold water straight from the tap.

I can even think of times when I might say I’ve hungered and thirsted for the Spirit, longing for the taste of prayer on my lips, or the fullness that comes after a spiritual feast.

But upon reading this scripture I found myself wondering – do I actually hunger and thirst after righteousness? Do I wander around the world the way I wander around my kitchen looking for just the right acts of righteousness to satisfy some deep spiritual palate? When was the last time I perused the scriptures for an enticing description of service or mercy, the way I might search a menu in a fine restaurant for a tantalizing dish? Do I make out a spiritual grocery list before I head out for the day, eager to stock my pantry with virtues? Do I find myself thirsty mid-afternoon for some old wrong to right, some stranger or friend? Am I eager for a cup of the milk of human kindness, not to drink myself but to pour out on others before I retire at night?
Not so much. In fact, I can be sort of unsavory salt.

But I’d like to give it a try. Maybe this needs to be my newest fad diet: Replacing my chocolate craving with a yearning to do good. Retraining the part of me that lingers over the buffet table to linger over the ward roster instead, searching out ways to help. Retooling my eyes to linger over beauties and blessings with thanksgiving instead of lingering over a bakery shelf with greed.

Where would I begin? The Lord taught his disciples to pray for bread for today. I guess I begin with prayer as well, but this would not be a prayer for satisfaction but a prayer for longing: Bless me today with hunger.

Bless me today to be thirsty. Bless me today to be as disgusted with sin as with rotten fish or sour milk. Bless me today to starve for integrity and charity and hope, to dig for them as I would for winter carrots when I had nothing else to eat. Help me thirst as much for a forgiving heart as I would thirst for a cool mountain spring after a hike through a hot desert.

Christ was the Bread of Life who gave Himself away, the Living Water who poured Himself out for others – and me – to drink. As I hunger and thirst to be more like Him-to do and say what He would in my place- the miracle of abundance emerges, and I am filled.

How have you been filled by small righteous acts?

LDS Living Dessert Bar Contest Recipe

Fri, 25 May 2012 00:00:00 -0600

We thought we should share with you our FAVORITE LDS Living article this week...the dessert bar contest!

We're getting close to revealing the winner of our contest, but let's not forget about the delicious dessert that came in as the third favorite: Butterscotch Nutella Bars.

Two finalists down (see our other favorite dessert bar recipes so far); three more finger-licking recipes to go.

This week, meet our voters’ third most favorite recipe.

http://ldsliving.com/story/68857-food-dish-best-dessert

VIDEO: Fires, Bionicles, and Learning to Act

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:53:00 -0600

Like thousands of others, one little boy in Chicago watched the devastation a fire that raged in California. But unlike thousands of others, this little boy felt the need to do something. Merrilee Boyack shares the story of how his small decision to act led to big results.

Be Moved with Compassion

Mon, 21 May 2012 00:00:00 -0600

It was a day my mom won’t ever forget. The phone call. The news that her dear friend had delivered a baby. Stillborn.

Immediately, my mom received a prompting to go to the hospital. When she walked into the room her friend looked up at her from the bed and through her tears she said, “I just feel so empty.”

My mom searched for the right words to say and when none came she climbed into the hospital bed next to her friend, wrapped her arms around her, and together they cried.

Several days after that experience the husband of my mom’s friend came to our home to talk to my mom. He told her, “What you did that afternoon changed my life. So often we think to ourselves, I will give them some space, some time to heal, and we wait. What made all the difference to my wife that day wasn’t anything you said, it was the fact that you were there that made all the difference.”

It was the succoring. The weeping together, the arms outstretched, the heart swelling in compassion.

Recently I was reading in Moses and I stumbled across a verse that has occupied my mind. “Wherefore Enoch knew…and wept and stretched forth his arms, and his heart swelled wide as eternity.” (Moses 7:41)

Today I have tried to focus my thoughts on the things I know…the family down the street whose dad just lost his job...the boy around the corner who needs a place to stay for a bit…the mother five houses down whose son is having major surgery on Tuesday…and I weep…and I want to stretch my arms and let my heart swell wide enough for my whole neighborhood.

I am coming to realize just the knowing, and the weeping, and stretching the arms wide, and heart swelling is not enough. To succor means to run to. To be there.

How do I know?

Because “Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching…and healing every sickness and every disease among the people…when he saw…he was moved with compassion on them.” (Matthew 9:35-36)

He didn’t just have compassion. He was moved with compassion.

His compassion, His arms reaching and heart swelling, caused Him to act.

I find myself wondering how we can learn to be moved with compassion rather than to just watch with compassion? How can we learn to act?

Maybe we could try to remember the times in our life when we have been in desperate need of compassion.

Do you know what it is to ache? To yearn for something that is unobtainable? Have you felt a weight so heavy you have not had strength enough to bear it? Has sleepless night after sleepless night ever left you emotionally exhausted? In the darkest moments of your life have you ever thought there might be nowhere to turn?
If so, then your heart ––through your own personal experience–– has been taught. Because you have felt the aching, you can sense how to ease the suffering. I am reminded of a line found in a familiar hymn, “As thy days may demand so thy succor shall be…” (How Firm a Foundation, hymn no. 85)

Would you be willing to help succor someone whose day demands aching? What if their day demands mourning? Perhaps you know someone whose day demands a burden beyond their ability to bear.

You have been there before ––what would have brought you comfort, peace, or strength?

Within the knowing and through the weeping let your arms stretch wide and your heart swell and then pray for inspiration as to what you might do.

Become moved with compassion.

We may not know just what it is someone else is going through, but chances are we have felt many of the same emotions. We become moved with compassion when we walk beside another and smooth the road ahead. In that moment we are on the Lord’s errand. Our hands become His.
For a moment ponder the people within your circle of influence.

Is there one who comes to mind who could benefit from your compassion right now?

Could you weep with them, stretch your arms out to them, allow your heart to swell wide in their behalf? Could you become moved with compassion?
If you were on the Lord’s errand, what would He have you do?

Perhaps today you could ask Him.

Emily Freeman
www.dailyclosertochrist.com

Seek this Summer!

Tue, 15 May 2012 23:40:00 -0600

by TOFW

Take a moment to step back and take a deep breath in…go ahead, we’ll wait. What are the things that need your heart most right now? Are you ready for them? This summer is all about, SEEKING THE GOOD, the good you can do, the good you can create, and the good life has waiting for you.

See what Brad Wilcox, Wendy Ulrich, and others are doing this summer to SEEK THE GOOD…

My wife and I are tending grandkids while their parents have a get-away. Crazy how it takes my wife, my college-age daughter, and me (3 adults) to take care of Paisley and Pyper (2 babies) that their mom usually handles alone (1 mom). If my daughter-in-law is reading this, please know how much we respect and admire you! ~Brad Wilcox

Wendy Ulrich

We have a lot of happy anticipation at our house this summer planning for the wedding of our middle daughter, which of course includes getting everyone together from far-flung places. I’m also excited about teaching a Sunday School class for Young Single Adults in our ward. ~Wendy Ulrich

With summer approaching and schedules relaxing, I am seeking the good each day by taking time to connect with my children and making sure we spend quality moments making memories with one another and as a family. :) ~Sara Wells (from Our Best Bites)

This summer, I've made it a goal to read one chapter of the scriptures every night before I turn in. My husband and I have gotten into the lazy habit of watching TV far too late into the night...and getting into bed to read my scriptures not only gets me to sleep a little earlier thus making it easier for me to tackle the tasks of my day, but also gives me the spiritual nightcap I need to face my daily challenges. I love the scriptures. And as I listen to the soft sound of crickets chirping outside in the warmer night air, my lamp is burning as I seek for the good within their priceless pages. ~Carmen Rasmusen Herbert

I’m going to be spending time this summer seeking the goodness that comes from family relationships at family reunions. I’ll also be visiting China and seeking the good by getting to meet new friends there. ~John Hilton III

A way I'm seeking the good this summer? Spending some quality time with my husband and little ones as we go on some fun family vacations! It's easy to find the good in my life when I'm with the ones I love....on a beach....in the sun:) ~McKenzie Turley

Macy Robison

After a busy winter and spring, I'm going to be seeking the good with my family. My oldest starts kindergarten this fall, and we need to have as much fun as possible before that happens! ~Macy Robison

Video: Hanger Danger

Mon, 14 May 2012 16:05:00 -0600

Who knew a simple hanger would change their plans of fun to be a day spent in a hospital near Dallas. Whitney, of Mercy River, shares the sweet moments that came even during such a difficult time.

Change: how it shows in Zebra Stripes and Peace Signs

Wed, 09 May 2012 22:59:00 -0600

My baby is nearing the age of “I think I’ll climb out of my crib now”. Now that she’ll soon be in a “big girl bed”, I’ve been thinking about re-decorating the room she shares with her sister. I thought I would get my 6 year old’s opinion on what she would like in this new room, so we had the following conversation:

ME: Kallie, what color should we paint your walls?
KALLIE: Mmm, zebra stripes.
ME: Really? What color should we paint your bed? (It’s currently olive green.)
KALLIE: Purple!
ME: Wow. What kind of quilt do you want?
KALLIE: I want one with peace signs all over it. And peace sign pillows.
ME: And what about your dresser?
KALLIE: Let’s keep it green.
ME: OK, what kind of quilt should Kate [the baby] have?
KALLIE: Well, actually, give her the peace sign quilt. I want one with horses on it. With horse pillows.

Ahem. I don’t think so. Call me a bad mom, but I’m not doing ANY of that. Besides the fact that it will make a ridiculous looking room, there is a little fact I know about my daughter. Her taste is constantly changing. (Thank heavens.) I know the minute I paint two stripes on the wall, she’ll want something different.

Every time I think back to my own childhood, I think about all the ways I have changed. Not just my tastes, but my opinions, my testimony, and even parts of my personality. It’s the inevitable—with each experience comes the opportunity to alter some part of ourselves. Changing is sometimes difficult, or even painful. But here are my thoughts on this:

1. We are blessed to have the ability to change ourselves. I think it’s sometimes easy to get discouraged. I often think I’m not changing fast enough. There is so much to do, so much to learn, so much to improve. I have a family member who became so overwhelmed with amount of changes he would have to make in his life, he gave up trying. And although he has made huge strides in the last few years, it saddens me to think of how much LESS work he would have to do, if he hadn’t given up in the first place.

There’s a great quote from Dennis Gaunt:
“If there is an overarching message from the Book of Mormon, if there is one grand lesson that we’re supposed to learn above all the others, perhaps it is this: that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, because of His mercy and grace, we don’t have to be like the bad guys. We can repent and be forgiven of our sins. We can be clean again. Because if even some of the worst bad guys of the Book of Mormon can repent and become good guys—if even the “most vilest of sinners” can become “new creatures”—then so can we.”

Don’t give up on yourself. Heavenly Father hasn’t.

2. OTHERS have the ability to change. I’ve been in situations where I have been extremely hurt by someone else, and at times it’s been difficult to believe that someone that caused me so much pain won’t do it again. But they can change! I’ve been learning that unless I change my view of people, and allow them to transform, then the healing power of the Atonement can’t work.
A quote from Jeffrey R. Holland, (and it’s one of my favorites): “Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is that charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!”
Believe others can change. Believe YOU can change.

And if you have any ideas on ways to change a 6 year olds mind on peace signs, let me know.

Being the Backside of an Elephant

Tue, 08 May 2012 12:27:00 -0600

It was to be my greatest role ever! True, I was only in the sixth grade, but my part as Jumbo the elephant in the school play would launch my acting career for sure. I was to share the large gray elephant costume with my friend Katie, who would be the two front legs and head, while I was the back legs and rear end. Hmm. I hope that wasn’t typecasting.

We were to sing a beautiful duet as Jumbo with an English accent and we felt like stars as we practiced. But, a few days before the performance, Katie got the chicken pox, and I was left to play the part of the pachyderm alone. Although I felt sorry for my friend, I was secretly thrilled for my chance to shine. I was promoted from the rear end of Jumbo, to be the entire animal. I would now wear the papier-mâché elephant head, as well as the tail, and it would only be my English accented song which would sound from the cardboard paper-towel-tube trunk. I was nervous, but very excited.

The big night arrived, and I sang proudly in the chorus. Midway through the play, a few minutes before I would make my debut as Jumbo, disaster struck. A student on the front row of the risers stole my thunder. Right in the middle of our performance, he threw up. It’s true. Then he made his way toward the wings, and mid-stride, once again, he vomited all over the stage. Talk about a show stopper. The entire auditorium was stunned into complete silence.

For several moments, no one moved. At last, a member of the audience came on stage to clean up the mess. When his job was complete, he whispered to all of us on the risers, “The show must go on!”

That was it! All my dreams of stardom vanished with the vomit!

The show did go on, and I sang my well-rehearsed part; however, I was not the star as I had anticipated. When my “would be” legendary night is recalled, it is the boy on the risers with the flu, and the volunteer janitor (my father) who claim the spotlight.

At times, doesn’t motherhood seem similar to my elephant experience? I mean, if you’re anything like me, for years, we dream of the day when we will be mothers, and when that wonderful day comes, somewhere between the diapers and no sleep we are surprised that it’s not quite the perfection we imagined. But even with the alarming differences there also comes the humor, the memories, the connections made between women, and a strength we find within ourselves that we didn’t even know existed. And, in the end, I wouldn’t trade it for anything—even with the vomit.

PJ's and a Bloody Nose

Wed, 02 May 2012 23:23:00 -0600

About a year ago, some friends and I decided it would be fun to take our kids to one of those indoor bounce houses. That morning, while I was choosing my kids’ outfits for the day, I had the impression to call my sister. She had just had her second baby, and I knew she was feeling overwhelmed. Sure enough, as soon as I called, she broke into tears. I offered to take her three-year-old daughter with me on my outing, which she gratefully accepted. Then I asked her if she needed a visit right away. Again her answer was in the affirmative. So I threw on a sweatshirt, my hair went up in a ponytail, I left my face clear of any makeup, and threw all my kids’ clothes and hair accessories into a large bag. “I’ll just get them ready at my sister’s house,” I thought. Hmmm, yeah.

Twenty minutes later, as I pulled into her driveway, I looked around me and realized I HAD FORGOTTEN THE BAG OF THE KIDS’ CLOTHES. And I didn’t have time to run back to my house. Which meant I would be taking my kids to the bounce house in their PJs. Luckily, my sister’s daughter is the same age as my son, so she had some gray skinny jeans and a John Deere T-shirt that fit. He was dressed in girls’ clothes, but he was dressed. My daughter would have to stay in her jammies.

When I arrived at the bounce house it was packed. While my friends all showed up looking like they had just got back from the salon, their well-dressed kids in tow, we arrived frazzled and mismatched.

Cue the next disaster.

My son bonked his nose, which started bleeding. That bloody nose, mixed with tears and snot, was now applied to my sweatshirt. And it made him grumpy the rest of the time. At one point he stood at the top of a huge slide, and then screamed for me to help him down. I was nine months pregnant and CLEARLY past the weight limit on the slide, I had to try and talk him down, semi-yelling at him so he could hear me over his own howling. At one point a woman came up and asked me, “So . . . where are you from?” The look and tone of her voice left me knowing she was thinking the local homeless shelter.

Do you remember what started my hectic day?

Ah, yes. I was acting on a prompting to call my sister.

Have you ever had moments like this? When you try to do something good, and something goes wrong? Or someone misinterprets your actions and leaves you questioning the promptings from Heavenly Father?

