In the wake of the early morning, as the sun rays hit my face, I can barely see.
My eyes are swollen shut.
I have been crying in my sleep.
As I struggle to open my eyes, they fill with tears.
I am angry.
I am hurt.
We were planning to move somewhere new to start over, to be a real family, together forever, just as I had always wanted. I would look past what my husband told me three days earlier—that he had been unfaithful and was living a double life. But he leaves and says the children and I will not be coming with him. We were a family of five; now I am a family of four.
How many lies did he tell me?
I can barely breathe, eat, or speak.
My heart is near destruction.
Three days later, still deep in emotion, I take a pregnancy test.
It is positive.
I am alone with three young children and pregnant, without a home, very little food or gas, and no money.
I cry harder.
I am worried my emotional stress will cause me to lose this baby.
It is the month of March; cold and snowing.
We have nothing now.
I have to help my family survive.
I ring the buzzer to the women’s shelter and ask for help.
We have food.
We have warmth.
We are together, my three children and I.
I cry every day for four months.
I had been a stay-at-home mother; now I leave my children to go to work, so I can afford a home for us again.
I lean heavily on God to get me through each day. In the wake of a storm, He is all you have. My children and I start attending church again every Sunday.
I am getting stronger.
I am learning to recognize that I have so many beautiful blessings each day.
I realize that the Lord has never left me.
He is there, always by my side, wiping away every tear.
I grow an amazing testimony.
I find Grace.
It is the end of June, and I am able to get into an apartment we now call “home.” A family makes a home, no matter where you are. A family is forever. I have my own family now.
It is November and my daughter is born.
Now I have two boys and two girls.
It’s perfect.
My family is perfect, just the five of us.
During my journey, I set goals for myself and my family. As the Lord has served and blessed me, I now serve and bless through Him. I couldn’t be happier.
I waited.
I learned.
I trusted.
I stood firm.
I learn to forgive.
I am loyal.
I am blessed.
I am strong.
I am healed.
God blessed me with a gift. It was grace.