A couple of weeks ago I read something that I found interesting. In James Ferrell’s new book Falling to Heaven, he says that there’s a difference between being HUMILIATED and being HUMBLE. Humiliation is still a form of pride—worrying about what other people may think of you. (Like the woman at the bounce house who thought I was homeless.) Being humble is knowing that without God, we are nothing. It’s not an absence of self-worth—we’re His children and He loves us. But when we recognize the lack of our own strength, we’re more likely to rely on His.

The three of us joke that our sometimes-humiliating experiences in Mercy River keep us humble. But I’m starting to see that’s not entirely true. Heavenly Father’s goal is not to humiliate us, but maybe to help us learn to completely trust in Him. Maybe it’s to teach us to let go of the world’s opinion. Sometimes we receive promptings from the Lord but we hesitate to follow them out of fear of what others may think of us. My mind is filled with examples; walking out of an immoral movie and being ridiculed by friends, standing up to a coworker and losing your job, being shunned from your family for following your faith, reaching out to a neighbor and getting rejected. But just because the outcome isn’t immediately positive, doesn’t mean we were wrong in following that inspiration.

I could’ve chosen to turn my car back around and drive home to retrieve the bag, but I knew my sister needed me more. I knew what my family would look like at the bounce house, but I decided my sister was more important. And in the end, I’m glad I chose to follow that prompting.

Is there a prompting YOU’VE been scared to follow? Are you afraid of what others may think of you?

Chin up! Follow it! You have what it takes, and our Father is rooting for you.

Ode to the Mama!

Tue, 01 May 2012 16:12:00 -0600

by DeAnne Flynn & Emily Watts

Funny and Fun thoughts on motherhood you’ll want to share! From TOFW Presenters DeAnne Flynn & Emily Watts.

Need a Nap? --DeAnne Flynn

Believing I would readily relate, a weary mother of eight once shared the following story. Although penned by an unknown author, it may strike a very familiar chord with you.

“An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from her collar and well-fed belly that she had a home and was well taken care of. She calmly came over to me, I gave her a few pats on the head; she then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in a corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, she went to the door and I let her out.

The next day she was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed her spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to her collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful, sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’

The next day she arrived for her nap, with a different note pinned to her collar: ‘She lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3. She’s trying to catch up on sleep…

Can I come over tomorrow?’ ”

Pat Your Back & Toot Your Horn – Emily Watts

I recently read on a young mother’s blog, “There’s quite a culture of being an awesome mom around here. It can be hard to keep up.”

I knew just what she meant. But I also know the remedy. Maybe, if this is your challenge, you’re trying to keep up with the wrong people. I happen to think comparisons are just an exercise in futility anyway, since you can never really know all the factors that should be weighed in the balance, but if you’re going to insist on comparing yourself to someone else, what would happen if you chose a different someone?

In many places and families in the world:

• a meal of vitamin-fortified cold cereal with real milk on it would be a nutritional luxury unheard of—let alone a second meal on the same day of peanut butter on two full slices of bread. (Now do you feel less guilty about what you fed your kids today?)

• nine hundred square feet of living space for a single family would be considered spacious. (I tell my house, “It’s not your fault you were built in this neighborhood. In New York, you’d be a $2,000,000 condo.”)

• children are taken to church two or three times a year. (How does this change your perspective about having spent an hour and a half in the foyer—again?)

When my daughter’s first baby was born, a friend of mine expressed more excitement than I had really expected. He explained his reaction: “It just makes me so happy to think of a spirit child of Heavenly Father getting to come to a family that really wants her, that will love her and take care of her and be so happy she came.” I may not have been able to provide every wonderful thing for my kids—but that kind of love? That, I could do. And that’s the only thing I really need to keep up with.

VIDEO: Need a Change of Behavior?

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 23:59:00 -0600

Who knew the answer to solving a problem and changing poor behavior would be...forgiveness.
Wendy Ulrich shares an important and life changing lesson she learned while seeking forgiveness from her young son.

Growing Into Motherhood

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I love spring.

It’s a magical season of transformation and renewal - not only for the earth, but also for each one of us.

This spring, I received an unexpected and inspiring gift - a beautiful, bright yellow daffodil sprouting through the center of my front lawn.

At first I didn’t recognize this peculiarly planted flower as a tender mercy. Yet as I began to notice the extraordinary affect it was having on all who graced my path, those blooms seemed anything but accidental.

Upon seeing this flower, my front door visitors often chuckle, quickly surmising that an unsuspecting bulb must have been inadvertently moved from a flowerbed to that innovative spot prior to winter snow.

Curious admirers have marveled how this outwardly delicate plant ever managed to press through the thick, dark sod when it felt the instinctive drive to grow and become literally reborn after weathering the cold.

Sound like a metaphor-in-the-making?

Well, if you’re anything like this brave daffodil, there have been countless times when you’ve felt alone or displaced - times when you’ve stood tall instead of blending in, when you’ve struggled to emerge victorious through a seemingly insurmountable barrier, or when you’ve discovered that you’re suddenly WAY outside of your comfort zone.

Personally, this flower is a striking symbol of my own motherhood.

In fact, I’ve never felt more out of place than I did after giving birth to my first child.

Now it’s important for you to understand that I had dreamed, planned, and prepared to become a mother ever since I was an embryo. (Or, in keeping with our metaphor, ever since I was a tiny seed or bud-of-a-girl.)

Motherhood was that for which I’d hoped, prayed, yearned, and even babysat free-of-charge on multiple occasions – just for the sheer “experience” of it all!

But when I was actually at home, with a colicky baby, recovering from a C-Section, away from my career, my friends, and the fast-paced lifestyle I had created – I found myself to be unexpectedly out of my element.

Feeling oh so insecure and alone, I wondered how I could ever possibly blossom into the mother I had always imagined I would become.

Everyone else seemed to be thriving.

What was wrong with me?

Was I reaping what I had sown?

After MANY hours on my knees in earnest prayer, and after daily nourishing my faith, testimony, and my young son with patience and love – even when I didn’t feel completely natural while doing it – slowly, steadily, instinctively, something inside of me began to change.

I began to be transformed.

My mother-heart began to blossom!

And as I learned to push through my occasional dark feelings – like that daffodil pushing through the thick, heavy sod on my front lawn – I was, and still am, repeatedly renewed by heaven-sent, revitalizing light.

I now recognize and truly appreciate my God-given mission. I really do.

And I can genuinely say that I love being the mother of children. (Even though I’ll forever be cultivating refinement in my stewardship.)

Without question, the Master Gardner sees each of us perfectly - sometimes struggling to fulfill the measure of our creation, occasionally feeling as though we are destined for something far different than our present setting here on earth, perhaps wishing for something less stressful, more exciting, and much, much simpler.

But when we nourish those skills that will help us to bloom and thrive…

We can then “arise and shine forth.”

WHEREVER we are planted.

VIDEO: Angry? That's Okay.

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 08:00:00 -0600

As one of the NEW presenters at TOFW this year, Julie de Azevedo Hanks shares what it means to be our AUTHENTIC SELF...which is to let yourself have FEELINGS...even if at times that might be "angry" feelings.

Tarantulas & American Idol

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I remember a feeling of pure terror. Knowing what I was going to face and knowing that there was no way I was going to back down, made my teeth chatter and my body shake with fear. I had never done anything like this. Who had?

I remember a feeling of pure terror.

Knowing what I was going to face and knowing that there was no way I was going to back down, made my teeth chatter and my body shake with fear. I had never done anything like this. Who had?

Then I heard the countdown.

“In five…four…three…two…one…GO!”

At the age seventeen, I did what only one in about 100,000 had done. I tried out for the number one television show in America, and made it into the Top Six of American Idol, Season 2 before being eliminated. I stood up in front of millions of viewers and shakily sang my heart out to try and win over voters and three judges. It was thrilling to be a part of this, but it was also extremely challenging. I was exposed to so many worldly things: drugs, alcohol, immorality, inappropriate movies and music, you name it; every dark thing was there right in front of me.

People often ask “How did you do it, Carmen? Were you ever afraid?”

The honest answer is, YES.

But I had help from heaven.

My parents were wonderful examples to me of how to call upon Heavenly Father for protection and guidance. I, like Nephi was “born of goodly parents” who raised me up in righteousness and I prayed for strength and guidance. I didn’t exactly know where this experience would take me, but I knew that millions of people were watching and I was determined to live the standards I had been taught and do my best to be an example.

I learned something profound from my American Idol experience, something that I still look back on with wonder; something that strengthens my testimony every time I think about it. It is this: when I make a commitment to serve the Lord and live righteously, He encircles me about in the arms of His love. With that love comes a protection that is unlike anything in this world, a protection I truly yearn for.

One of my favorite scriptures is D&C 68:6. It reads: “Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.”

I always try to live my life in a way that invites the Holy Ghost to be my constant companion, yet there have been many times in my life when I’ve been tempted to give in to my fears.

It seems rather ironic that someone who had such a hard time facing her fears on a reality show would voluntarily agree to appear on another one that promotes it. I’m talking about the ultimate show in frightful entertainment: Fear Factor.

As I listened to that final countdown from Joe Rogan, host of Fear Factor and felt the rickety old sled which I lay handcuffed and body-chained in being wheeled slowly down a rickety old tunnel in which five, ten, twenty huge tarantulas awaited me, I felt myself mentally step it up a notch.

I am in a tunnel, I thought. I am going to be buried in spiders the size of my fist. They will most likely try to harm me. But it won’t be for long. I’m strong. I can do this. People are watching. I can’t chicken out.

As it turns out, my partner wasn’t able to find the final key to unlock the track my sled was on to wheel me back in to safety. I was in that dark tunnel facing my worst fear for twenty-five minutes. They had to stop filming and have a safety crew wheel me back in. Because I was so terrified a spider might try to climb into my mouth while I was stuck lying at the back of the tunnel, I pressed my mouth shut so hard, I damaged a nerve in my bottom lip.

But I was okay. I survived. Even days later when the painful hairs from the tarantula were still stuck in my skin and the sting from their bites made me feel ill, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I thought if I could do that, I could do anything!

Since then, I’ve had to rely on the Lord many times for His help. So far, I haven’t come close to anything quite as traumatizing as having huge spiders thrown on my face. But there are times when I’ve thought, “I am in the dark here. I may have to face another of my greatest fears. There may be people out to harm me.” But I know it won’t be for long. I am strong with the Lord by side. I “fear not what man”-(or insect)-“can do, for God shall be with [me].” (D&C 122:9).

I know that when I firmly put my faith in Him, I am blessed with strength beyond my own. “And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.” (Luke 1:50.)

Despite my troubles and worries, I always try to remember:

God is the only one I really need to fear.

It's Temporary

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Lately I have a new perspective on mortal ailments and weaknesses . . . they are all temporary!

I very seldom use the word “hate” because I feel it’s such a strong word, but I do hate drilling in my teeth. I hate shots in my mouth, and I hate teeth falling out while eating (“I lost my crown” is bad enough literally, but symbolically it would be infinitely worse!).

The Lord said to the Prophet Joseph Smith, “thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7), and He also repeatedly said “what I say unto one I say unto all” (Doctrine and Covenants 61:18, 36; 82:5; 93:49). So that means me, too: my afflictions will last only a “small moment.”

So, for this small moment of mortal probation, in which God uses an incredible variety of methods to shake us up, to jolt us, and keep us humble by putting us through our own custom-made crucibles, don’t you think it’s good for us to keep the perspective of “they’re only temporary”?

The Lord also hinted to Joseph Smith, “if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:8). Again, He’s saying that to you and me, too. In a sense the all-wise God of Heaven is saying to every one of His children, “Look, you’re going to endure it . . . so you might as well endure it well!” Then we will triumph over all our foes, including all those pesky physical and emotional ailments and afflictions.

These things that are so temporary have everlasting repercussions. The nuisances of ailments and the pains of afflictions do play their role in our long-term objective: happiness both in this world and in the world to come.

I recall some years ago when we lived in a country on the other side of the world, where little beasties proliferate throughout the year and have a way of invading our private home-space. We called in a fumigator, and while he did his exterminating work, he struck up a conversation with my wife. I overheard one remark he made: “Oh yes, Mormons . . . you’re the people who don’t have any fun!”

The fumigator’s comment provoked me to reflect: Are we “having fun” yet? Shouldn’t Latter-day Saints—at least those who know and live the gospel—be among the happiest people in the world? For sure. Those who live up to the eternal truths we believe are definitely happy. And when each painful ordeal strikes, as they inevitably will, we endure it with our unique perspective: “It’s all very temporary.”

Creative Exchange {DIY Link Party}

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by TOFW

Whether it is preparing a meal, designing something to display in your home, or creating meaningful experiences for others, we create in large and small ways every single day. We want to hear how YOU are Seeking the Good by sharing your unique gifts, so blog about something YOU created and join our April Link Party (instructions below)! But first, here is a little inspiration from President Uchtdorf to spark your creativity.

Here's how to participate in TOFW's April Link Party:

1. SHARE something that YOU have created on your blog. This could be a poem you wrote, a picture you took, your own DIY ("do it yourself") project, or ANYTHING else you have created.

2. Make sure you include a link back to this story on TOFW.com. Just copy and paste the code in the text box below in your HTML editor.

3. Click on the text below that says "Click here to enter" and fill out the information (your name, the address of your post, and a thumbnail image of what you shared). Your thumbnail will display below and will direct everyone who clicks on it back to your blog.

We can't wait to see how creaive you can be! Please let your friends know about the party--everyone is invited and we want as many women as possible to see your great ideas!

94 Shares

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

94 shares.

I'm not referring to stock.

Facebook shares. You know - when someone reads your Facebook post and they like it enough to share it on their Facebook page with their friends.

I recently posted this:

...and my post got 94 shares.

That is a record for me. (Not that I keep track - I don't. More accurately, it caught my attention because I was surprised by how many people seemed to connect with this message.)

What is it about this quote?

I happened to post it on a day when I was feeling a discouraged. I posted it because I personally needed the reminder that

...I am not a quitter, giver-upper, walk-awayer person (even when things are hard)
...I am willing to face challenges
...the climb, the effort, is worth it and I will eventually reach the top
...every step matters - and with each step I'm closer to my goal
...my efforts yesterday made a difference - so I will try again today
...great accomplishments often require great sacrifice
...this is about who I am becoming

In his General Conference address, "The Challenge to Become," Elder Dallin H. Oaks teaches us that "most of us experience some measure of what the scriptures call the 'furnace of affliction.' Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquility."

Like the man climbing the stairs in the picture. Every muscle engaged. Hard work and perhaps even fatigue manifest in a soaked shirt. There's no way to tell how many more stairs he has to climb or how close he is to the top - because we can't see the top.

Elder Oaks assures, "Through the justice and mercy of a loving Father in Heaven, the refinement and sanctification possible through such experiences can help us achieve what God desires us to become."

Father Lehi promised Jacob that God would "consecrate [his] afflictions for [his] gain." (2 Nephi 2:2)

The prophet Joseph was promised that "thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." (D&C 121:7-8)

The climb is important. Finishing is important. Reaching the top is important.

But it isn't as much about reaching the top as it is about

who will have become by the time you reach the top.

Keep climbing.

You are closer than you were yesterday.

An Easter Declaration

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

by TOFW

As Easter approaches, our thoughts are turned to our Savior, Jesus Christ. We hope you enjoy this beautiful video as a reminder or His life, His teachings, and His sacrifice for each one of us. We invite you to ponder what the Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ mean to you personally.

See more Easter videos and testimonies of Christ at Mormon.org

What experiences in your life have strengthened your faith in Christ?

Share your thoughts below.

Conference As A Prophet's Daughter

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Sunday morning in April of 1958, Mother got the five of us out of bed and said, “I think we should go down to the Tabernacle for Conference.” We’d never done that, but it sounded fine to me. I don’t remember thinking it was strange—or stranger still that we were all going and Dad wasn’t with us. But then, how clueless is a thirteen year old about what’s going on in the family?!

So off we went, only to get to the doors and find that there were no more seats. And you know how those ushers are—there’s no getting around them! So Mother promptly said, “Let’s just go back to the car and we’ll drive to Grandma’s and watch it with her.”

As we were walking back through the block, we met one of the members of the First Presidency going toward the Tabernacle. He stopped and said to say hello to Mother. As he shook her hand, he said, “Well, it’s a big day for you. Where are you going?”

Sure, I thought. It is a big day. It’s General Conference.

She told him that we had been over to the Tabernacle and hadn’t been able to get a seat and he said, “Come with me.” We all turned around and sailed right through a door and seats magically appeared. Pretty neat.

I loved it. I loved the curvy bench and the poles that were painted to look like marble. I loved the organ pipes and the way the balcony wrapped around the interior of the building. But most of all I loved that feeling of all being together in a place where important things were about to happen. Everyone else, it seemed, was happy to be there, too.

The organ gave way to the choir and the choir gave way to the sustaining of the General Authorities and General Officers of the Church. And then the name of “Gordon B. Hinckley” as an Assistant to the Twelve, was presented for a sustaining vote. We all wheeled in unison to look at Mother, who simply smiled back.

Hmm. So that’s why we came to Conference. So that’s why it was “a big day for us.” So that’s why seats had magically appeared.

At that moment, General Conferences in April and October became even more than they had been in the past for our family. They took on the proportions of Christmas and the Fourth of July to create the rhythm of the calendar. First you have Christmas, then you were getting ready for Conference, then you have the Fourth of July and then Conference again. We always seemed to be heading into something exciting.

Conference became more than a weekend event. We saw Dad starting to worry, work on talks, and prepare for meetings during the weeks preceding Conference. Mother did grocery shopping and made food preparations ahead so that everything would be easy. There were extra meetings the week before and the week after. People from afar were coming to town, often gathering at our home on Sunday afternoon after the last session of conference. Lots of hugging. Lots of togetherness.

In fact, during my adult years when my own little family lived away from Salt Lake my homesickness always peaked during Conference weekend. I could do Christmas and summer away from family, but watching Conference on television hundreds of miles away from Salt Lake City simply tore a little hole in my heart.

That’s not to say that I don’t love curling up on my sofa with a snack nearby to feast upon the Word in the comfort of my own home. I don’t need to be in the Conference Center, but I’m glad I’ve been there. I’m glad I’ve felt the excitement that hovers over that block as my brothers and sisters from all over the world come together to hear counsel and comfort from His anointed servants. It’s called “gathering” and it’s pretty good stuff. And if I had a magic wand I would make sure every one of the 13 million of us could be here—at least once. But, when you get it streaming into your computer and the camera shows all of the people converging on the building in the center of Zion, would you just imagine yourself right there in the middle of it all. Because you are, you know. Gathering isn’t just a physical thing. It’s a gathering of hearts and hopes. Of faith and righteous desires. Of love and testimony.

Welcome to General Conference, 2012. It’s good to be gathered together with every single one of you!

VIDEO: Do I Have Charity?

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:41:00 -0600

How would you define Charity? Is it an act? An emotion? An attribute? Is it something you do or something you are? Listen as TOFW presenter Anthony Sweat shares some insights about the pure love of Christ and some indicators you can watch for to know that charity is operating in your life.

Mormon Taking the Lead on BROADWAY

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:00:00 -0600

Photo courtesy of Joan Marcus

Warning: New girl on the blog! I come in peace. (How else would i come, really?) Allow me to introduce myself...

My name is Sandra Turley. I am a wife, a mother of 3, a constant thinker, a late-blooming reader, an over-organizer, a teenager in a 33 year old body, a pinterest aficionada and…oh yah, a happily retired Broadway actress who is excited to be speaking at Time Out for Girls this year.

My maiden name is Dudley. Sandra Dudley. Yep. Sandra D. Just like in Grease! My whole pre-married life, friends would sing to me: “Look at me, I’m Sandra D” (you know how it goes).

When I was 19, I took a year off of school and was hired at Disney World to spend my days singing as the Little Mermaid. All of my nights were free, so when I heard about an upcoming production of Grease I decided to audition. I was offered the lead – Sandra D was going to play Sandra D! I made it clear to the director that I would accept the part only if I was not asked to smoke or drink on stage. He agreed.

The first day of rehearsals came and the director oddly started off by blocking (fancy word for telling the actors where they are going to stand) the last scene of the show. Immediately he called me to the stage, told me where to stand and informed me that I would then have a “fake cigarette” in my hand. “No big deal” he said, “It’s not real – you just put it in your mouth, inhale and then blow out, but it’s all safe.” I looked at him blankly. Really? We had talked about this already. Was this his solution? I quickly found the right opportunity to speak privately with him. We walked to the back of the theater and I nervously reminded him of our agreement. He then looked at me sternly, and in so many words said: “You’re fired.”

I left the theater in a state of did-that-really-just-happen?!? I had stood up for what I believed, but still, I was fired!

Most of my theater “friends” who heard about the situation made fun of me or assumed I just couldn’t cut it in the business. At first I felt hurt – but ultimately, I was strengthened.

Paul taught this to the Romans and it is surely applicable today:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2).

There is no need for us peculiar people* to conform to the world. Yes, we must take the goodness of the world and enjoy it, but we need not conform to that which is not the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. Rather, we should allow ourselves to be transformed by renewing our commitment to the Lord and to the truthfulness of His gospel.

I introduced myself up front as a happily retired Broadway actress. My years on Broadway were difficult, rewarding, defining and transformative. I have the most wonderful memories to hold close to my heart. Though I claim early retirement from “the business,” I will never retire from singing, sharing the stories I love and using the talents Heavenly Father has given me to spread the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. For His is the best news about which to be singing.

*Deut 14:2

Turley family

VIDEO: Unfulfilled Expectations

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:03:00 -0600

by Camille Fronk Olson

Ever noticed the many stories of women in the Bible who were “barren"? Was infertility just common long ago or is it possible barrenness represents something else? Listen as Time Out for Women Presenter Camille Fronk Olson shares what she believes is the symbolism behind so many Bible stories and what the message is for us today.

WIN a TOFW Tote! Visit the Time Out for Women Facebook page HERE, share the story from our post and you are entered to win. One WINNER(maybe 2) will be chosen and announced TODAY on Facebook at 5pm MT.

Congratulations to our winners: Becki S. & Jennifer B.

VIDEO: A Blessing in Disguise

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Have you ever faced a difficult situation only to later find out that it saved you from an even greater pain? Abe Mills from Jericho Road shares a personal experience that at first glance appeared to be a tragedy, but was ultimately a blessing that saved his son’s life.

Making Sense of It All

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I’m not at all sure how a person, even at age 88, goes from walking around without a single medical problem except Alzheimer’s to breaking a hip to dying – all in 72 hours – but that is what happened to my mother in January. Given her 13-year decline with the disease that also took her mother and two older brothers, we can only count it as a great blessing that she was able to find this escape hatch and dive down it so resolutely, but it still feels like a mystery to me. I will miss her, but I suspect she does not miss living in a world that no longer made sense, surrounded by people she no longer recognized, in a body that no longer felt like home.

For most of her declining years I chafed against an almost constant, nagging guilt for not visiting her more or doing more for her. But crying all the way home every time I did was something I could only handle so much of and still function in the rest of my life, so I guess I chose guilt over wailing and hoped for the best. I tried hard to learn from her experience, hoping it was not me holding her back from her much-anticipated reunion with the mother and brothers she loved, the father who died in her infancy, the husband who preceded her. But I hated her situation too much to be very good at being philosophical about it.

Frankly I just couldn’t make sense out of why she was still here. The things that define my sense of myself – praying, serving, producing, learning, connecting with family and friends – were all lost to her. She could no longer write her name, compose a prayer of more than four words, answer a question, make any decision. Awful. Only at her funeral and in the days since have I started to understand my mother’s life differently. It began as I realized from her eulogy that my mother never defined herself, as I tend to, by products or achievements or to-do lists. Her world was about smiling at strangers, walking the dog, playing with children, joking with acquaintances, caring for the underdog, and appreciating beauty and goodness in the world. These are things I am not at all good at, but they are the things her grandchildren remember her for, things she held onto until the very end. The last thing I saw my mother do before her fatal fall was smile a huge greeting to the new woman moving into her care facility, patting her kindly on the shoulder. Mom was her own little one-woman welcoming committee. I think she honestly thought that was why she was there. And I guess she had that right.

I may have been miserable about my mother’s disease, but she was just fine. She had the courage, stamina, faith, and attitude to make her life work even when her brain did not, and I have no question but that she managed all of that far better than I will.

Sometimes, just when we think we are strong, we realize there are other kinds of strength we know little about, other ways of living that give people skills for meeting challenges we would fold beneath. My mother could no longer write her name, but I have no question that it is written in the Book of Life.

Remodeling 101

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:02:00 -0600

This year my husband and I had the opportunity to do some remodeling in our kitchen. It’s our first “big” remodel in our home, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I mean, I’ve seen dozens of design and remodeling shows on TV, so I could totally pull this off, right? The hosts of those afore mentioned programs are always warning the viewers to “expect the unexpected”, and “plan on it not going exactly as planned.” But I just KNEW my situation would be smooth sailing. I would schedule each company within a couple days of each other, and yes, I would have to live in chaos for a couple weeks, but after that? Bliss.

But then things started to go wrong-the countertop company’s measurements were off and had to re-cut the material. The appliances were backordered for a month. My husband, (bless his heart) got a little excited and sold our old appliances a little early...as in 3 weeks too early, leaving me with no appliances during the month of December.The tile company took longer than expected. The painters were a couple days late. I could keep going but I’ll stop there.

How could this happen? I made a PLAN! I had it organized! I had it arranged it so perfectly! I did everything I could to prepare myself for the 2 weeks of chaos! (Which ended up being about 8 weeks.) I had been warned by professionals that it may not go perfectly, I was just naive enough to believe it wouldn’t happen to ME.

And then I had the thought-I think this happens in life. A lot. We make a plan to have a perfect marriage, we do everything we can to have righteous and obedient children, we work harder than any other employee in our company, we eat healthy and exercise, and then it happens. Marriage isn’t coming our way, we suffer with infertility, spouses leave, kids fall away from the Gospel and everything we've taught them, we’re let go from our job, sickness and disease strike. Despite the planning and work we may have put into it, sometimes things just don’t turn out exactly as we expected. And maybe that’s because we’re relying on OUR plan, and not THE plan. There is a plan for us that is greater than anything we could expect. And although I know we are blessed for the work and effort we put into our lives, there may be other blessings that we need-ones we haven’t thought of. There may be traits we’re lacking when it comes to being more like Christ. And the only way we’ll recognize them is through those disruptions in our plan.

The finished product!
What do you think?

So what did I learn from my kitchen experience? I learned to trust those decorating shows. I learned that traditions can come out of any situation. (We have now scheduled a “breakfast picnic” in the front room for every December 15th.) I’ve learned to never take an oven for granted. And I’ve felt humble gratitude numerous times for the blessings that I have. And in the end, my kitchen turned out better than I expected. I have faith in knowing that with our Savior’s help, and with a bit of hard work and endurance, we’ll be able to look back on ourselves and see that we too, turned out better than we expected.

VIDEO: The Danger of Treading Water

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 08:00:00 -0600

There’s not much room for growth and progression inside your comfort zone. In fact, it can get pretty crowded in there! So why not step outside to the opportunities that await you? Listen as Time Out for Women Presenter Emily Watts shares an invitation that will help you stretch beyond your boundaries and discover new possibilities.

Aloha!

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Have you ever been to Hawaii? It’s one place that really looks like the pictures, paintings, and posters.

Even if you haven’t been there, have you ever known someone who would begin a lesson or talk with the word “Aloha!,” inviting everyone to respond? Sister Chieko Okazaki used to do this, and it was like a “magnet” that brought everyone together.

I’ve had a chance to go to Hawaii several times, and I really enjoy the “spirit of Aloha” which is there.

There is a custom in some of the LDS Wards where, after Sacrament meeting, any who are leaving the islands are invited to come to the front, and the audience sings the tender farewell song, “Aloha Oe,” in Hawaiian.

This has happened to me a few times, and I haven’t been able to avoid the emotion of it, the tears. Some of this is because I’ve noticed that many of those who are singing are weeping.

I asked my friends Audrey and Jerry why this happens, and they said that when they sing they’re thinking of their ancestors, their loved ones.

I found a translation of the words, written by Queen Lili`uokalani [10 extra points if you can pronounce her beautiful name].

One verse shares these thoughts:

Sweet memories come back to me

Bringing fresh remembrances of the past

Dearest one, yes, you are mine own

From you, true love shall never depart

No wonder this fond farewell often brings tears to those who sing it and to those who hear it. “One fond embrace until we meet again.”

Hawaiians believe that words have deep meanings, and “Aloha” is one of the most sacred and powerful. It’s a word not to be trivialized by using it carelessly or without sincerity. It is to be used only if we truly feel “Aloha” within our hearts.

Elder John H. Groberg loves this word, stating that it is the spirit of the gospel. In a message he gave, he pleaded that the people not lose “the soul-saving qualities as commonly encompassed in the word ‘Aloha.’ Don’t let frustration or cynicism or materialism or sin canker your soul and rob you of the life-giving joy of service.”

(Alf Pratte, “News of the Church,” Ensign, Aug. 1978, 76)

While in English the word “Aloha” is used to say hello and goodbye, in the Hawaiian language it’s more than a word of greeting or farewell. It encompasses love, affection, sympathy, compassion, mercy, pity, kindness, and grace.

Maybe we could say that “Aloha never faileth.”

The “Aloha Spirit” is so important in Hawaii that it’s even part of state law.

The statute reminds Hawaii’s people that the “Aloha Spirit” is to be shared.

“Aloha” includes hearing what is not said, seeing what cannot be seen, and knowing that which cannot be known.

Imagine living by such beautiful thoughts, such beautiful words. Doesn’t it remind you of a Christ-like way of living and being? That’s what it has done and continues to do for me.

“Aloha” is something that must be experienced in order to be understood.

How about giving it a try?

Even with my still limited experience and understanding, I really mean it when I send to each of you a warm “ALOHA!”

I think I can hear you responding; MAHALO! (Thank you!) We’ll talk about that word another time.

Albuquerque 2012 TOFW Event DVD

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 12:57:00 -0700

by TOFW

Now available for purchase only thru Mon, March 26th!

You can relive your Albuquerque TIME OUT experience (or if you missed it, now is your chance to see it!). This 2-disc set contains full length presentations and music from the following:

Mariama Kallon

DeAnne Flynn

Anthony Sweat

Wendy Ulrich

Laurel Christensen

Heidi Swinton

Dean Hughes

…and select music from Hilary Weeks & Jenny Oaks Baker

Continue to SEEK THE GOOD in your own life…and in the comfort of your own home!

**Click here to order your Albuquerque TOFW Event DVD

Idaho Falls 2012 Event DVD

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 12:05:00 -0700

by TOFW

Now available for purchase only thru Mon, March 26th!

You can relive your Idaho Falls TIME OUT experience (or if you missed it, now is your chance to see it!). This 2-disc set contains full length presentations and music from the following:

Mary Ellen Edmunds

Emily Watts

D. Kelly Ogden

Merrilee Boyack

Emily Freeman

John Bytheway

Virginia H. Pearce

…and select music from Jericho Road

Continue to SEEK THE GOOD in your own life…and in the comfort of your own home!

**Click here to order your Idaho Falls TOFW Event DVD

Contest Winner {March Link Party}

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 13:30:00 -0700

by TOFW

And the winner of our March Link Party is....

Southwest by Southwest blogger, Emily N.

Congratulations, Emily! We will be sending you your very own copy of Our Best Bites: Mormon Moms in the Kitchen.

Thank you to everyone who participated! We enjoyed seeing What Brings YOU Joy.

Join us at TOFW.com on Friday, April 13th for our next Link Party.

Winner Announced: Mercy River's Contest Giveaway

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:02:00 -0700

by TOFW

TOFW is giving away copies of Mercy River's new album, Higher, all week! Check back daily for contest details and to find out if YOU are a winner!

Congratulations to all of our contest winners! Each will receive an autographed copy of Higher.

Listen to samples from Higher

PREVIOUS CONTEST & WINNERS:

DAY 1: Leave a comment below Whitney's blog post.
Winner: Danielle P.

DAY 2: Visit our TOFW facebook page to tell us how many children you think the Mercy River girls have. (The correct answer is 13!)
Winner: Leontyne H.

DAY 3: Tell us your favorite Mercy River Song.
Winner: Darla A. (I Will Be Ready Then)

DAY 4: How many years has Mercy River been performing with Time Out for Women?
Answer: 4 years (2008, 2010, 2011, and 2012)
Winner: Tiffany D.

DAY 5: What are Soni, Brooke & Whitney's secret talents?
Answer: Soni can drive with her knees, Whitney can flare her nostrils and Brooke can touch her nose with her tongue! Learn more fun trivia about Mercy River by visiting their blog, Mercy River Musings.
Winner: Bobbye H.

Sharing My Family Secrets {Link Party}

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

I have a friend who does a blog series each Sunday where she posts photos and recipes of their family's favorite foods. The subject of a recent Sunday post was cinnamon rolls. Photo after photo of gorgeous, icing-covered, gooey cinnamon rolls. I was hungry. The rolls looked delicious. I WANTED this recipe. As I eagerly scrolled down to check out the recipe for these beautiful creations, I was horrified to read this sentence:

"I promised to never share this recipe so I'm not going to post it, but these cinnamon rolls are a family favorite that we all enjoy!" First, I was crushed. I wanted that recipe!

Then, I was annoyed. Why had she posted all of those pictures, and gotten me so excited about cinnamon rolls, and then specifically not shared the recipe?

So, I called her. Without even saying hello, I greeted her with: "You know you just broke the cardinal rule of food blogging, right? Posting gorgeous pictures of delicious food and not sharing the recipe?!"

She went on to explain that she and her aunt had worked hard to develop the recipe, and that her aunt doesn't share recipes.

Doesn't share recipes? Who doesn't share recipes?!?

And then I remembered a time when I didn't want to share a recipe.

I have a recipe for my mom's pumpkin cookies. They're amazing. The cookie is light and cake-like, and they are topped with a yummy caramel frosting. My little cookies developed quite a following among my friends. And then the day came when someone asked me for the recipe.

Now, normally, I'm a recipe-sharer (The more good food in the world, the better!). But in this case, I was surprised to find I didn't want to share the cookie recipe with anyone. They were MY cookies. People came to ME for those cookies. I wanted to be the ONLY SOURCE of the cookies. Besides, what if I gave the recipe to someone and they ruined the cookies? What if they messed up the frosting, or, heaven forbid, changed the recipe and did something completely crazy like put chocolate chips in them?

Then I came to a grand realization - a recipe is only a pattern. What made my cookies MY cookies was me. No one was going to make the cookies exactly the same way I did. Even if I gave them all the little tricks I've developed to make the cookies turn out the same way every time - they still wouldn't be exactly like my cookies. So, if the recipe would make someone else happy, I should share the recipe.

So, I did.

Sharing something doesn't mean that I lose what I've shared. Even if it is something I have worked hard on. If anything, what I share will be magnified. If something makes us happy, it might make someone else happy, so we should share it.

Recipes. Jokes. Favorite songs. Art. Sewing tips. Insights. The Gospel.

In honor of sharing, I'm sharing my pumpkin cookie recipe with you (and you can even add chocolate chips if you want. I've heard it's a delicious substitution). Visit my blog for the recipe.

What will you share today?

Do you love finding & sharing fabulous new ideas, projects, and products? If so, join our March Link Party & share something YOU LOVE and be entered to win Our Best Bites cookbook! The winner will be announced this Friday.

Here's how to participate:

1. SHARE something that makes you happy on your blog. As Macy suggested, this could be recipes, jokes, favorite songs, art, sewing tips, insight, the Gospel, or ANYTHING else that brings you joy.
2. Make sure your post includes a link back to this story on TOFW.com. Just copy and paste the code in the text box below in your HTML editor.

We can't wait to see all the wonderful things YOU will share!

Now That's "Pretty Darn Funny"

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 04:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

Every once in a while we find something that we can’t keep to ourselves because we love it so much! And this time it is FUNNY. And who doesn’t love FUNNY? Personally, I think we all need a little more of it in our lives, and we think we’ve finally found the perfect fix for that.

Deseret Book Company is producing a new web series called PRETTY DARN FUNNY. It launches APRIL 2nd. You will love the cast—a dynamic group of value-centered women and mothers who are trying to clean up the comedy scene by starting their own hilarious troupe of funny. Filled with ridiculous happenings as varied as the personalities in them, this web series might be JUST the dose of funny you are looking for.

But you’re asking, “why are you telling me this if I have to wait until April 2nd?” Well, as a part of our kick-off to Pretty Darn Funny, TOFW has partnered in a contest to see YOUR FUNNY. We want to hear what funny stories you have about life, mothering, vacations, working etc. We want to see which of you can make us snort while we laugh (and yes, some of us do that around here.) And just for sharing, we are entering you into a contest for a CRUISE for 2 compliments of MORRIS MURDOCK TRAVEL. I know…we are pretty nice, aren’t we? I won’t bore you with all the details here, so just go to the PRETTY DARN FUNNY CONTEST PAGE and see what it takes to enter. And if you’re coming to a TOFW event this Spring, we may just have a PRETTY DARN FUNNY booth there, waiting to record your funny story…so come prepared!

And then for those of you who are like me, and a cruise still isn’t enough to convince me to be recorded, and we would rather sit back and watch others make a fool of themselves, just SIGN-UP here and let PDF keep you in the loop of the FUNNY going on, including the launch of the webisode on April 2nd.

Okay, enough FUNNY talk…have a great month!

Chrislyn Woolston

Director, TOFW

VIDEO: The Power of Positive Thinking

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

“Click…Click…Click…” What is all that clicking going on?!? Well, it has something to do with what YOU are thinking! And we’re thinking you WON’T want to miss what Hilary Weeks discovered by doing a fun little experiment with her thoughts. Join Hilary and thousands of other women in the Clicker challenge!

Friday Favorites: Funny Things Kids Say

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 09:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

Children see the world so differently and sometimes thier perspective on things is just plain hilarious. Many of you shared with us funny things your kids have said over the years & we hope you get a good laugh out of some of our favorite responses!

My son Elijah was sitting in his car seat one night with a small container of gold fish. He proceeded to clumsily dump the goldfish out, holding the container to the right of his head. When I, a little impatiently, asked him why he was doing that he said, "Sorry mom. I was trying to dump them into my mouth, but I forgot where my mouth was."

-Erica S.

This year, my 5 year old, Keaton, was learning about the US government in Kindergarten. He came home and was telling me about the Statue of Liberty, the Liberty Bell, etc. When he got to the topic of the White House he said, "then, there's this house...I think it's white...and all the prophets have lived there". I asked him WHO lived there and again,and he said ALL the prophets." When I realized that he was talking about the WHITE HOUSE, I knew he was confusing our use of President of the Church being the Prophet and President of the United States. It still makes me chuckle!!!

-Nikki B.

Two of my kids (ages 3 & 5 at the time) were plying in the bedroom when I heard a loud *CRASH*!! I jumped up from my seat & ran to see what happened & saw that the closet door had somehow fallen off its track & slammed to the ground (wood door + wood floor = loud!) My little girl looked at me in terror, not sure how to react to what had just happened, while my son, cool as a cucumber, just looked at me & said, "Mom, we need to get Jesus in here to fix this!" I love that at such a young age, he already knows that his Savior is where he turns for help! (it's the middle 2 in the picture)

- Michelle P.

My daughter Haley was 4 when she wanted to say her own prayers without help. For the dinner prayer one night, after learning about the prophet and apostles in primary, she said, "Please bless the prophet and his posse... with speed and strength." We managed to contain ourselves until she said “amen,” then had a great laugh.

-Erin O.

In Sharing Time I had the children share their favorite scripture story or something they have learned from the scriptures. My favorite was one who shared the story of Ammon. It went something like this:

"and so he cut off all the robbers' arms - so the king said, 'Whoa! are you God or something?' and Ammon said, 'No, but I am one of his minions...'"

-Dawn A.

When my daughter was 3, we were working with her on identifying the prophet (Gordon B. Hinckley at the time) from a set of photographs. We laid out artwork from the gospel art picture kit on the floor, and included Jesus, Gordon B Hinckley and Joseph Smith. My daughter, who is hearing impaired and at the time used sign language as her main form of communication started to identify the photos. First we pointed to Joseph Smith, to which she signed back that she wasn’t sure or didn’t know. Next we pointed to Jesus whom she identified immediately by pointing to the palms of her hands (The sign for Jesus). Finally we pointed to Gordon B. Hinckley. She thought about it for a while, and then carefully picked up the picture and examined it a bit closer. Finally satisfied that she had the correct answer she signed “Jesus with Glasses.”

-Tamara H.

I was telling my little Whitney, age 4, about how a tornado had hit a building in Billings, MT and that they had been fixing it. She asked, "Did you read that on Facebook?"

-Nicole

When our youngest son was still in school he was always trying to find ways to get out of doing his homework. One night after dinner his dad told him to go do is homework and with out missing a beat our son said, "I can't do my homework 'til my food digests!" He made us all laugh. He is 25 now and has two kids. We can't wait 'til they are in school to tell them what their dad did!

-Theresa M.

We were driving up and down and up and down through the parking lot trying to find a space.

"Mom why don't you just park where there's a blue picture of a man sitting sitting on the toilet" Brighton said with genuine sincerity.

"Because that isn't a man on a toilet, that is for handicapped PEOPLE!" Kennedy said with all the certainty of a 5 year old that knows everything.

-Joanna B.

My 4 year old came into the kitchen where I was talking to 'funny-kiss grandma' while washing dishes and tearfully declared:

"I'm soooooooo sad!"

"Why are you sad?" I asked.

"Because I LOST MY SMILE!"

It only took a couple of tickles for him to find it again and leave giggling.

-Debra B.

While I was upset one day my sweet five year old said, "Mom, the most important thing is that we are with our family, we love God, and if we get in trouble we can pray and talk to God." So wise!

That same kid dropped pencil shavings on the ground and then proceeded to tell me, "I'll let you clean that up while I jump on the trampoline."

Ha ha!

-Amanda I.

One day when our daughter was about four years old, we were driving along and she started asking questions about Satan. My husband and I, seeing this as a teaching opportunity, started out by explaining that he doesn’t have a body like we do. He’s jealous of our bodies and that’s why he tries to get people to do things that hurt their bodies like smoking and other harmful things. Then we went on and on giving way too complicated of an answer for a four year old about who Satan is. When we finally stopped and asked if she had any questions, she simply asked, “You said he doesn’t have a body. You mean, he’s just a HEAD?”

-Dorianne V.

And the winner of this week's giveaway is....Heather! Congratulations! We hope you enjoy your new Wish Upon a Star cd by Grammy nominee Jenny Oaks Baker...and your new dress ;)

While leading the music in Primary this past Sunday my 10 year old son said in a voice loud enough for the entire room to hear “Mom you need to donate that dress to D. I.”

-Heather T.

Winner Announced: RSS Contest

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 08:27:00 -0700

by TOFW

Last week we shared a way you can keep up with all the latest posts on TOFW.com: the RSS feed. Don't know what an RSS feed is? Go here and we'll tell you all about it.

Simplicity is just a click away. Subscribe today and TOFW's latest posts, videos, and blogs will come right to you so you won't miss a thing.

The winner of TOFW's RSS Contest is Ann S. Congratulations, Ann!

VIDEO: Selfish or Selfless?

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 10:30:00 -0700

Do you forget to put [INSERT YOUR OWN NAME HERE] on your priority list? When the list gets long and life gets crazy, are you the last thing that gets looked at? Licensed Clinical Social Worker and therapist, and Time Out for Women presenter Julie de Azevedo Hanks shares some insights about the importance of making YOU a priority in your life.

Too Much of A Good Thing?

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0700

I am not known for being the world’s neatest person. When I got married, my sisters and my roommates tried to warn my future husband about my messy tendencies. Everyday clutter just seems to follow me wherever I go and I don’t even really realize it until I look over onto my nightstand and discover that’s where all our drinking glasses are, all about ½ full with room temperature water. Seriously, I’m like the little girl from the movie Signs.

The strange flip side of this is that I am almost obsessively clean, and right at the top of my love-to-clean list is doing laundry. When my husband graduated from BYU and was offered a job as an engineer at a facility that manufactures laundry detergent, we were ecstatic because not only were the seemingly never-ending years of college poverty and stress ending, but it also meant and endless supply of laundry detergent. More of it than I could ever want. When we bought our house, I devoted an entire closet to our laundry detergent collection. I spent a lot of time arranging and rearranging it—by brand, by size, by when we received it. When life got hectic, I would hide from my children in my laundry closet and take a few deep breaths of fabric softener-scented air and all was well in my world.

But then something happened. Life got crazy. I became the Primary President in my ward. I discovered that school-age kids have a lot more time-consuming obligations than babies and toddlers. My little hobby blog turned into a full-fledged business, complete with all the wonderful and stressful things that accompany being self-employed. My blog partner and I wrote and promoted a book and then wrote another one. In a moment of insanity, I bought a puppy who thinks she’s a human baby. My husband often works 12-hour (or longer) days 6 days a week. Over a period of two weeks, I convinced myself I was dying of some sort of terminal reproductive disorder and then actually laughed when I saw the word “pregnant” show up on a home test because, of course, that was the most obvious diagnosis for my symptoms.

I’ll be honest: sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning.

I didn’t realize how thinly spread I felt until a) Sara and I started putting together our presentation for Time Out for Women and I kept thinking, “How in the world am I supposed to discuss the blessings of motherhood when I literally have a nightly countdown for when my kids go to bed?!” and b) my friend came over, opened my laundry closet to witness the wonders within, only to discover that it was in shambles. I couldn’t get to the powdered Tide in the corner without very possibly injuring myself.

I had too much laundry detergent. I had too much of a good thing. Something had to go. I immediately thought of Elder Oaks’ October 2007 General Conference talk, “Good, Better, Best” and Elder Uchtdorf’s October 2010 talk, “Of Things that Matter Most.” I went back and read them. I cried. In his address, Elder Uchtdorf said,

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

Ummm, hello. That was meI knew it was time to simplify.

So 2012 is my year of clearing out the clutter—figuring out what’s necessary, what’s best in my life and letting everything else go. If you’re feeling a little stressed, a little overwhelmed, kind of wishing you could go on a vacation by yourself, I’m willing to bet you have your own version of a messy laundry detergent closet somewhere. See what you can get rid of. Because even though those 20 bottles of fabric softener are good, 3 bottles that fit neatly into my closet are even better.

CONTEST: Do You RSS?

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 08:03:00 -0700

by TOFW

Does your life and "to-do" list get a little crazy at times? Are you looking for ways to simplify? Well, we might not be able to help with the errands, the laundry or that report you're working on, but we CAN help you keep up with all of the great posts on TOFW.com with one simple click!

Are you familiar with RSS feed? Promise it's quick, easy, and will become your new best friend.

When you subscribe to an RSS or "really simple syndication" feed, new content from your favorite blogs and websites will come directly to you. You can use a feed reader such as Google Reader or Bloglines or simply save the feed in your browser's Favorites Folder. Each time something new is posted, it will appear in your feed. The content may display differently than on the website, but you won't miss a thing and you no longer need to hassle with bookmarks or manually visiting all your favorite sites.

Here is an example of how your feed will be displayed:

TOFW.com offers several RSS feed subscription options. You can subscribe to ALL updates so that each time we post a new blog, video, or message on TOFW.com it will come directly to you. Or if you would prefer to only receive updates about your favorite category (TOFW Blog, Featured Blogs, Women Like You or Videos) you can subscribe to a specific feed.

It's easy. It's free. It will simplify your life and keep you in the loop. So take a moment right now...we'll wait ;)...and subscribe! Simply click on the RSS button in the top right corner of TOFW.com or follow this link: TOFW.com RSS feed subscription

And just because we LOVE giving great stuff away from our presenters, subscribe to our RSS feed and leave a comment below and you will be entered to win next week's giveaway. The winner will be announced on Friday, March 2--or watch for it on your RSS feed!

VIDEO: Three Simple Words

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 09:42:00 -0700

Our reaction to the tragedies and sorrows of life will determine our happiness. TOFW presenter Chris Williams survived a terrible car accident that claimed the life of his wife and several of their children. Listen as he shares the three life-changing words that came to his mind just moments after their vehicle was hit and how those simple words brought him peace.

A Crown, A Castle, and a Kingdom

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 15:20:00 -0700

The other day I was driving down the road taking my 11 year old daughter to basketball practice. The stereo was on and a new song by a popular band started playing. The chorus went:

I could've been a Princess, You'd be a King

Could've had a castle, and wore a ring

Hearing those lyrics my daughter asked me: “Dad, why does everybody seem to want to be a princess or a king? It seems like every song and every movie out there has to do with something like that.” I was just about ready to enlighten her on the socialization of little girls caused by endless hours of exposure to Disney Princesses J when suddenly a different, more inspired, thought came to my mind in answer to her question. I said, “Honey, people sing and write and make movies about Kings or Queens because deep down inside we know there is something royal within each of us. As sons and daughters of God, our spirit inherently knows that we each have a royal birthright to a crown and castle in the Kingdom of God.”

In the aftermath of the year of William-and-Kate royal wedding infatuation, the thought of a crown, a castle, and a kingdom has come back to me often. To understand our spiritual royalty, we need look no further back than one generation to God our Father. Each of us literally is a prince or a princess, with potential to rule and reign in the kingdom of God.

The thought of crowns, castles, and kingdoms came to me when I went inside the temple and pondered on the fact that I was already admitted entrance into the King’s castle—the Lord’s temple. I thought of crowns, castles, and kingdoms as I read in the scriptures where the Lord tells us to “come up unto the crown prepared for you, and be made rulers over many kingdoms” (D&C 78:15) and that in the resurrection the faithful will inherit “thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers” (D&C 132:19). And I thought of crowns, castles, and kingdoms again as I saw my three year old daughter dress up in princess garb and a tiara, asking me if I thought she was “bootiful.” I thought she was indeed beautiful, and more importantly, divine.

President Lorenzo Snow said of the faithful: “God will give you a crown of unfading glory, and make you kings and queens in the midst of your posterity, to rule in righteousness through the countless ages of eternities” (The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, edited by Clyde J. Williams, p.49). May God bless each of us to see our divine worth and the divine worth of others as people with royal potential to inherit a heavenly crown, castle, and kingdom.

Comment question: What helps you see others, and yourself, through the lens of divine, royal capacity?

Contest Winner {Link Party}

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:38:00 -0700

by TOFW

And the WINNER of our February Link Party is...

"Family Near and Far"
by Jacque!

Congratulations, Jacque!! We will be sending you some of our favorite products from our very own Time Out for Women presenters.

Thank you to everyone who participated! We enjoyed seeing What LOVE Looks Like to you.

Join us at TOFW.com on Monday, March 5 for our next Link Party.

VIDEO: What Do Your Roots Say?

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 00:14:00 -0700

Have you ever wondered who you might find on your family tree? Perhaps one of your ancestors was a pioneer, an artist, or maybe even a pirate. But what does being related to any of these people mean for you? Listen as TOFW music artist Cherie Call shares her thoughts about family inheritances and identifies some family history we can all be proud of.

Hitting the Red Carpet

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 08:00:00 -0700

With TOFW presenter Jenny Oaks Baker being nominated for a Grammy award for her album, Wish Upon a Star, we had to steal her away for a second and get the scoop of what it’s like walking down the red carpet…

Where were you and who were you with you discovered that you were nominated for a Grammy award?

It was 11:00pm and I had just finished practicing with my two oldest children, Laura and Hannah. I knew that they would be posting the nominations on the Grammy website at that time, so my daughters and I went online to check. My husband, Matt, who was in Australia on business called us just as we saw my name listed as a nominee and started screaming at the top of our lungs. I guess Matt eventually understood my excited screams and we were all able to rejoice together.

My family, especially my husband, have been incredibly supportive. My kids were excited that they had something to share with their teachers and classmates the morning after the announcement. And they were excited to watch for me on the red-carpet at the Grammy awards. My husband has been amazing! He helped me feel like a true princess to get me ready for the red carpet.

Jenny and Suzette Bruggeman

We loved your dress. Was it difficult to find a modest dress?

I have a dear friend, Suzette Bruggeman, who has been acting as my stylist. She spent weeks searching for the perfect dress for me to wear on the red carpet. She finally found me a BCBG Maxazria gown that is modest and elegant. I love my dress and will always be grateful to Suzette for helping me find it. She and her husband were also able to attend the Grammys with us. She looked stunning in her modest green gown. We both got many compliments on our gowns and I felt every bit as stylish. Modesty really stands out and I’m grateful I chose to remain modest!

Jenny on the red carpet
behind Alicia Keys

What was one of your favorite moments during the night?
I LOVED walking the red carpet! At the end of the carpet, there is a wall of photographers who take a million pictures of you as they yell out your name hoping you will look straight out at their camera. I was there right between Alicia Keyes and Diana Ross. That was pretty amazing!

What thoughts and feelings did you have after finding out that you didn’t win the Grammy?

I was REALLY disappointed that I did not win, and so I spent a bit of the night trying to keep my tears from ruining my makeup. However, I know that the Lord loves me and that He still has a plan for me. It is His plan, and He has never let me down. His plan seems to want me to stay humble, and deep down I am grateful for this. I am truly grateful that I was nominated. It has already opened up many doors for me, and has enabled my music to be heard by so many more people, many of whom are not of my faith. I hope to continue to build bridges between religious through the unifying power of good music. I hope to continue to record and perform and do what the Lord would have me do. I want to be an instrument in His Hands, and I don’t need a Grammy Award to do so.

Jenny with Jane Seymour

What advice do you offer to other LDS youth who want to be musicians or artists?

I would encourage them to work as hard as they can now because they really need to get as much training as possible while they are young. I would plead with them to hold tightly to the rod. The Arts are a powerful medium, and Satan will tempt them so that He can use their talents for His purposes instead of for building the Kingdom. We can all go farther with the Lord’s help than without it. The Lord has a plan for each of us, and we just have to be ready and worthy for it. I have lived an incredible life, and I owe everything to the Lord. I KNOW that if I had not kept the commandments when I was young, I would not have been blessed with what I have now. I am so grateful to have a beautiful family and a firm testimony.

A Whole New World performed by Grammy nominee Jenny Oaks Baker

VIDEO: The Beauty of Inadequacies from "Our Best Bites" Bloggers

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Before you post this, before you tweet that, and before you pin anything, enjoy this funny clip from our brand new presenters Sara Wells and Kate Jones.

How's Your Heart?

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Several years ago a friend looked me in the eyes and asked, “Julie, how’s your heart?” It took me back and I didn’t know how to respond. No one had ever asked me that question before. So, I responded to her question with another question (typical therapist tactic), “What exactly do you mean by that?” I asked. She responded, “How’s your heart? How’s your heart with your family? How’s your heart with Jesus Christ?”

I’m used to responding to the usual questions “How was your day?” “How’s your family?” “How’s work going?” and even, “How are you feeling?” but never before and never since have I been asked “How’s your heart?” It was such a powerful question that I continue to reflect on the question.

As sisters in the gospel, our work of salvation through Jesus Christ is about matters of the heart. Why then, don’t we talk more openly about our hearts? The Savior’s atonement and resurrection fulfilled the law of Moses and ended the burnt offerings, and replaced it with a sacrifice of a “broken heart and a contrite spirit” (2 Nephi 2:27). In Matthew 22:37 the Lord taught that the most important commandment is to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart.” The Lord wants our hearts.

So, let me ask you, “How’s your heart?” Really. How is your heart? Not your family, your day, your job, your schooling, but your heart. The scriptures mention many possible states of our hearts. Which one best describes your heart right now?

Pure: "for this is Zion—the pure in heart” (D&C97:21)

Proud: “thou shalt not be proud in thy heart,” (D&C 42:40)

Failing: “men’s hearts shall fail them” (D&C 88:91)

Pondering: “receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts” (Moroni10:3)

Cheerful: “do these things … with cheerful hearts and countenances” (D&C 59:15)

Prepared: “prepare their hearts to receive the word” (Alma 16:16)

Hard: “harden not their hearts” (3 Nephi 21:22)

Broken: “He healeth the broken in heart” (Psalms 147:3)

In a world obsessed with appearance and status, it’s easy to overlook our hearts and focus primarily on external things. “For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Let’s start talking more about how our hearts are doing. I challenge you to ask your family, friends, and neighbors the simple question, “How’s your heart?” and watch their confused and stunned faces. Who knows? Maybe they’ll even blog about your conversation in a few years.

What LOVE Looks Like {Link Party}

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

L-O-V-E

Just four little letters that can mean SO many things.

What do YOU think of when you hear the word "Love"? Is it a person? An act of kindness? Your job? Chocolate?!?

Well, Time Out for Women wants to know What LOVE Looks Like to you, so join our February Link Party & you will be entered to win a package full of products we love!

Here's how to participate:

1. Post a picture on your blog that represents LOVE to you. It can be of the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word, an image of someone or something you love, your favorite valentine, etc.

2. Make sure your post includes a link back to this story on TOFW.com. Just copy and paste the code in the text box below.

3. Click on the text below that says "Click here to enter" and fill out the information (your name, the address of your post, and a thumbnail image of what you love). Your thumbnail will display below and will direct everyone who clicks on it back to your blog.

It's that simple. We can't wait to see your photos! The winner will be announced on TOFW.com on Friday, February 17.

P.S. If you don't have a blog, you can still participate by leaving a comment below.

A New Kind of Valentine's Love

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:11:00 -0700

I was once asked to interview a highly respected woman for an important video project. This production was to be a motivational presentation for a large annual women’s event in my area. And as I began the interview it became immediately apparent that it would not be a quick and easy assignment because this woman’s personality, by all accounts, appeared to be largely...well, dull.

All during the interview I can remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I wonder why a more lively candidate wasn’t chosen for this piece?” Her responses were each so lackluster that I began subconsciously energizing my questioning tactics, hoping to spark some more enthusiastic and interesting answers.

Years later, through a small twist of divine fate, I was asked to direct the music at this well-loved woman’s funeral. And to my amazement I learned that she was, indeed, a genuinely extraordinary woman.

After losing her only child in a tragic accident when the girl was merely a teen, this gentle woman chose forgiveness and peace rather than bitterness and resentment. For years she worked long hours, yet she decided to enjoy her job and those with whom she associated instead of feeling weighed down and overwhelmed by her lot in life. She served as a senior missionary in a country where hardly anyone showed an interest in her message, yet she remained cheerful and optimistic, consistently seeking out and remembering the “one.”

As I sat listening to the inspiring triumphs of this humble, unassuming woman, I was struck by both awe and shame because I had missed the whole point of my previous interview with this outwardly unexciting woman. I viewed her with only my worldly eyes and stony heart instead of seeking to recognize who she actually was…an angel, an example, and an honest-to-goodness believer.

I thought of the prophet Samuel, when the Lord said to him, "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature... for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

Regrettably, I think we're often tempted to take one quick look at another person and think we have them all figured out. We may unfairly judge them; even dismiss them, because they simply don't seem similar to us, or because we just don't have enough patience to try and understand them. Then sadly, we miss out on those potential friendships and on beautiful life lessons. I'm also quite certain we miss out on some very sweet blessings that our loving Heavenly Father had waiting just for us.

Happily, I have re-discovered that merely looking upon “countenances” has proved to be occasionally misleading.

So I'm now trying MUCH HARDER to look upon hearts.

How have you seen this principle improve your relationships?

Show the Love

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:02:00 -0700

by TOFW

Love is shared with different people in different ways.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, we asked a few of our Time Out for Women presenters how they “Show the Love” to people around them. Read the fun things they had to say:

Whitney Permann (from Mercy River)

I don't live close to any of my siblings, and they are all younger than me and in a "different stage" of life. This, year, I have been impressed to send frequent, simple text messages to them to share cute anecdotes, random pictures of my kids, or a few words of encouragement. I hope this can help them know that I am thinking of them and love them even though we don't talk a lot.

Carmen Rasmusen Herbert

"To a Child, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E."

No matter what else I get accomplished during the day, I never regret the time I spend playing with my kids. Not one single minute. Even if the dishes stay waiting by the sink, the laundry stays in the dryer (for another week) and the floors stay speckled with crumbs. Taking time to give my boys their favorite thing-ME-always gives me that settled feeling of peace and satisfaction when I lay down at night. I've found that no other pursuit is more worthy of my attention than showing my children I'm here, I care, and I love them.

Check out those ears!!! 4th grade photo.
I sewed that outfit all by myself and was so proud.

Merrilee Boyack

My goal this year is to work on being kind. I've discovered that one of the kindest things I can do is listen. I'm not very good at that! So I just keep thinking the whole time, "Merrilee, be kind. Keep listening. Be kind." It has really helped a LOT!

OK, more current picture below . . . with my grandkids, Keaton and Linnea

Kris Belcher

I’ve really been trying hard lately to verbally acknowledge each thing my husband does for me. Also, when there is a way I need him to support me emotionally; I am making an effort to express my feelings without coming across like a victim. It’s tough stuff!!!! But, I am trying. I think it is helping me feel more love for him.

How do YOU “Show the LOVE”? We want to hear—share below!

VIDEO: What Would You Ask For?

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:01:00 -0700

Finding My Way

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

I worry about myself. I want to be guided by the Spirit, but sometimes I wait for promptings, feel nothing very certain, and move forward with tentative steps, just hoping that I’m doing the right thing.

We live in complicated secular world, where “feelings” are often disdained as a source of knowledge. That means we all have to decide whether we’re willing to trust spiritual promptings, and then we have to step forward with faith even when our tendency is to fear what lies ahead of us.

Elder Bednar has taught us that the priesthood holder who bestows the Gift of the Holy Ghost does not “give” the gift; he commands the newly baptized person to “receive” it. The receiver must work to activate the influence of the Holy Ghost, and then to keep the Spirit near (“Receive the Holy Ghost,” October 2010 General Conference). It is, in other words, a life-long process to acquire and retain the gift of the Holy Ghost.

I believe that. But here I am in my usual state: feeling rather guilty, aware that I’m not charging very fast up the road to perfection, and frankly, starting to believe in my old age that I may never become as spiritual as I’ve always wanted to be.

But you know what? I don’t think we do ourselves a favor when we assume that we must walk this earth in a constant state of religious euphoria. President Boyd K. Packer has taught us not to expect constant communication from the Holy Ghost. In a Liahona article, he said:

“I have learned that strong, impressive spiritual experiences do not come to us very frequently. And when they do, they are generally for our own edification, instruction, or correction.”

So when the spirit communicates with us, how does that happen? President Packer went on to say:

“The spirit does not get our attention by shouting or shaking us with a heavy hand. Rather, it whispers. It caresses so gently that if we are preoccupied we may not feel it at all . . . . Occasionally, it will press just firmly enough for us to pay heed. But most of the time, if we do not heed the gentle feeling, the Spirit will withdraw and wait until we come seeking and listening and say in our manner and expression, like Samuel of ancient times, ‘Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth’ (“Candle of the Lord,” Liahona, July, 1983).”

President Packer’s words have helped me a great deal. They make me feel that it’s okay not to feel guided in everything I do. President Packer doesn’t talk about transcendent experiences or stunning revelations. He tells us to humble ourselves. That’s not easy for me. But at least I know where the interference is coming from. Of all the killers of the Spirit, pride seems to be the greatest culprit.

None of us is as righteous, as spiritual, or as holy as we ought to be. But if we’re willing to set aside our own pride, guidance will be there when we need it. That’s the trust we must place in the Lord. The truth is, I have received guidance many times in my life. I suspect you have, too. And that’s what we must remember. Yes, the Lord lets us find our own way at times, but we need not conclude that we are alone.

Contest & Giveaway: YOUR Favorite Quotes

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

We asked you to share the inspiring thoughts you surround yourself with every day. Here are a few of our favorites:

10. "It doesn't matter what you will do for a living, it matters what you will be."
-President Boyd K. Packer

Submitted by Natasha

9. "Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Submitted by Crystal

8. "She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails."
-Elizabeth Edwards

Submitted by Leilani

7. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
-Mother Teresa

I put it in a frame and every day we will write one kind word or phrase on it with a dry erase marker to focus on for that day. Click here for a free printable.

Submitted by Tonii

6. "Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results."
-Elder David A. Bednar

Submitted by Danielle

5. “Please don’t nag yourself with thoughts of failure. Do not set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. Simply do what you can do, in the best way you know, and the Lord will accept of your effort."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley.

Submitted by Jennie

4. “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
-Author Unknown

Submitted by Mandy

3. “Believe in who you're becoming.
Believe in who you are.”
-Hilary Weeks

Submitted by Joy

2. "In all living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley

Submitted by Sandee

And now for our favorite quote & the WINNER of this week's giveaway:

1. "Please do not pray—I plead with you—for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle."
-President Thomas S. Monson

Submitted by Cynthia

Congratulations, Cynthia! We would LOVE to hear more of your favorite quotes! Leave a comment and share what motivates, comforts or inspires YOU.

VIDEO: Becoming What He Wants Us to Become

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:46:00 -0700

Have you ever wondered what you should do with your life or if there are specific things God wants you to become? Mariama Kallon offers some advice to any who truly wants to discover the answers.

Beating the Blues

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

January is usually a very gray month for me—literally as well as figuratively. Besides being freezing cold and snowy outside, the leaves and branches all stark and gnarly against the smoggy sky, there’s not much going on besides survival. I usually am overwhelmed thinking about the struggles and stresses of a whole new year ahead of me.

As I was moping about one day, trying to talk myself into 2012, a light went on. It came while I was flipping through my new Mary Engelbreit calendar, a tradition that started when I was in high school. As I turned to the month of August, I read a quote by Margaret Bonnano that hit me like a ton of bricks: “It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis.”

What? You mean it’s really true what Abraham Lincoln said that the future comes “only one day at a time”? I always knew that. But for some reason, I was always stuck thinking about the days ahead, what might happen “someday,” as if it were always out of reach. I don’t know why it never occurred to me that NOW could be the time to be happy, NOW could be the time to become a better me.

Just simply getting by was not doing much for me. So this year I decided, What if I go all out? What if life IS about trying my best to be better? What if, instead of saying, “Oh well, it doesn’t matter, it’s just one day; everyone will forget this song/cake/dinner/Sunday school lesson tomorrow,” I said, “The future happens one day at a time and the day is NOW.”

Suddenly I had the motivation to be a better mother, wife, friend, visiting teaching companion, Primary chorister, and writer. All around, I was motivated to live my life more fully.

I’m not preaching perfection or beating myself up for falling short some days. When I set this goal for myself, it was because I knew I had been slacking a little. I was perfectly capable of handling more, stepping it up a little. But I also know when to call it a day and curl up on the couch with a good book.

This January has become a joyous time for me. I feel that when I am trying my best at being better, my Heavenly Father is more pleased with me and blesses my efforts.

Life is about steady improvement. And little by little, day by wonderful day, I am living out my happily-ever-after.

Friday Favorites: Winter Date Ideas & Contest Winner

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

Take a TIME OUT this week and enjoy one of these fun winter date activities with someone you love, suggested by our very own Time Out women!

10. Take turns with your husband planning dates--and plan half of them at home and the other half going out! You could watch a movie, have take-and-bake pizza, make banana bread together or even clean the kitchen! Or if you're going out, have a romantic dinner, share an ice cream sundae or try a new restaurant.
April P.

9. Go for a walk on a nice winter's day out in a country area with someone you care about. While you're out you can spend some time alone with each other, enjoying nature. You can even bring a camera and take some photos, or bring some hot coca, or just have a snowball fight. It's all up to you and your imagination.
Brittany J.

9. Go sledding and then go back to your house to enjoy hot chocolate and toasting s’mores by the fire.
Kathryn B.

7. Ice blocking! You don't even need snow and it's soooooo fun!

Dixie H.

6. Snowshoeing! Its a great way to get sunshine without the expense and skill needed for snow skiing. And it works for all ages.

Kristy D.

5. My husband and I took our kids on a "blind date". We blind folded them and drove them to their favorite spots in town. We took them in and made them guess where they were. They got everything right, except the ice cream cones at the end. The library, pizza, park (it was 50 degrees outside), and ice cream ended up being a cheap, fun, winter date with the kids. We certainly could have gotten a babysitter, but we needed some family time. The whole date lasted three hours, and was under $25 for all 5 of us.

Kristen D.

4. On a dark, starry night we love to bundle up and go for walks. Sometimes just around our neighborhood other times around a safe park. There is nothing like snuggling up close together and have the brilliant stars to look at. An idea that I've tossed around but haven't done yet is to make a homemade lantern using a mason jar and a candle (perhaps wire on the top as a handle). It would give a nice glow!

Nicol M.

3. On a good Saturday afternoon it's fun to bundle up really warm, bring a good blanket, pack a Thermos of hot chocolate and bring a fun snack and take your hubby sledding. It really brings out the kid in both of you, if you can drive up a canyon and find a good out of the way spot with few people you'll be amazed at how you two let go and really have fun!
Erin O.

2. A trip to the bookstore. It sounds funny, but it is a fantastic date with a friend, spouse, or child & can be used on any budget.

With a Child: You can try story-time or just play with the trains, and maybe even grab a muffin and hot chocolate on the way out.

With a Friend:

Go together to grab magazines or even a fun book club book to read.

With a Spouse:

Go through fantastic cookbooks and find things you would love to make together or check in on relationship strengthening or self-help books to set goals together. When you have the money to splurge top it off with some chocolate.
Mary B.

Our favorite date idea and the winner of this week's contest is:

1. Last week, my husband and I went on a date. The location: mall, the game: people watching bingo. We all love to watch people, so I made two score cards. On the cards were things like crying child, tester, kissing couple, someone falling down while ice skating and other random things one might see at a mall. We had a great time and to top it off, the date was free. Now granted we could've had dinner or a treat, but my goal this year is to date my husband for little money!!! Enjoy and don't forget to yell, "BINGO!" Heidi Durant of St. Helens, Oregon

Heidi D.

It's a Retreat for Girls!

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:03:00 -0700

by TOFW

When I was 12 years old, I attended a program at BYU one summer. It was called ACADEMY FOR GIRLS and it would not be an overstatement to say it was a significant experience and opportunity that shaped my life. I think that was the first time I really started to consider that maybe…just maybe…I was put on this earth for a really specific reason. It was a unique combination of the kinds of things I would soon experience at girls camp and youth conference. I loved it. I loved being away from home for a week and meeting new friends and feeling the spirit and thinking about my life.

So I was thrilled when I found out that someone who had helped with the ACADEMY FOR GIRLS program (now discontinued) had started a new program. And I was even more thrilled when I attended my first RETREAT FOR GIRLS experience and realized how familiar it all was. Oh, the memories came flooding back and I knew this was something TIME OUT FOR WOMEN needed to help with.

RFG is a week-long event for girls 12-15. It’s a youth event without the boys. It’s like camping without the bugs. It’s not a replacement for any of the wonderful opportunities girls already have afforded to them. It’s just an addition. And I think it’s a really really great one.

~Laurel Christensen

Time Out for Women LOVES what Retreat for Girls does to help strengthen and guide girls growing up in this sometimes crazy world we live in. Full of positive role models, fun activities, and great presenters, it’s the perfect retreat to help guide a young woman along her path of growing up.
-TOFW

VIDEO: Prophets Get Discouraged Too

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:00:00 -0700

If you’ve ever felt discouraged, you’re in good company, because so have many prophets and apostles. But these negative feelings don’t have to last. Listen as Kelly Ogden relates an experience of the prophet Joseph Smith that reminds us all where to turn to overcome our challenges.

It's a Shoe Party! {Link Party}

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

We're having a Shoe Party & we want you to come (ok, so maybe it's a Link Party).
And what girl doesn't love a great pair of shoes?!?

But what if our "shoes" represented a different roles that we play in life? The shoes may look and fit differently depending on the role you play. For example a teacher's shoes might not look the same as a runner's. Often two women with the same role wear different looking shoes. And sometimes we love our shoes while other times, they just don't fit quite right. Listen to what Jane Clayson Johnson has to say about the Story of our Shoes.

Well, since we all wear so many different shoes, we thought it would be fun to have a Shoe Party of our own and here's the best part: We want YOU to come! A link party is just a fun way to help you find new blogs and to share your blog with more people and we are so excited to host TOFW's first-ever link party!

Here's how you can join the Shoe Party:

1. Write a post on your own blog or website about YOUR shoes. Tell us about the shoes you are wearing or the shoes you hope to wear. What do they look like? How do they feel? Would you change anything about them?

2. Make sure your post includes a link back to this story on TOFW.com by copy and paste the code in the text box below under the image

3. Click on the text below that says "Click here to enter" and fill out the information (your name, the address of your shoes post, and a thumbnail image of your shoes). Your thumbnail will display below and will direct everyone who clicks on it to your Shoes post on your own blog.

4.Come back and enjoy what other women have shared about the "shoes" in their lives. (And leave a few comments...you know we all love those!)

We can't wait to hear the story of your shoes!

P.S. If you don't have a blog, you can still participate by leaving a comment below.

Link back to this story by copy and pasting the following code in your blog:

What Donnie Adonis Taught Me About Fear

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:58:00 -0700

It was nighttime.
I opened my front door to run a letter out to the mailbox.
And then I was completely gripped and overwhelmed with fear.

There was something . . . or perhaps someONE out on my front steps.
It was dark and I cautiously called out, “Hello! Is someone there?”
No response.
How strange.
I moved a little bit closer, my heart thumping in my chest.
What was it?
WHO was it?

I stopped and turned back into the house and called my adult son to come with me. I told him there was something strange out front and I didn’t want to go alone. He opened the door and his dog began barking like crazy. I was still confused and afraid. We all walked out together to look at what was there.

We approached and then began to laugh.

Someone had put a life-sized statue of a Greek young man draped in a robe on my steps. He held a bouquet of vegetables (think celery, carrots, turnips and a few flowers) in his arms. In front of his feet was a large wooden sign that read, “Happy Birthday! Hot stuff!”

Oh. My. Word. It was a birthday surprise for my birthday the next day. There was a card that said “his” name was Donnie Adonis (check out his Facebook page, I kid you not) and that he was there to wish me a happy birthday. His driver would pick him up the next day.

You’ve GOT to be kidding me. It was hilarious. I laughed all day. So did the neighbors.

Once I got over being scared to death, I was delighted to receive a wonderful, albeit unusual, gift.

That is pretty common in life. If we can move through fear, we often will receive a great gift.

Several months ago a situation in our family came to a scary confrontation. There were many days filled with fear, worry, and pain. Of course, I was praying about this situation like crazy.

After many days of prayer, sweet enlightenment came to my mind from the Spirit. “Merrilee, you’ve been praying about this for years. The only way to answer your prayer is to go through this scary, painful part. Then resolution can come.” I was shocked. I literally stood there on the sidewalk (I was on my daily walk) and thought about that. I had been terrified about how this would all turn out. And yet, the Lord was actually trying to bless me? Ah, this made sense.

After confronting the fear and the pain, then the blessing would come. Of course. I hadn’t seen it because I was still moving through the fear part and reaching toward the faith.

The Lord wants to bless us. He loves us. He knows us. And He wants us to have faith in that. But sometimes moving towards a blessing requires that we go through our fear first.

We may be scared to go back to school but the blessing of an education awaits on the other side of that fear. We may be terrified while we are in the midst of a divorce but the promise of eternal love still is there beyond the fear. We may be afraid of failure as we once again tackle the challenges of a mortal body, not knowing that the blessing of health and fitness truly are there for us.

But I’ve learned from Donnie Adonis. We just need to blast through our fears with faith in ourselves and in the Lord. A great surprise and blessing awaits us on the other side!

First Ever LIVE Chat

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

As an editor, I’ve had a chance to work on a lot of books over the past three decades. Many have lifted me, taught me, helped me, and entertained me, but only a few have truly changed me. Increase in Learning is one of those rare books that has made a real difference in how I see and behave in the world. Working with Elder David A. Bednar’s words was an experience I’ll always cherish. So I’m excited to have a chance to dig deeper into this incredible book and find out how it is changing you.

Here’s the invitation: Come explore Increase in Learning in a live chat with me every Wednesday, starting January 18, at 1:00 p.m. MST. Just visit seek.deseretbook.com/learning.

Each week, we’ll be reading one chapter or section and discussing it online. We’ll talk about the questions Elder Bednar poses at the end of the chapters and the questions we’ve thought of ourselves, the things we’ve learned, and the actions we’re being motivated to take. For January 18, be prepared to discuss Chapter 1.

Here’s the full discussion schedule:

January 18: Chapter 1

January 25: Related Readings for Chapter 1

February 1: Chapter 2

February 8: Related Readings for Chapter 2

February 15: Chapter 3

February 22: Related Readings for Chapter 3

February 29: Chapter 4

March 7: Chapter 4, continued

March 14: Related Readings for Chapter 4

March 21: Wrap-up

Please join our virtual reading group! And if that hour doesn’t work for you, we’d still love you to weigh in with your comments later on. Come visit the page and share your thoughts anytime. We can’t be “live” 24/7, but we still want to hear what you have to say.

Talk to you soon!

Emily Watts
Senior Development and Communications Editor Deseret Book Company

We are SO excited to join Time Out for Women presenter, Emily Watts, in the first-ever live discussion of our Book of the month! Who will be there?

Extraordinary

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:23:00 -0700

Ex-traor-di-nar-y

[ik-strawr-dn-er-ee]

1. Beyond what is usual, ordinary or established.
2. Noteworthy, remarkable.

Extraordinary moments can happen in the middle of ordinary days. They can. They do. Sometimes remarkable things (an answer, a hug from a child, inspiration) go completely unnoticed. Sometimes remarkable things (an answer, a hug from a child, inspiration) are life-changing.

Recently I conducted an experiment. For thirty days during my morning prayers, I asked Heavenly Father what was most important for me to accomplish that day. After my prayer, I would listen and wait to allow the Spirit to speak to me about what was most important to do that day. Usually it was a prompting of only one thing. He didn’t send a long list of things to do—just one, maybe two.

One morning I felt prompted to write my nine-year old daughter Meg a note telling her how much I loved her. After dinner, I finally got around to writing the note. I left it on her bed while she was taking a bath. After getting out of the bath and getting into her pajamas, she came downstairs where I was. She was crying, really crying. I asked her what was wrong. Meg told me that she had been feeling very lonely and had just been upstairs praying for Heavenly Father to help her to feel loved. She went into her room and found my note. She could barely get the words out while she was telling the story. I was grateful to know what was most important that day.

The key to experiencing remarkable and noteworthy experiences is to recognize them! A rainbow. An inspired thought. A note. Extraordinary moments can happen while doing the dishes, driving carpool, making PB&Js, folding the laundry, wiping ketchup off a little chubby cheek or over a dinner of macaroni & cheese.

They can.

They do.

Watch and see.

VIDEO: Be Careful What You Wish For

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

You’ve probably heard the caution “Be careful what you wish for—you just might get it.” In this humorous story, Michael Wilcox shares why this is especially good advice if you ever meet the “marriage fairy.” So, what’s on YOUR wishlist?

VIDEO: TOFW in 2012: Seek the Good!

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:42:00 -0700

by TOFW

More Than What You See

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 09:06:00 -0700

by TOFW

A few months ago, I was in need of some direction. I turned to my scriptures as I often do and was reading a passage in my scriptures I had read dozens of times. I saw the words I had seen every other time my eyes had scanned that particular page. But, as I was moving on to the next verse, something caught my attention. One of the words seemed to jump off the page. I went back and read the verse again.

The word that jumped out was in the past tense. I hadn’t ever really noticed that before. And noticing one particular word in the past tense completely changed the meaning of the verse. The meaning of the verse changing led me to check out the cross reference below which took me on a journey that had a profound impact on me.

I was so intrigued by that experience. Months later, I still find myself thinking about it. There I was seeing something I had seen a dozen times before. But this time, I looked deeper and discovered something different which compelled me to do something I hadn’t done before.

The TOFW 2012 THEME “SEEK THE GOOD” is not a passive invitation to simply SEE. Rather it’s an active invitation to SEEK. Why the distinction and does it matter? We think it does. We think it matters a lot.

Some of you could sit down and make a list of all the good and happy things in your life right now. In fact, you might feel like your life is overflowing with so much good that you can hardly contain it. Some of you might struggle to list five things in your life right now that feel good or happy. In both scenarios, the TOFW 2012 Theme is for YOU.

Our invitation to you this year is to do more than see—to perceive, to view, or to notice—the good in your life. Instead, we invite you to SEEK—to go in search of, to find, or to try to obtain—the good that could exist but might just be waiting for you to discover.

Do you want to experience more good in your mothering or your marriage? SEEK THE GOOD in your mothering and marriage.

Do you want to feel better about your personal development? SEEK THE GOOD in your personal development.

Do you want to know what things need your time most right now? SEEK THE GOOD that needs you.

There is so much good in the world—so much good you can do, so much good you can create, so much good waiting for you to uncover—but if you are simply looking at things the way you’ve always looked at them, you might be missing what is already there in front of you.

Let 2012 be the year you take some time to slow down and connect with what really matters most.

Let 2012 be the year you SEEK THE GOOD in life.

There’s more to discover than what you think you’ve been seeing.

"What "GOOD" will you be "SEEKING" this year?

Laurel Christensen

General Manager, TOFW

What's Your Next Step?

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Have you ever been in a gathering where the teacher asked for all of those who are converts to raise their hands? Did you have the urge to join the group? I’ve wondered, if I don’t raise my hand, what am I? A not-yet-converted?

Maybe someday I’ll be in a gathering and ask “Will all of those who are desirous of experiencing conversion please stand?”

Conversion is a process. I’m “in process.” Maybe you are too.

President Harold B. Lee gave a description of what a person is like when he or she is truly converted:

“One is converted when he sees with his eyes what he ought to see; when he hears with his ears what he ought to hear; and when he understands with his heart what he ought to understand. And what he ought to see, hear, and understand is truth—eternal truth—and then practice it. That is conversion. . . . ” (Stand Ye in Holy Places [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1974], 92).

One thing that strikes me about this is that we’re to see, hear and understand truth, and then practice it. “Practice makes perfect,” and on the way to perfect it can make us better.

Conversion is about change. Thinking, speaking, and acting differently as a result of what we’re learning and feeling through our prayers and study, our faith in Jesus Christ. It’s about considering more often what the Savior would do, and what He wants us to do, and then acting. Practicing. Trying a little harder.

Many of us make New Year’s Resolutions. Maybe for 2012 we could write down something like “Become a convert.”

As a nurse I used to record “TPR” on patients. These were their vital signs: Temperature, pulse, and respiration. If any of these was absent, either my watch was broken or the patient had “left the room.” The signs really were VITAL.

It’s much easier to measure how many times a heart beats per minute than to measure how my heart might be changing in the conversion process. How do I record how deeply my heart feels about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and about having Him as my Savior and Redeemer? Am I making an honest effort to understand all of this better, and to have it change me?

Maybe I can watch myself. Take notes. Do I observe any changes in my thoughts? Am I planting good words (seeds) in my heart?

Conversion is being born again—becoming Christ-like and God-like.

It’s the experience of a mighty change of heart.

I’d like to suggest a couple of questions which have helped me to “zero in” on a whole list of things I can work on (I’m not bored!). These are questions I can ask in my communication with my Heavenly Father. “Is there anything I’m doing that’s not right for me?” “Is there anything I’m not doing that I need to be doing?” I get a lot of help in setting goals! (Sometimes I whisper things like “Could You just mention one or two at a time?”).

I can think of lots of things I want to work on, but I’m trying to narrow it down to a couple of things that I feel will be possible during 2012. Want to join me? Let’s each choose one thing we can work on. Let’s become converts! “In process.” May our “vital signs” reflect that we are in the process of becoming who we are meant to be.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

VIDEO: Be Still My Soul

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Listen as classical violinist Jenny Oaks Baker shares her faith through music.

It's Here! The NEW 2012 Tote Bag!

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:28:00 -0700

by TOFW

-Pink lining

-inside pocket with zipper

-12’’tall x 15’’wide x 3’’ deep
-Logo embossed on bottom right

Finding My New Normal

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 09:52:00 -0700

My life right now is not normal. Now some would argue that being abnormal is probably one of my spiritual gifts, but I shall politely ignore them. But I just don’t feel normal yet.

Now there’s good reason for that. In the last three years I’ve survived breast cancer with five surgeries, chemo, radiation and all that, long-term unemployment, being the Relief Society president, and blah, blah, blah, just a ton of stuff! To top it all off, I’ve decided to become a pesco-vegan. I just eat plants with a little bit of fish and eggs. Weird, I know. But I’ve felt very directed to do so for my health.

So I don’t feel normal yet. My body is different. My head is different. And my dinner plate is way different.

I realize that my life will never go back to the old normal. Things have dramatically changed in every way. And I know it’s just dumb to sit around and long for the old normal. It’s gone.

So I am searching for my new normal. Someday it will come. Someday I will just not notice the scars on my rearranged body. Someday I will look at my plate of food and not miss the giant slab of meat. Someday I will go the whole day and not think about cancer.

But how do I get there? Let me share five ways I’m working on it that may help you as you work on it as well.

1. Accept that things have changed. That’s hard, I know. I had a very hard time facing the fact that cancer is chronic. But all of us have something that we have to deal with that’s hard and will last through mortality. So I just accept that—with that new popular saying, “It is what it is.” Not sure what that means. But I get it.

2. Look forward with hope. What things do I look forward to? What dreams do I have for the future? I’ve been pondering these and setting goals. It has helped so much to look forward once again. Once I got past the survival mode, it helped so much to once again plan tomorrow, and next week, and next year.

3. Cut myself some slack. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes the past just washes over me and I find myself gasping for breath. My new body is taking time to get used to. My new way of cooking is driving me crazy. It helps to just allow ourselves time to adjust. I repeat the phrase, “I’m giving myself an entire year to exercise these muscles and get strong.” That allows me to calm down and not beat myself up over not having the strength I once did. It’s important to understand that change takes some practice and it takes time.

4. Be open. My past idea of normal is gone. So I need to be open to new ways of living normal. We can embrace the changes and be open to them. This will allow us to adjust a whole lot faster. Sometimes I find myself closing down. When I feel this, I try to stop, stand up very tall, pull my shoulders back, and breathe very deeply. And then I just envision my mind opening to a new future filled with light and love. It sounds strange but I envision myself opening up to a glorious future. It works.

5. Invite joy. Being in survival mode for a long time can take its toll. We find that we just get focused on getting up and getting dressed. Or maybe taking a shower. Each day can be a struggle to just do what we must do. But at some point, as we move along in the survival process, we can once again invite joy back into our lives. For each of us, this will be different. For me, it was to start looking outside again. I breathe in the air, look at the sky, enjoy the flowers—drinking in the beauty of the earth. I found just that simple act each day began to restore the joy in my life. We can invite joyful people back into our lives. Or we can do joyful things like laugh, be silly, sing, and dance. Just begin inviting it back.

Bit by bit, life is growing more comfortable. I’m feeling a little more each day as if I’m coming home. It will be a long process but that’s okay. It will come.

Friday Favorites: 'Tis the Season of Gingerbread!

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 17:01:00 -0700

by TOFW

Homemade Gingerbread cookies made just for us by Brooke of Mercy River

A few weeks ago, the Mercy River ladies brought us the BEST homemade Gingerbread cookies and it got us thinking about what a fun (and yummy!) part Gingerbread brings to the Christmas Holiday.

And just when we thought EATING the Gingerbread was fun, the Deseret Book Flagship store across from Temple Square, put up a one-of-a-kind display of a real Gingerbread Cookie Machine. And yes, it actually makes cookies and every customer gets one! We are voting it stays there year round since it’s become our favorite afternoon treat stop.

Take a look at the making of this fun display (and you’ll want to call the kids to come watch this too.)

And we couldn’t have fun with Gingerbread without a GINGERBREAD HOUSE CONTEST. We asked our TOFW friends to share pictures of their creations with us and below are the WINNERS!

4^th PLACE: GINGERBREAD NATIVITY

3^rd PLACE: SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
designed by Ginny Hale

2^nd PLACE: GINGERBREAD NEIGHBORHOOD
designed by Niki Petersen

And the WINNER of our Gingerbread House contest is...

Log Cabin Gingerbread House
designed by Diana Hammock

Congratulations, Diana! You will be receiving a Mercy River CD!

In case you are wondering, this house is made of hand rolled logs, baked at different temperatures to add variety of color and almost the entire house is edible. Wow!

Thank you for sharing your creativity with us! Have a delicious Gingerbread Christmas!

-TOFW

That Time of Year

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

TOFW Team: Mary Moore, Laura Korth, Christa Morgan, Angela Folsom, Tennisa Nordfelt
Front Row: Chrislyn Woolston, Lorelie Sander

It's that time of year when streets come alive with glowing colors and joyful music echoes around every corner.

...when children are full of excitement, anxiously waiting their surprises.

It's that time of year when families and distant loved ones come together in a warm embrace.

...when smells of fresh cookies fill the air.

It's that time of year when hurt is overcome with forgiveness.

...when anger is melted by love.

It's that time of year when, if we take a moment to

pause,

reflect,

and give thanks on the story that shares the holy night when Christ was born, one can capture the joy and magic of this very special season.

We wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

--Your Friends at TOFW

P.S. Don't miss our Singing Christmas Card to YOU!

Video: Our Singing Christmas Card to YOU!

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:00:00 -0700

by TOFW

A "White" Christmas

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Snow? I really don’t want it to snow! I think I’m the only person in Utah who isn’t wishing it would snow for Christmas. I know. I know. They want a white Christmas like the song says. But brrr—it’s cold enough already!

No, I’m not a Scrooge. I just grew up in Northern California, where instead of snow on the ground, a “white Christmas” meant heavy fog that seemed to block out the rest of the world. I remember looking out the large windows in our living room and barely being able to see past our deck. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t just my poor eyesight. It was thick fog. I felt like my family and I were the only people on earth, tucked safely in our warm home, listening to Nat King Cole as we opened gifts together by the fire.

While serving as a missionary, the words “white Christmas” gained a new meaning for me. My companion and I had been teaching two different women, and we challenged them both to be baptized on Christmas Day. It was so wonderful to see them both dressed in white and baptized into Christ’s church on the day we celebrated his birth. I definitely felt joy that Christmas, and think of that baptismal day whenever I hear the familiar words from the song, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.”

One week later, we met again to witness another baptism. This time, it was a sweet lady and her daughter that were dressed in white. It was New Years Day, and what a way to begin a new year!

These four ladies each had a fresh start in their new lives, all because of Jesus Christ. Because of the birth of that little baby—His death, atonement, and resurrection—we all can have a fresh start. We can find joy as we turn to Him. We can have a white Christmas as we repent and become purified through Him. And we don’t even need snow.

Merry Christmas!

It is POSSIBLE

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:36:00 -0700

"No Trespassing!" "Now Hiring! "Beware of Dog!" There are message signs everywhere that catch our attention, but are we overlooking the most important ones? John Hilton reminds us about one important message in the scriptures you'll want to pay attention to.

VIDEO: Take a Sneak Peek - 2011 DVD

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 16:08:00 -0700

by TOFW

Whether you experienced it live or are looking forward to experiencing it for the first time, this 2-disc set will give you the “TIME OUT” you have been waiting for. With full presentations from many of the 2011 presenters, this DVD is a great way to discover your possibilities and join thousands of women in acting on the theme of Choose to Become.

Enjoy Six hours of exclusive full-length messages from TOFW's 2011 Choose to Become Tour (available only while supplies last)!

Here's a SNEAK PEEK...

You might have more in common with a super hero than you think! Time Out for Women presenter Laurel Christensen shares her super hero identity and the source of REAL power in her life.

Heidi Swinton had the privilege of writing To the Rescue, the biography of President Thomas S. Monson. Listen as she shares the story of a wayward young man and the change that took place in his life when President Monson asked him an unlikely question.

Need a little encouragement? Listen as Hilary Weeks performs one of her newest songs from her album, Every Step. Her message is sure to inspire you to keep following your dreams.

Order your copy of the Time Out for Women 2011 Choose to Become Tour DVD now!

Help for the Worry-Wart Mom

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 17:34:00 -0700

I’m a really good worrier. It’s sort of a gift. And it seems that the older I get and the more kids I have, the more my worry increases. Right now, as my kids are still little, my worries are centered around little ones dashing into the street, kidnappers lurking around parks, and diseases contracted from licking the bathroom floor. I worry about them being kind at school and not calling names in their Primary class. But all of these worries seem tame compared to what I will face in the future with teenagers—who actually EXERCISE THEIR AGENCY! Shudder. How do moms keep from worrying themselves to death when their kids are old enough to face things like pornography and drugs and immorality? I think I’d rather stick with my please-don’t-wet-your-pants-in-Wal-mart worry, thank you very much.

Every time I get anxious about raising my kids—and all the things that could go wrong—I try to remember that faith and fear cannot coexist. I try to have faith that if I work my hardest as a mother to obey Heavenly Father and love and teach these kids the best I can, He will send the help I need. One day, while reading in Alma, the spirit taught me this very principle. As I read chapter 43, it occurred to me how much the “war” chapters can be applied to families. Reading with this perspective brought these accounts alive for me, along with a new hope for my parenting. For example, in Alma 43, the Lamanites are preparing to attack the Nephites. Moroni prepares the best he can, and then asks Alma to “inquire of the Lord whither the armies of the Nephites should go to defend themselves against the Lamanites” (v. 23). And what happens? The Lord gives Alma VERY specific instructions on what to do. This miracle—when the Lord gives a specific battle plan to protect His people—happens several times in the Book of Mormon.

So if it can happen to Alma, why not to moms? Do I believe that the Lord can reveal to me SPECIFIC things I need to do in order to protect my family? Yes! Do I believe that the Lord can show me how to arm one of my children to combat a particular weakness they have? Absolutely. The Spirit testified that the Lord will most assuredly give me—a mother leading her children into a war zone—individualized guidance, instruction, encouragement, and direction. How comforting it is to know that if I remain worthy, I can receive specific, individualized battle plans from Heaven. It is this knowledge above all else that brings peace to this worry-wart mom’s soul.

A Peek Inside: TOFW Presenters Invite Us Into Their Homes This Holiday

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 11:53:00 -0700

by TOFW

Merry Christmas! Photo courtesy of Jason Wright

Some of the Hughes' Santa Collection

Nutcrackers and cross-stitched stockings

My wife and I collect Nutcrackers . . . and Santas . . . and Dickens Village Houses . . . and nativities. Kathy has also cross-stitched Christmas stockings for every member of our family, and she's quilted a beautiful Christmas-tree skirt. What this means is that we have a whole room in our loft full of Christmas stuff. It's a major operation to get everything out and displayed, along with our twelve-foot Christmas tree, but it wouldn't seem like Christmas if we didn't do it.

Dean Hughes

The Birthday Trees

I was actually born right on Christmas day. One year my cousin gave me a card that read:

Being born on Christmas

Is quite unique because

You never know who brought you--

The stork or Santa Claus!

My mom always had two trees in our home--one for the Savior and one for me. She also hung up a sign that said, "Happy Birthday to Jesus and Brad!" She insisted my brothers get me two gifts. They put one under the Christmas tree and the other under the birthday tree. The plan worked well until the year my older brother bought me a pair of mittens and put one under the Christmas tree and one under the birthday tree. It all went downhill after that! After I got married and had my own family my wife and children decided to keep the tradition going. If you come to visit our home during the holidays you will see a big tree for Jesus and a little one for Brad. The birthday tree houses the most eclectic collection of ornaments you can imagine. Some were made by the children through the years. Others have been gifts from students or souvenirs from trips we have taken. Some of the ornaments once hung on my grandmother's tree and are antiques at this point. I'm afraid the birthday tree is not going to be winning any awards for beauty and style, but each ornament has a story and brings back a wonderful memory. That makes the tradition all the more meaningful. So, from the Wilcox home we wish you all a happy birthday. Oops! I mean a Merry Christmas!

Brad Wilcox

Christmas Carol Clock

My mom loved to send Christmas items as Thanksgiving presents to my sister and I so we would have them to enjoy for the holiday season. The Thanksgiving before she died, she sent me this clock with a note that said, "You know how much I love listening to Christmas music, so every time you hear this clock chime a different carol, I want you to think of me and how much I love you."

Macy Robison

Nativity displays from around the world

Shortly after we moved to Ann Arbor Michigan in 1982 the Relief Society president, Betsy Christensen, started a crèche display at the church for a Relief Society Christmas activity. Several sisters brought their nativity sets to share, and they were lovingly displayed for all to enjoy. As I remember there were fifteen nativities at that first display. The next year Betsy decided to repeat the event and open it to the public. This became an annual tradition that lasted for 25 years and spawned similar events at literally hundreds of LDS chapels throughout the country. In Ann Arbor, thousands of nativities from hundreds of countries were lovingly and artistically displayed for almost a week each year, attracting thousands of visitors who were mostly not of our faith. This was our gift to the community each year. One of our favorite stories of this event was from a non-LDS visitor who had frequently brought her children to the crèche display. One day as she drove by the chapel with her young son he recognized the building and said, “Look, that’s where Jesus lives!”

We no longer live in Ann Arbor, but nativity scenes from all over the world still fill our home at Christmas. Our Christmas tree has no Santa Claus ornaments any more – only nativities, angels, sheep, and stars. We love the cultures, artistic talents, and faithful worship of the Savior by peoples of many faiths represented by each nativity in our home.

Wendy Ulrich

This picture doesn't represent what is MOST important about Christmas for me, but it does highlight a tradition: The wrapping of hundreds (yes, HUNDREDS) of gifts (many from the Dollar Store, so I hope my family doesn't see/read this!!). I have four brothers and three sisters (plus spouses), 31 nieces and nephews (plus spouses), and 45 great nieces and nephews. And of course there are the friends and neighbors. I'm pretty much "doing Christmas" all year long (has anyone else noticed how QUICKLY it arrives each year??). My main personal approach to the real meaning of the season consists of lots of reading, pondering, visiting others (especially family), and trying a little harder to be a little better.

Love,

Mary Ellen Edmunds

Kissing Angels

My mom made the two "kissing" angels and I love thinking of her as I display them each year.

Hilary Weeks

Flynn Family Christmas PJ's

Every year, we get matching pj's or sweats. We all wear them from Christmas Eve to Christmas night. Sort of like "Team Flynn." (Last year we were missing our missionary, Nick. He wore his own in Mexico.)

DeAnne Flynn

VIDEO: Overcommitted?

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:24:00 -0700

Ever feel like you're juggling too much? TOFW's mother-daugher presenter team Linda Eyre & Shawni Eyer Pothier share some great ideas to help you manage stress and focus on what matters most.

Looking Forward

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 09:20:00 -0700

Recently, I was out with a friend, and we saw an elderly man who made us sad. Well, my friend did the seeing part, but she described him to me. He stood straight, yet his neck was bent so that it was nearly parallel to the ground. The only way he could look was down. He was accompanied by someone else who served as his navigator.

We wondered what had happened to this man so that all he could see was his feet. Was his condition a result of accident, disease, age, habit, or was he born that way? I didn’t even realize at the time that he could see more than me. I just felt sad for all he was missing around and above him.

I got to thinking that many of us may figuratively be like this man. How often does our gaze focus down instead of up to Christ? How often are we stuck in the sorrow and stress of the here and now, and not looking forward or what is eternally more important? What would happen in our lives if we practiced looking up? How many more people could we help? How much more revelation and direction could we receive? How much happier would we be?

Alma teaches his son Helaman to “look to God and live” (Alma 37:47). This can be a pattern for us. We can look up and see things with a heavenly reference. Our way of living can have a vertical focus instead of a horizontal one, where we look to others as an indication of our progress.

My invitation to us all is to notice the direction of our focus, and try to look up and forward to Christ and to the good things around us. Let me know what you find.

FRIDAY FAVORITES: Christmas Books

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:43:00 -0700

by TOFW

The holidays are here and that means there's lots to do. Make sure you take a break from the baking, shopping and decorating to enjoy a Christmas story or two. Here are a few of your favorites:

A Christ-Centered Christmas: Seven Traditions to Lead Us Closer to the Savior
by Emily Freeman

-Favorite of Debbie Lewis Franklin

The Tale of the Three Trees
by Angela Elwell Hunt

"My parents read it to me as a kid now I read it to my children. Beautiful story." -Favorite of Melissa Tilley

Christmas Jars
by Jason F. Wright

-Favorite of Leontyne Hendricks

Two From Galilee
by Marjorie Holmes

"Two From Galilee is my all time favorite story of Joseph and Mary. It brings to life the reality that the were real people, and not merely just the glass figurines that set on the table in my nativity scene. I have read this short novel every year as the Christmas season come upon us. I have given this book to many friends and family members, who have loved it as much as I do."

-Favorite of Jan Spiers Campbell

I Believe in Santa Claus
by Diane G. Adamson

"I love love love I Believe in Santa Claus. I love how it describes Santa and then the Savior and then says something to the effect of I believe in Santa Claus because he reminds me of Christ."
-Favorite of Wendy Jessen

The Littlest Angel
by Charles Tazewell

"My favorite is The Littlest Angel. Reading it is one of our family's Christmas Eve Traditions. The kids still love having it read to them even though they are all adults, and we have no grandkids (yet)!"
-Favorite of Shelli Logue Wilson

God Gave Us Christmas
by Lisa Tawn Bergren

-Favorite of Emily Johnson Conner

Christmas on Mill Street
by Joseph Walker

"I LOVE the book by Joseph Walker called Christmas on Mill Street. Great little story! So fun and most people my age can relate to all that sledding! Tons of fun."

-Favorite of Wanda Copier

The Forgoten Carols
by Michael McLean

"My kids are already begging me to read it to them."

-Favorite of Rebecca Rossi

What other books do you love to read at Christmas time?

What WE Have in Common

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 09:14:00 -0700

You don’t have to give birth to a child to be a mother. Every woman has the power to profoundly impact another as she offers her heart to those around her. Hear DeAnne Flynn share a story of how one small act by a woman with a mothering mindset made the all the difference.

It's Worth It!

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:16:00 -0700

The cartoon taped to the front of our refrigerator said, "Things to do today: Get up, survive, go to bed." A teenage visitor saw the comic and began to chuckle saying, "Now that's funny!"

My wife said, "No, it's not. It’s parenthood!"

When my wife and I were first married, Debi and I adjusted quickly to our new roles as husband and wife. After all, both of us had served missions and knew what it was like to work with companions. We wanted a family and dreamed of the day our companionship would grow. We promised ourselves that we would be the perfect parents.

When the day finally came and our first daughter was born we faced a transition for which ten missions could never have prepared us. Friends warned us to expect little sleep and disrupted schedules but no one told us that these inconveniences would go on and on and on. When little children play house and dress up like mommy and daddy they only have to rock the baby doll until it's time for lunch. Then the game is over. Not so in real life.

At the same time our baby was being born there was another couple in the ward also having their first. We knew we were already falling far short of our goal to be perfect parents when the other couple sent out darling baby announcements and we simply hung a sign on our door that said, "Do Not Disturb."

These two new babies were blessed on the same day. Their baby cooed sweetly. Our's screamed. During the rest of sacrament meeting their baby slept contentedly. Our's cried. After the meeting everyone gathered around their baby saying, "Oh, how cute!" The few that straggled our way said things like, "My cousin's kid was just like this.”

In Elders Quorum that day the new fathers were asked to share their feelings with the group. The other father went first. He said, "These past few weeks have been so special. I am thankful for the happiness this child has brought into our home."

Special? That wasn't exactly the word I had in mind. Happiness? As dearly as we loved our daughter, I thought it felt more like frustration, exhaustion, stress, pressure and anxiety. The other father was choked with emotion as he continued, "This experience has brought my wife and I so close."

I shook my head and looked down at the floor.

Finally, the brother concluded, "My greatest concern is how I will teach this child all that she needs to do to return to her heavenly home."

My biggest concern was simply how I was going to get my baby to sleep through the night. I felt terrible.

That day after Church, my wife and I looked at each other and said, "This is hard! What are we doing wrong?" We were not turning out to be the perfect parents we had planned to be.

Since that long ago Sunday we had three more children. Of course, our discouragement did not last. That’s the message I want to give those new parents. That’s the message I want to give all parents. That’s the message I want to give all who are considering becoming parents. Like a mission, like an education, like earth life itself, parenthood is not easy. But it is worth it! Our children have brought us a depth of joy we could never have otherwise known. We can’t imagine our lives without our children—and now our grandchildren.

When it becomes discouraging, I hope it helps to read of our experience and know you are not alone. We made it through some of those demanding years and so will you. And we will all be better for it. Hang in there. Parenthood is worth it!

FRIDAY FAVORITES: A Look Back at 2011

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 10:40:00 -0700

by TOFW

From being stranded in Seattle to climbing the bridge in Sydney, it’s been an unforgettable year in each of your cities!

Here are just a few highlights…

Stranded in Seattle on our way back from Anchorage, AK

Our first-ever LEAD RETREAT in Ogden, UT with each of the Leads from our event cities this year.

A little BACK-STAGE fun always helped get the event rolling…especially in RENO!

OKLAHOMA! A place that always makes you want to sing!

A visit to Liberty Jail on the Sunday after our Kansas City event.

Having the Girls join us in SAN ANTONIO for our FIRST-EVER Time Out for Girls Event!

Lots & lots of DELICIOUS meals after the events on Saturday night!

Helping numerous Women’s Shelters around the world…thanks for your help!

Spending Sunday morning at the Oklahoma City Memorial after our event. What a place!

Thanks to each of you and your support, we made it to our FIRST-EVER International Event!

(The Bridge Climb was fun, but the event with YOU was even more amazing!)

Thanks for all the memories. We can’t wait to be with you again in 2012!

Facing Your Fears

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:48:00 -0600

I used to wonder how my life would turn out and even wondered why the Lord saved me. I was raised in Sierra Leon, a country plagued by civil war, and experienced great sorrows and tragedy. I lost my family, everything I owned, and narrowly escaped death. Yet, as the years have gone by and I’ve witnessed great miracles, I have come to realize that God watches over all His children. He knows us personally and cares for us one by one. Difficult experiences in life prepare us to recognize God’s blessings and to reflect the light of His goodness and love into the lives of others.

None of us is exempt from the sorrows of mortality. Some of us experience the darkness of depression, losing a loved one, or suffer because of the poor choices of others. Too many allow the clouds of fear, bitterness, hatred and sin to come between them and the peace and happiness God is able to give. Because of the atonement of Jesus Christ we can overcome these feelings of darkness.

The Savior is able to heal any wound, but we must do our part to access this healing power. I felt tremendous sorrow until I decided to let Him in. To activate the atonement, I needed to pray and fast fervently for His guidance. I had to struggle on my knees and ask for courage. I had to live worthy for the Holy Ghost to dwell in me. I also had to ask in faith for a pure heart and a broken and contrite spirit (Psalm 51:10). Because I was willing to let Him in and turn my life over to Him, He has visited me in mercy.

While still a refugee I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was able to serve a full-time mission in the Sale Lake City Temple Square Mission. As I have reached out to others, I have learned more about myself and recognized ways I can be better. The patience, forgiveness, and humility gained through our trials help us to become more like God. And if we allow Him, God will consecrate the bitter times in our lives for more good than we can imagine.

I know with all my heart that He is a loving God, a God that keeps His promises. I have seen great miracles and therefore my soul will rejoice in my God, the rock of my salvation. I will not allow my burdens to destroy my peace. (2 Nephi 4: 26-30).

God lives and He loves all of His children. The atonement of Jesus Christ is real. Do not be discouraged by the turmoil and pains of this world and life.

Let us live each day by striving to do the best we can with a positive attitude. Have faith in Him and be of good cheer. He is with us and will stand by us.